1 (And Only) Thing To Do In Phuket

So I haven’t posted on my blog for over a month and my last blog post got this comment by someone called Nico:

Mate what the fuck is happening to your blog? Posting once a month and coming out with this boring garbage!

First of all I ‘apologize’, I’m sorry that I’m going out of my way to provide everyone with free information with the occasional cheeky up sell of my products (here and here) that are hardly worth anything in the first place.

I should be doing more things for free asides from hosting this blog and posting over 200+ pages of content, replying to most emails and helping people out. Forgive me Nico!

Back on topic, this week I want to talk about Phuket and the 1 thing you should do.

1. Visit Suzie Wongs Go Go

I recently spent 7 days in Phuket on holiday with friends, I’ve been living in Thailand for just over 4 years now and this is the second time I’ve visited Phuket (can you see where this article is going?).

4 years ago Suzie Wongs was great, and 4 years later it’s still great. You can get beers from 99b, all the girls are slim, friendly and the atmosphere is perfect.

I’m not a Go Go or beer bar person but I would go as far to say that Suzie Wongs in Patong is by far the best go go bar in Thailand. Everything from the girls to the service is great.

  • Pro trip: there are 2 Suzie Wongs Go Go bars on Bangla Road, you want to go to the original one called “Suzie Wongs”, here’s the sign for it:

suzie wongs

What else is there to do in Phuket?

In my opinion, nothing.

I started off the holiday staying in Kata. This was were I stayed 4 years ago, the beach then was clean and there was very few people. Fast forward 4 years and the place is littered with Russian couples and while the sea water is clear, the beach itself has gotten dirtier.

Luckily I stayed here:

phuket

You can now see fag butts and rubbish littered as you walk across the beach. Prices have shot up ten-fold and you cannot find even street food for less than 100b+ without doing a serious walk.

It can get rather annoying to pay 500b each time you want to go 7km to Patong so me and my friend got a hotel in Patong for 2 nights.

During the day there is nothing to do asides from eating overpriced Thai food (150b+ for fried rice anywhere you go) or very bad western food at absurdly high prices.

The tourist part of Patong is strictly for tourists and the prices, food and the atmosphere reflects that. As soon as you step on the beach people are harassing you.

In a nuthsell, the tourist area of Patong is a total tourist trap and I hated every second of it.

My tips for anyone visiting Phuket

If you decide to stay in Patong, don’t leave your room before 9pm. The traffic, smell and hawkers will annoy you to no end. Don’t get me wrong, all them things will annoy you after 9pm too, but you should be getting drunk around then making everything more tolerable.

After 9pm Bangla Road is pretty fun, there’s lots of bars and clubs to visit and the place is total mayhem for anyone wanting to get pissed and meet some girls.

There’s a few Russian strip joints with hot Russian girls telling you to go inside (on the 2nd floor), avoid them at all costs unless you want to pay 500b++ for a beer and be harassed for tips.

If you want a peaceful beach holiday, go further south or skip Phuket all together and head to Krabi where things will be cheaper and way less annoying.

Why do expats stay in Phuket?

I spent most of my time in the tourist areas of Phuket so take my comments with a pinch of salt, but I don’t get why expats would want to live in Phuket. Unless you have your own transport, getting anywhere takes a lot of time and money.

For example, an airport pickup to my hotel cost me 1,000b.  The same fare in Bangkok would be 300b. Starting prices anywhere is 200b, so if you want to go 500meters, it will cost 200b.

And if you do own a motorbike, good luck on your staying alive goals for 2016.

There’s also a lack of good food and restaurant options, very few gyms and western amenities. If you’re an expat living in Phuket, can you tell me some of the pros for living there?

Asides from clean air and a beach, I don’t really see why expats would want to live there.

25 thoughts on “1 (And Only) Thing To Do In Phuket

  1. Nico
    9 April, 2016 at 10:24 am

    Thanks for the name drop, am I famous now?!?!? :p

    Much better post champion, keep it up!

    1. capt6729
      10 April, 2016 at 2:24 am

      Post is still garbage, but at least he’s back!

  2. greg
    9 April, 2016 at 11:56 am

    few gyms? there at least 30 or more gyms in phuket
    lack of restaurants? hundreds of restaurant starting from 40b up to few k baht per dish. and almost from all over the world.
    transport – taxi are expensive but other kinds of transport are very cheap, gasoline cost 23b

    so what do you do in bangkok that you cant do in phuket apart from nightlife?

    1. 9 April, 2016 at 2:40 pm

      30? If true that’s an impressive amount. Do they all have squat racks, free weights, badminton courts etc? I saw 2 in my entire time there and they looked far from impressive.

      In Patong and Kata I saw next to zero street food priced at 40b. The Thai restaurants I ate at were all very poor and you could tell they were made for westerners (i.e lacked any taste) and were twice the price +.

      In Bangkok, you can randomly walk into a Thai restaurant and see dozens of thais. In Patong and Kata I saw zero Thais eating. I did see them as I walked further away from the beach, but who wants to walk 1km or more for that when in Bangkok it’s on your doorstep?

      In Bangkok I’ve got options. Within a 1KM radius I have everything I need in walking distance. I don’t need to think about how I’m going to get there. For example, I cook a lot, there’s several western supermarkets walking distance, in Kata I had to pay 300+ just to get to Villa market.

      Just the fact that you MUST have your own transport is enough to put me off Phuket as an expat.

  3. Pedro
    9 April, 2016 at 3:48 pm

    agree man phuket is an overpriced tourist trap and why anyone would wanna live there is beyond me

    you forgot the worst aspect of it… the local Thais are some of the biggest **** I’ve ever met in all of Thailand. I’ve never met such rude Thai people like in Phuket.

