10 Things I Hate About Thailand

There are many things I love about Thailand, but there’s also things I really hate. For me, it’s more fun to talk about things I hate about Thailand rather than writing articles about temples, ‘street food’ or something like the most 7 amazing markets every tourist in Thailand must visit kind of shit.

Here are 10 things I hate about Thailand, and it’s not meant to offend anyone other than people who fit in the 1#, #8 and #10 categories, in which case I hope I have (not really) (but really).

With the short storm of comments, I will say this article is just a joke and not to be taken too seriously.

1. Farang female English teachers

I absolutely hate farang female teachers with a passion, which is odd because every female English teacher I have met, has been very nice to me and has never said a bad thing. But I hate them none the less,why? Because why are they here? I can understand the reasons a farang male teacher, which is to sleep with sexy Thai girls while earning enough money to fund that habit via teaching, but what about western girls? Every female western school teacher that occupies a teacher role, means that there will be one less future sex-pat in this world. Shame on you.

2. Asking for help

There’s certain things you can’t do in Thailand unless you speak Thai, this includes asking for help. Whenever I go to Tesco or the 7/11, I take a picture of what I want and show the staff. The first thing they do after looking bewildered is to talk to another staff member. They then give me this puzzled look, think for 10 seconds then say “sorry nooor have”, even if I know they have it.

3. Aggressive mamasans

Sometimes you just want to go to a go-go bar to see some tits and perve on Thai girls without being constantly harassed to order beers or buy the girls ‘lady drinks’. So many go-go bars in Soi Cowboy and Nana have the most annoying mamasan managers who keep forcing you to buy drinks or harass you to the point of kicking you out.

4. Asking for none spicy food…

… and they still stick a shit load of chillies in the kunt. I can’t eat spicy food and I will always tell Somchai “mai ped” which means not spicy, yet the food still comes out really hot leaving me with a burnt arsehole.

food

 5. Shopping assistant and waiters

You can’t walk into some shops without the shopping assistant mimicking your every move. You pick an item up and they get all warm and fuzzy that you might buy something, almost guilt tripping you into buying it. Then when you put it back, they think ‘poor farang’ and you leave because it gets too uncomfortable.

The waiters are just as bad, as soon as you sit down you’re handed a menu with 105 pages and the waiter just stands at your table expecting you to order immediately.

 6. Too many shopping malls

For a city where the average wage is around 13,000 baht a month (figure pulled out of thin air) , it sure does have a lot of Nike, Prada and all the other brands that are too expensive for 99% of the population of Thailand to buy. You can get off at almost any BTS station and you will find a shopping mall somewhere, how do they make any money? Apart from the cheap food courts, I rarely see the average Thai buy anything.

7. Taxi drivers

Nuff said.

taxi in bangkok

8. Pretentious expats

You can visit certain venues in Bangkok and you will find so many pretentious expats, it’s 35 degrees outside and they are wearing a shirt and blazer? They go to all these crappy overpriced events that cost something silly for a ticket and is full of other cliquey expats circle jerking each other off. I went to one and felt disgusted, immediately left and got a taxi to Nana Soi 4.

9. The amount of sick water buffaloes in Isan

The amount of times I have been told by Nok and Noi that their families water buffalo are sick and that they need 12,000 baht for an injection to save the poor bugger. I really hate seeing animals in pain and I myself have at least saved 15 water buffaloes alone from dying. I think the world should look at the sick water buffalo epidemic in Isan than spend all this time worrying about Ebola in Africa.

10.Digital nomads  

It’s fine if you work online, but you don’t need to tell everyone you do so. Becoming a digital nomad in Thailand is in the same boat as being into Crossfit or being a vegan. I’ve joined a few digital nomads groups on social media sites just to secretly watch and judge them in my dark little room. They are all so nice and friendly meeting up, helping each other out and building nice friendly communities giving out free useful advice. Get a proper job you hippie *****.

Having said all this, Thailand is still a great country and a good place to live, kind of. If you think I’ve missed anything out, or there’s certain thing you hate about Thailand, feel free to leave a comment below. Next will I will talk about the 10 things I love about Thailand.

 

40 thoughts on “10 Things I Hate About Thailand

  1. Herpes
    11 October, 2014 at 10:36 am

    I agree with u on all things

    1. big labowski
      11 March, 2015 at 7:04 am

      What about Essex man on fat early retirement pension in four wheel drive tattoo arm hanging out of window and looking all hard.I know I sound jealous but only where the pensions concerned.

  2. Wilco
    12 October, 2014 at 6:45 am

    I second that.

    Sorry Noor have…
    But I can see it right up there on the shelf behind you. *pointing*
    *blank stare* Noo sorry noor have.
    That one.. right there!
    *awkward look* Noo noo
    Oh fuck it. nevermind.

    1. big labowski
      11 March, 2015 at 6:57 am

      Wilco you struck a cord .Ever asked for something like..eg “cowpat capow kai dow” your bird translate no have egg.You say ok just “cowpat capow then” 5 minutes later theres a cowpat capow in front of you with a fucking egg on top?

