Last week started off with a friend of mine leaving Bangkok to visit England for 10 days. He reluctantly handed me over his keys, with a look of despair on his face. Knowing that in 15 hours he will be welcomed back by someone saying “the f*** you looking at mayte”, when he gets on the London Underground. He told me he had a good run, then dashed towards the balcony to fling himself off from the 8th floor. I managed to tackle him too the ground, then kept reassuring him everything is going to be okay. I put a aluminum blanket over him untill he got over the shock, then sent him packing and jumped in his pool.
The same day three of my good friend from England arrived to visit Bangkok, so I had to play tour guide. In typical British fashion they wanted to drink, I wasn’t going to tell them no! So we go to RCA which is a street of bars and clubs. Inside they constantly asked me:
“is she a ladyboy”
“is she a prostitute”
I just replied “nope” every time, because I love nothing more then watching a big train wreck when they find out the truth. At 1am I go and show them an after club, and we end up losing a friend. I look in the club and outside, I call him for 5 minutes and no answer, its too late too do anything else now, Bangkok had taken him, id call his mother in the morning and tell her the bad news.
Me and my other two friends do the sensible thing and keep drinking until 5am closing time, walk outside to get a taxi home. Somchai propositions us to take us to another club for free, what a nice guy we thought and jumped in the cab happy as Larry that we didn’t have to pay a taxi fair of about $1 between the 3 of us. We all stumble out the taxi, clearly too drunk, the bouncers see this, smile and let us in.
|Belly of the beast|
We get swarmed by a bunch of girls ( I think), it could of been because were all good looking, or maybe because they were all working. Different people whispering 1000 baht, 500 baht 2000 baht into our ears, were all so drunk we cant even construct a sentence, so just keep dancing till closing time at 7am.
At this point I have so many different stains on my white shirt, that even the guys at CSI would have a hard time trying to find out were they all came from. There is only one club left open at this time in Bangkok, the ugliest of the ugliest and the lowest of the low visit here, so going on our current form from this night, we visit. I’m pretty sure if someone dropped a bomb on this club, not a single person would be missed inside. The shame of visiting this place still haunts me too this day.
|New life low|
8:30am, me and my friends decide to call it a day, all three of us thinking we have hit rock bottom, we walk to catch the metro home. Jump on all smelling of sweat, BO and piss. Our heads in our hand covering the shame from the 500 Thai people smartly dressed going to work, looking at us in pity and shame all giving us the same facial expression:
On the bright side, we lived up too the typical stereotype of a English tourist on holiday.