  4. greg
    10 April, 2016 at 9:00 am

    becouse all you of you talk about kata, patong.chey are overpriced etc. tourist places everywhere are bulshit.

    living areas of phuket are priced well. quite new condo 30-40m with pool 8-12k. gym (in new hotel cardio room, lifting room and pool on the roof) 800b 1y contract. food as i mentioned from 40b up to sky. so show me those stuff in bangkok at least 30% cheaper. im waiting

  5. greg
    10 April, 2016 at 9:13 am

    as i said transport is expensive but for tourist. i jump on scooter and im everywhere in no time. shop, gym, restaurant .

    and you said there is only 1 thing to do in phuket (suzzy). so tell 5 things u did in last days in bkk that it is imposible to do in phuket. maybe it will turn out that bkk has 0 thing to do 😉

  6. Keith
    11 April, 2016 at 12:40 am

    Great to see you back Harvie! 🙂

    Other than good/numerous beaches, and great sea views, Phuket has NOTHING to compare to Bangkok. So, guess it depends on wht you are willing to give up to get right up on the ocean?

    1. 11 April, 2016 at 3:53 am

      Exactly, to me it’s giving up everything for some sea and water. I prefer to visit as a holiday every leap year year lol.

  7. greg
    11 April, 2016 at 6:14 am

    its obvious that bkk has greatier selection of clubs, restaurants, cinemas, gyms, girls etc but all those stuff exist in phuket so im still waiting for examples what you do every day in bangkok that i cant do in phuket.

    1. 11 April, 2016 at 8:03 am

      Everyday things?

      I can walk to Villa, Tops, Foodland and Big C as they are all less than 1KM from each other.

      I can grab a taxi and travel 5km without being charged more than 60b.

      I can leave my apartment which is located right next to Thong Lor BTS and find street food for 40 baht.

      I can use the BTS to get around Bangkok from 6am-Midnight without having to own a motorcycle or pay abusrds amount in a taxi.

      If I want to eat at great retuants, there’s 100s of options within a 2km radius of my apartment.

      I can leave in a highly fancy area with Thai/western amenities without seeing a single tourist.

      That’s just a few. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Phuket is great for beach lovers, but I’m not a lover of a beach and is why I don’t like the area for a long-term stay.

      1. 22 June, 2016 at 3:30 am

        Do you mind if I ask how much your rent is there?

        I would be content with a studio apartment in Bangkok near the sky train. I am familiar with the BTS Krung Thon Buri area, and like it there.

        Rents there near the river can be high though.

        Thanks for any housing advise near the sky train.

        1. 22 June, 2016 at 8:42 am
          1. 23 June, 2016 at 4:49 am

            Thanks Harvie

  8. greg
    11 April, 2016 at 8:54 am

    i have also not more than 5 minutes to: villa market, tesco, gym, restaurant western and thai etc. using scooter which is more comfortable than walking or taking taxi. but i dont want to judge if bkk is better than phuket and i dont ask about it. i refer to title of your article.

    i want you to answer my question. you wrote that there is 1 thing to do in phuket so i am curious what you do in bkk that i CANT do in phuket. 5 examples from last 2 weeks.

    1. 11 April, 2016 at 9:28 am

      Hey Greg,

      My blog posts are written for comic effect. I agree that the title of this post is absurd and that there are tons of things you can do in Phuket that you cannot do it in Bangkok. But the title does have some truth as if you’re not a beach lover, there’s not too much reason to visit Phuket.

  9. 12 April, 2016 at 12:50 am

    Is this the same as Suzie Wongs in Cowboy or different owners?

    1. 12 April, 2016 at 4:26 am

      I’m not sure, I assume the same but the comparison between them is huge.

      1. Alex S
        15 April, 2016 at 7:02 pm

        In what way is it different from SW in Bangkok?

        1. 16 April, 2016 at 4:04 am

          It’s the opposite to the one in Bangkok.

          1. 16 April, 2016 at 2:36 pm

            Not as sleazy then, although if I recall some of the birds in Suzie Wong are a bit rough, nice show though!

  10. alex
    13 April, 2016 at 8:08 pm

    I can only agree with you. The biggest problem might be the tourists ( ok, “the other” tourists). The vibe is not Thailand. Like an expenssiv postcard where it rains all the time and its crowded with obnoxious Russians and Scandinavians who think they have chosen a quality holiday, when in fact they get screwed (in a bad way) 24/7. I prefer Bangkok every day in the week, even Pattaya feels much more honest.

  11. 22 June, 2016 at 3:22 am

    Suzie Wong is the best bar on Soi Cowboy in Bangkok as well in my opinion.

    Crazy House which is just off Soi Cowboy is great too. Go to the end of Soi Cowboy by Cockatoos hang a right at the end of the strip and about 50 foot away is the Crazy House bar. It was always very busy when I was there.

  12. Tim
    10 September, 2016 at 6:39 pm

    Live on the east side of the island, and the hotel prices are much more friendly. I got a suite for 1500 baht last year. The hotel name was “Serenity Resort & Residences Phuket”. Nice and silent place.

    Rent a motorbike and drive yourself to Kata beach or Patong. That way you don’t have to be robbed by the taxis. It takes 20-30 minutes to drive from the east side to the west side, but that trip is just fun! 😀

  13. herpess
    29 October, 2016 at 9:58 pm

    Need to visit that gogo bar. But doubt I will be going to Patong any time soon hehe, Pattaya is way closer, 125 baht for bus

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