  3. Bob
    12 October, 2014 at 10:21 am

    This is satire, right? Because it’s hard to believe anyone would actually write this shit in seriousness.

    Of course, your (lack of) intelligence is shown in the first graph: “Because why are they hear?”

    Hear? As in I hear you are incredibly stupid?

    1. 12 October, 2014 at 11:13 am

      Welcome to the Internet Bob, you must be new. Yes it is a joke with a few underlying truths.

  4. Nazia
    13 October, 2014 at 7:30 am

    its a facepalm article. Not even funny enough to be considered satire.
    As a satirical piece it started off well then had prick written all over it.

    1. 13 October, 2014 at 8:26 am

      Prick? Nicest thing anyone has said to me in a while

      1. Nazia
        13 October, 2014 at 10:27 am

        you’re welcome

    2. 13 October, 2014 at 11:53 am

      Ha ha well said!

  5. PreviousDigitalNomad
    13 October, 2014 at 7:31 am

    I was once a digital nomad for a year or so and then built up a web programming company with Thai staff.

    I also know a load of digital nomad foreigners who created startups here which have turned out to be pretty big with investments and now registered as thai entities with thai staff.

    What do I hate about Thailand?
    I hate how many dyslexic idiots who write poor quality, awfully written blogs. There are so many of you. You’re often reselling your farang friends one man band web design company who is based in his condo or think you can actually entertain a proper web development or IT consultancy. Oh and don’t forget your SEO and amazing Google skills because you got tricked onto some course, paid for some bullshit “get rich like me” book or watched a youtube video.

    Meh. Fuck off.

    1. 13 October, 2014 at 8:26 am

      Cool story bro.

    2. EAMS
      5 July, 2015 at 3:59 pm

      Digital nomads, entrepreneurs or “serious expat “types, all the same shit. They all came to what used to be the exclusive backwater of hardcore sex tourists like us for 30 years and are ruining it.

  6. Holly Weistein
    13 October, 2014 at 8:29 am

    Though you may not be aware, or perhaps you don’t care, those women you “perve” on are human beings. I spend time speaking with bar girls, who are occasionally trafficked, or forced to sleep with men like you by their families. They have feelings, children, hopes; they work six days a week cleaning and having sex- all of their soul is suppressed. You are partaking in the oppression of humans. Because you need to masturbate does not give you the right to purchase a body to do it. A heart is attached to those “tits”. Please do not think these girls are property, please treat them with the kindness they hardly ever receive.

    1. 13 October, 2014 at 8:38 am

      Calm down Holly, that’s too much real life for one day. I am going to spend the rest of the day outside.

      1. Holly Weinstein
        13 October, 2014 at 11:21 am

        For Pete’s sake Harvie this is their reality everyday. While we can enjoy the luxury of turning a blind eye to pain, these women can’t. The pain inflicted upon these women is bred in the minds and hearts of men like the one who wrote this article. Please go outside and down to nana, sit and watch the broken while they listen to men lust after their bodies, which are considered a commodity, then go back inside and be grateful your family didn’t force you into prostitution.

        1. 13 October, 2014 at 12:41 pm

          What phone do you have Holly? Do you watch TV? Do you wear designer clothes? Almost everything you own or wear involves people getting exploited. Most the bar girls in Thailand are not trafficked and do it out of choice because the money is better.

        2. Jon
          14 October, 2014 at 7:25 am

          I can see your point Holly but you also have to remember that many of these bar girls are pretty decent at lying and fraudulently rinsing many a ‘naive’ guy out of hard earnt money. It doesn’t matter who you are or where your from everyone’s money has been earnt in one way. What I despise is how these girls will happily act like pacman eating through the sometimes extremely hard earnt dough of the working classes at home here in England under the blatant lies and false pretends they sell these guys!

    2. 13 October, 2014 at 8:44 am

      @ Holly Weistein – Trafficked bar girls where? Red light areas aimed at farrangs?

      1. Holly Weinstein
        13 October, 2014 at 11:29 am

        Yes Stickboybkk those areas, while many Thai girls are forced in by their families, some are trafficked. This is such a massive issue that I would like to email you information on it if that’s ok. I work for one organization here that assists bar girls in getting out. There are several organizations here that fight human trafficking, which happens right here In locations you probably pass daily. YouTube nightlight ministries and oneless ministries. All these women want out. Thank you for asking people who ask questions become a part of fixing the problem.

        1. 13 October, 2014 at 12:43 pm

          I would be interested in seeing this and putting it on my site depending on the quality of info.

        2. 14 October, 2014 at 5:19 am

          stickboybkk () gmail.com

          feel free to email me

        3. Jim
          18 October, 2014 at 10:06 am

          LOL@Holly. What drugs are you on? If I could drink all day and fuck fat old women and get paid a lot of money for it I wouldn’t be complaining!

