What’s Your Typical Night Out In Bangkok?

I think I need to revamp my usual routine for going out. I seldom go out these days (I’m a boring kunt) but when I do, I tend to follow the same system. Let me walk you through it and suggest me what I’m doing wrong or where I can improve.

PS: sorry for not updating my blog every week, keep getting messages to post more and I will aim to post once a week!

6pm – The pre-pre-pre drink

As I’m from England I like to get my drinking on early. I start by buying a few cold ones from the local 7/11, drink them slowly between having a having a shit, shower and shave. I get in the mood by listening to some Swedish House Mafia, Metallica and Justin Bieber.

7pm – The happy hour (pre-pre drink)

7pm tends to be too early for most of my friends, but as I’m a tight arse, I love to take advantage of the happy hours around Bangkok. I usually end up at the pub on Thong Lo 8  as they have pints of beer ( taste like ass) for 100 baht. Sometimes I’ll go to another happy hour but I will do my best to avoid Soi Cowboy or Nana Plaza.

Soi 23

8-9pmFunky Villa or Bottoms Up (pre-drink)

This is when my night officially starts. I meet up with around 5-7 of my friends and we usually go through 2 bottles of vodka or whiskey while shooting the shit. Most of my friends are socially awkward, so during this part of the night we talk to 0 girls, but take plenty of creepers to post on my blog and to fap over later in our Whatsapp chats.

I shouldn’t be player hating on my mates, I won’t talk to them either.

bottoms up thong lo

We usually go to Funky Villa (Thong Lo 10) or Bottoms Up (Thong Lo 21) which are both packed full of hot girls too. We will usually pre-drink till 11pm unless it’s a weekend in which case we leave at 10pm to the club.

Before we leave one of us will speak in broken Thai to impress the waitress, ask for her number and get rejected.

11pm-2am – Royal City Avenue (R.C.A)

We always debate on which club we should hit but 90% of the time one in RCA. To be honest, I don’t think there’s that many awesome club spots in Bangkok as of late. Levels and all the clubs on Soi 11 seem too sleezy, while staying at Funky Villa or Demo seems like a lost cause (girls won’t talk to us).

Route 66 seems to be our go to place as with most farangs but Onyx as of late is looking pretty good. Slim in RCA was my favorite place in Bangkok but I think it has gone under renovation as of late.

Our plan here is to drink another 2-3 bottles and go around table to table getting rejected by everyone but gay Thais.

After 3 hours of rejections and our confidence shot, there’s only one place left… (Plan B).

3am – Bangkok’s underbelly of after hours

If I were writing this one year ago I would be talking about after hours like Wip and Scratchdog, but after the crackdown they have both took a huge hit. As of right now, our options tend to be Climax, Spicy, Mixx or some shady bar in 22 that doesn’t have a sign and sell bottles for 650 baht.

Climax bangkok

If none of us has gotten a lady of the night by now, we move to plan C.

6am – Walking around Lower Sukhumvit

Around about now the BTS is running and all decent people are getting ready to go to work. Me and my friends smell of ciggerates, booze and body odor at this point. We stumble across the usual Sois (4,11,22,23) in the hope of finding a cracking deal.

If we roll the dice and come up empty, we head to Foodland for an American Club Sandwich, unlimited water and call it a night.

7am – Bedtime

Now I’m lying in my bed tired as fuck but can’t sleep as my heart is beating at 150 beats per minute. This is due to the 5 bottles of Thai red bull I had with my vodka between the hours of 9pm-5am.

That is actually a solid representation of a typical night out for me in Bangkok. I’m sure it’s not the best but I have a good time. What does your typical night out in Bangkok look like? Leave a comment below. Holla!

28 thoughts on “What’s Your Typical Night Out In Bangkok?

  1. Nick
    14 May, 2015 at 1:54 am

    Sounds like a pretty good night to me!

