There are many things I love about Thailand, but there’s also things I really hate. For me, it’s more fun to talk about things I hate about Thailand rather than writing articles about temples, ‘street food’ or something like the most 7 amazing markets every tourist in Thailand must visit kind of shit.
Here are 10 things I hate about Thailand, and it’s not meant to offend anyone other than people who fit in the 1#, #8 and #10 categories, in which case I hope I have (not really) (but really).
With the short storm of comments, I will say this article is just a joke and not to be taken too seriously.
1. Farang female English teachers
I absolutely hate farang female teachers with a passion, which is odd because every female English teacher I have met, has been very nice to me and has never said a bad thing. But I hate them none the less,why? Because why are they here? I can understand the reasons a farang male teacher, which is to sleep with sexy Thai girls while earning enough money to fund that habit via teaching, but what about western girls? Every female western school teacher that occupies a teacher role, means that there will be one less future sex-pat in this world. Shame on you.
2. Asking for help
There’s certain things you can’t do in Thailand unless you speak Thai, this includes asking for help. Whenever I go to Tesco or the 7/11, I take a picture of what I want and show the staff. The first thing they do after looking bewildered is to talk to another staff member. They then give me this puzzled look, think for 10 seconds then say “sorry nooor have”, even if I know they have it.
3. Aggressive mamasans
Sometimes you just want to go to a go-go bar to see some tits and perve on Thai girls without being constantly harassed to order beers or buy the girls ‘lady drinks’. So many go-go bars in Soi Cowboy and Nana have the most annoying mamasan managers who keep forcing you to buy drinks or harass you to the point of kicking you out.
4. Asking for none spicy food…
… and they still stick a shit load of chillies in the kunt. I can’t eat spicy food and I will always tell Somchai “mai ped” which means not spicy, yet the food still comes out really hot leaving me with a burnt arsehole.
5. Shopping assistant and waiters
You can’t walk into some shops without the shopping assistant mimicking your every move. You pick an item up and they get all warm and fuzzy that you might buy something, almost guilt tripping you into buying it. Then when you put it back, they think ‘poor farang’ and you leave because it gets too uncomfortable.
The waiters are just as bad, as soon as you sit down you’re handed a menu with 105 pages and the waiter just stands at your table expecting you to order immediately.
6. Too many shopping malls
For a city where the average wage is around 13,000 baht a month (figure pulled out of thin air) , it sure does have a lot of Nike, Prada and all the other brands that are too expensive for 99% of the population of Thailand to buy. You can get off at almost any BTS station and you will find a shopping mall somewhere, how do they make any money? Apart from the cheap food courts, I rarely see the average Thai buy anything.
7. Taxi drivers
8. Pretentious expats
You can visit certain venues in Bangkok and you will find so many pretentious expats, it’s 35 degrees outside and they are wearing a shirt and blazer? They go to all these crappy overpriced events that cost something silly for a ticket and is full of other cliquey expats circle jerking each other off. I went to one and felt disgusted, immediately left and got a taxi to Nana Soi 4.
9. The amount of sick water buffaloes in Isan
The amount of times I have been told by Nok and Noi that their families water buffalo are sick and that they need 12,000 baht for an injection to save the poor bugger. I really hate seeing animals in pain and I myself have at least saved 15 water buffaloes alone from dying. I think the world should look at the sick water buffalo epidemic in Isan than spend all this time worrying about Ebola in Africa.
It’s fine if you work online, but you don’t need to tell everyone you do so. Becoming a digital nomad in Thailand is in the same boat as being into Crossfit or being a vegan. I’ve joined a few digital nomads groups on social media sites just to secretly watch and judge them in my dark little room. They are all so nice and friendly meeting up, helping each other out and building nice friendly communities giving out free useful advice. Get a proper job you hippie *****.
Having said all this, Thailand is still a great country and a good place to live, kind of. If you think I’ve missed anything out, or there’s certain thing you hate about Thailand, feel free to leave a comment below. Next will I will talk about the 10 things I love about Thailand.