      2. Shocker
        14 October, 2014 at 8:32 am

        In Thai prostitution areas maybe. In farang areas, no

    3. 13 October, 2014 at 12:03 pm

      Holly, while your concern is admirable and Isaan girls/ladyboys have far less choices in the world than wealthy Bangkok dwelling Thais they still made a choice to be hookers. It’s easy money (for the women anyway who just lay there like sponges) in comparison to working in a factory or a shop for 10 hours a day on minimum wage. I’ll bet if someone offered you the equivalent of 10 times your monthly salary for a few hours of sex you would be tempted.
      While I am not condoning prostitution, this is not a feminist issue, it is a blog non-writing issue. In fact it is largely the parents of the aforementioned hookers that oppress them into whoring themselves. Change the culture of dependency on handouts from their children and you reduce prostitution. Frankly, the way the thai government takes care of it’s poor people .. .if foreigners don’t pay the whores, who will take care of them?

  7. francois
    13 October, 2014 at 11:50 am

    Look like you forgot the farang “thaier” that thais or more nationalists than thais (if it s ever possible) , who get upset every time they read something wrong about their beloved thailand and get ready to fight for it . That being said some of them dont mind to throw shit to their homeland, of course responsible for their failure.
    Easier to pretend to be someone in the land of smile.
    Regarding this beautifull nickname, the original one should be “the land of smile if you find it ” (scientist all around the world are still looking for that smile).

  8. Pascal
    13 October, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    lol you’re a proper ray of sunshine arent you m8? pretty funny but agree with most
    the digital nomad thing is really focking annoying m8 (even though I make money online myself and think its a great way to make a living)

    but these hipster hippies annoy the hell out of me too with their do-gooder attitude

    but I dont agree with the malls I couldn’t care less about malls

    and has a girl really asked you for money for sick buffalo?? I thought it was more like a joke these days

    1. 13 October, 2014 at 12:56 pm

      Finally, a few more who get I was joking!

      1. Shocker
        14 October, 2014 at 8:33 am

        Joking? I thought this article was spot on!

  9. Gorg
    14 October, 2014 at 7:57 am

    If I get your drift, what about #11 – Farang you get laid for FREE in Thailand (and in the rest of the world). These guys just seem to get any girls they want without trying to learn the local culture (they don’t even know what mamassan, papassan, BF, ST, LT and other exotic terms stand for). These cheap pricks think any girls will follow them willingly because they are so handsome, funny, smart (etc…) when we all know that girls only care for MONEY.

  10. Ihateliarman
    15 October, 2014 at 2:44 am

    LMAO…nice one harvey. Always love a good rant with some funnies
    Few pennies on social justice holly…everything in this world is linked to exploitation. For those that are directly forced into their own personal unimaginable reality of cock gobbling, it must be a horrifying experience and they need help to exit, but for many who are simply just “miserable” doing it while getting paid 10-20x what they would by grudging out a miserable existence doing factory- exploiting work is a much better reality… imho.
    😉

  11. Louis
    13 November, 2014 at 5:15 am

    Saw some of the crap that you’ve received fromwriting this blog. No worries, mate. you have my support! 1st off, those peeps who leaves annoyed comments on this post, should just piss off to other site which post politically, diplomatically, cater to tourist of all ages, panders to locals of all ages kinda comments just to make themselves feels good. To those genuine Thais who posted some hate comments, I gotta say I’m disappointed With you.

    I admired your patriotic spirit although not all things are true in the post, the guy is just expressing his view. If you are not down with that then I suggest you not surf the internet. I’m from Singapore and I have Thai friends (guy & gals) from my numerous visit to Thailand I always thought the Thais are 1 of the nicest peeps in Asia. By posting such hate comments, you guys are starting to behave like the irritating PRC jokers on the internet, posting hate comments to foreigners who criticizes their stupid Sh*tA** behaviors overseas (ex. Defecating in public!). You guys are far better than them definitely!

  12. 28 December, 2014 at 12:24 pm

    555 funniest thing ive read in a while.

    1. 28 December, 2014 at 3:30 pm

      Glad you enjoyed it.

  13. Lazarus
    4 May, 2016 at 6:57 pm

    I think you may genuinely be just…just a terrible fucking human being.

  14. John Smith
    30 June, 2016 at 2:18 pm

    Immigration gods- UGH

  15. ffitaly
    1 August, 2016 at 6:22 pm

    ahahah man you are on it! …”why are they here?” ahahah

  16. 3 August, 2016 at 5:04 am

    OMG sorry norr have struck the right code… Why they have to speak with 3 more people for 10 minutes just to look as bewildered as if I asked for a living monkey? Damn, that really bugs me. Or making a real social gathering if I asked for a Sprite – what is this? Where do you keep it? Ehh…

    Damn, I am a digital nomad – and it IS a real job!

    1. 3 August, 2016 at 9:09 am

      I guess that’s the charm of Thailand.

  17. Martin Tomberg
    23 August, 2016 at 9:34 pm

    Sometimes we get stuck, this can sometimes help us grow.

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