  2. CodyB
    14 May, 2015 at 12:37 pm

    Talk to the Thai Gays first and tell them your straight. They will then introduce you to their “Sister”. Works all the time; Gay Game brother.

    1. 14 May, 2015 at 12:47 pm

      I lol’d because it’s true! Haha.

  3. Shayan Naveed
    14 May, 2015 at 5:49 pm

    Pre-drinks at a house or a bar in soi 11 or some other bars with good deals in Sukhumvit.

    Then we head to either a club like Ku De Ta or RCA or hit a chic rooftop bar. Like you said, not enough good clubs out here. Levels was our go-to place when it first opened but then became very sleezy and full of racist people.

    A few years ago, Khao san was the pre-drinks and party place but not anymore.

    1. 14 May, 2015 at 9:47 pm

      How’s Ku De Ta? Not been yet as the pictures on FB always put me off. Is it a good venue?

  4. Pat
    14 May, 2015 at 7:36 pm

    Mine occasionally used to be: (around 2005-7)

    8-9.30ish – Sometimes Cheap Charlies, but the novelty wears off when you see and hear some female farang tourists putting the world to rights and telling eachother how immoral Bangkok is. Time to fuck off, ornbetter still, them to fuck off.

    Alternatively of course you could get early evening beers down Khao San Road but the sight of white dreadlockeds dudes, lone ‘Walter Mitty’ characters hunting for inane conversation, and wobbly thighed white girls soon has you making a sharp exit.

    9.30ish – 10.30ish – Big fatburgers at Robin Hood or Londoner, more friends meet us there

    10.30ish – Big Johns on Thong Lor soi 9, Jugs of Chang 100 Baht, couple of games of pool

    10.30ish – 1.30ish – Santika (burnt down in 2009) or Twisted Republic (used to be on Suk 11)
    Certainly not that pretentious shithole full of posing farang/Thai arseholes, Q Bar, ever. Or God forbid, Bed Supperclub.

    1.30ish – 3.30ish – Vintage wine bar/disco down Suk 53. Dancing and drinking with also the choice of a 1975 Vintage Cabernet Sauvignon at 1600Baht. DJ MIxmaster Mix plays loud, loud hiphop until 4.The place shuts at 4.

    3.30ish – 4ish – Time for some very late beers at the Nasa Vegas Hotel’s fine restaurant/coffee shop, which is open 24hrs, and still is. Draught Heineken at 70Baht a glass and if you’re peckish, sauted haddock in white wine sauce topped with steamed spinach & mashed potato at 140Baht
    Of course you could substitue this with Foodland.

    7ish to 8ish Home bleary eyed by taxi or worse, the Skytrain. But the Skytrain loses out as I’d rather not stink heavily of booze & cigarettes during the rush hour.

    That’s roughly how a few nights used to go………………

    1. 14 May, 2015 at 9:46 pm

      lol’d at the first to paragraphs. 5* comment as always.

      Tell me more about the club on Suk 53, is it still open? The Londoner was a good place to go on Wednesdays, the B1G1F drinks were decent value. Never heard of Big Jons on Soi 9, which is odd as I walk past that soi a few times a week.

  5. 14 May, 2015 at 9:05 pm

    u guys rly get rejected from thai girls??
    my typical night out is to head to nana or smth, pick up either a couple of hot black chicks with huge boobs, ladyboys, or thai girls. Then take them to the hotel and bang them while video taping it & then i’ll upload it to several porno sites. U might have seen me in action in several pornos (brag)

    1. Pat
      14 May, 2015 at 10:06 pm

      Not sure if it’s still there on soi 53, On the right just after the turning towards suk 55, though I doubt they would have much of their (former) crowd paying for their vintage wines. Shame really as when I went it was majority hi-so/wedged up farang and a few rich farang kids. As Thais Know nothing about decent wine I doubt very much it’s still open (it’s been 8 years)

      Big John’s was on soi 9 by the suk 55 turning, it was more of a”decent farang” tourist hang out, as he advertised heavily on backpacker sites. These farangs actually spent money, dressed well and were not loud mouths, and the decent local area was certainly an advantage.
      He also did a great food menu, serving Aussie classics and good home made burgers. Wasn’t a club per se, more of a bar/hangout with fine music, not so loud.

      Big John left in 2007.

      I’m being nostalgic of course but I still visit Bangkok at quite often. I’m there in July for a mates wedding, but only for 5 days.

      1. 14 May, 2015 at 10:16 pm

        Oh back in 07, yes a lot’s changed since that, some for the better some for the worse. Would love to see a few more hidden clubs pop up. Getting a bit sick of RCA nowadays.

        1. Pat
          15 May, 2015 at 1:24 am

          Next time I’m in Bangkok I’ll take you on a tour of the Bangkok from back in the day, some places were great but now built over, most of the new malls & condos were built on land where many beer gardens/clubs were, some fantastic, some not so, but watching the world and people go by in such a city is a lot of fun!

          The demise of the Pathum Wan Suan Lum night bazarr in 2011 was a crime. Another mall going up I assume.That was a great big beer garden/market/rock music show with no farang marked up prices..a lesser, inferior version has relocated to Ratchada

          The original Siam Hotel coffee shop was where Uni girls freelanced themselves (it was quite ”trendy” for them to do that for a while in 2001-4 to help with study costs or material stuff) As expected lots of older Thai men packed the place out, renting rooms with several girls at once, often those chicks were relieved to be serving us (drinks). Took home some university dressed tight blouse-short skirted ”entertainment” several times.

          Still racking my deteriorated brain** for some other places

          **All those years (and the countless consecutive nights) of clubbing/pubbing/drinking in Bangkok sure wears out the brain matter

          1. Pat
            15 May, 2015 at 1:31 am

            Info & pics of the old coffee shop can be found here

            http://www.oldbangkok.com/hotel-images3/pages/siam.htm

            In fact that site has some real good info & pics on some of Bangkok’s hotels in their heyday. Great site for the nostalgics like me

          2. 15 May, 2015 at 3:23 pm

            Sounds good, an invite to that wedding would be great if the booze and food is free haha!

            I guess in 10 years I will be saying what you are right now.

    2. Pat
      14 May, 2015 at 10:09 pm

      I have seen you in many pornos I bought in Panthip Plaza for 100 Baht. Well hung, very long length….you lucky bastard, how do you do that?

      I’m desperate to learn your (obviously successful) strategy

  6. Hipster from Berlin
    15 May, 2015 at 6:51 pm

    How often do you went out a week Harvie?

    Chears!

    1. 15 May, 2015 at 9:55 pm

      Not that often now, maybe 1-2 a month. Was 3-4 times a week, but as I settled in, I live like a regular Joe now.

  7. pedro
    16 May, 2015 at 9:11 am

    Harvie it seems like youre living a quiet lifestyle these days just working, sports and not going out too much. Im abit curious about your sex life in bkk why dont you write about that?

    are you a full blown whoremonger? do you have a gf? do you bang new sluts off thaifriendly every week?

    1. 16 May, 2015 at 7:37 pm

      Hehe, will save that for a later blog post 🙂

  8. roge
    16 May, 2015 at 11:39 am

    Reminds me of one of my nights out in Cebu. Pre-drinking in Ayala Mall, then hopping into El Gecko for a beer, smoke a cigar and shoot shit with local Aussies, then shit doesn’t go as planned and I next thing I know I get “Fuck Off” screamed at me by some Korean chick on a dance floor in J Ave Superclub and I end up just getting a table and drinking vodka/redbull with some random freelancer chicks till 6 am. Ahhh, I miss it alot.

  9. Keith
    16 May, 2015 at 1:46 pm

    SHM, Beiber, Metallica….pretty f$!*kin ecclectic!
    Try an AC/DC (For those about to rock), Skrillex (Raga Bomb), 2Chainz (I’m Different) set. Maybe you will bag that Hi-So down at Funky Villa or Demo!!!!?!!!

    1. 16 May, 2015 at 7:38 pm

      Haha, I hope so!

  10. Scandibro
    17 May, 2015 at 4:17 am

    Jolly good night out there mate, RCA is always good but the rest gets old pretty quickly (all the Suk 11 scene).

    Some of my most memorable nights out have been when hanging with snooty ‘real’ expats in the music/event biz who usually are invited to all kinds of openings and happenings. I rarely got invited though because I’m not cool and social enough, but when I did, it was pretty cool. Lots and lots of young Thai babes always around. Seems like there is always some special event going on every weekend.

    Ah well, not in Bangkok anymore either, will do a visit later this year though.

    1. Pat
      17 May, 2015 at 3:41 pm

      I once attended a thaivisa.com networking event in Pattaya only to find a bunch of middle aged vest wearing flipflop clad sexpats with their whore ”girlfriends” standing around drinking bottles of the free beer.

      I felt really sorry for the ‘proper’ Thai women there who clearly thought they had stumbled into the wrong place. I doubt many business cards were handed out that evening

      Then again, thaivisa.com is the online equivalent of a stinking festering shithole, so what did I expect?

  11. Andrew
    17 May, 2015 at 8:41 am

    Been in BKK about 8 months and so far and only really go out with Thai friends.

    If go out with them:

    Drink after work at Siloms Pintsman bar for happy hour
    Then head off to RCA. But I find RCA too busy on weekends. I’ve only been to routte66 there but I’ve heard good things about Onyx club.
    Then if still want to party, find an after hours club but like you said with the crackdowns it’s hard to find what is open anymore. I went to Shock 39 club one night and that was pretty good. Tried Mixx club for the first time last weekend but found that way over priced and playing old music from years ago. Also went to a strip of bars and clubs somewhere in Lat Prao one time.

    Some other places I Iike:
    Saxophone pub at Victory monument
    Zeppelin rooftop bar
    Or any bar with a good spot for people watching

    So yeah just ask some Thai people where to go as they might show you new places off the tourist/expat trails.

  12. jspill
    17 May, 2015 at 8:40 pm

    – go the gym mid afternoon and get a pump
    – spam every girl in Line contacts to find out what they’re doing that night, to meet up or avoid them depending on the girl
    – meanwhile harvie is doing vodka shots trolling forums in tab, playing DJ Jean the Launch on the other
    – cram 9 people in 2 cabs head to Route 66, chop a bottle of the cheapest smirnoff and mixers, 317.14 baht per person
    – pick a table outside by the sluttiest girls we can find, point out that fat girl a few tables over Harvie banged last time
    – I stand around on my phone killing time until going to an afterhours whore spot, lazy to talk to a normal girl when i can dust off 1k-1.5k for a nut
    – head climax hoping to find a diamond in the rough, but it’s full of munters wanting 2k
    – get an ass massage from some Issan chick
    – find some streetmeat outside who agrees to go for 1k plus cab fare, realise in the cab she’s missing a few fingers on her left hand, go with it anyway
    – get her Line only to screenshot her profile pic, upload to whatsapp chat with a trip report then block it

    1. 17 May, 2015 at 11:24 pm

      Sounds about right lol.

    2. Pat
      18 May, 2015 at 6:48 am

      ” find some streetmeat outside who agrees to go for 1k plus cab fare, realise in the cab she’s missing a few fingers on her left hand, go with it anyway”

      You bastard that’s my Mrs, she swore she was going to confession that night then to the soi dog shelter to do charity work

      the bitch.

    3. ksharp
      22 May, 2015 at 7:10 pm

      The fock is an ass massage? Are you talking about a girl rubbing all over you on the dance floor or going to a proper massage place to get your ass massaged?

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