If you plan to live in Thailand for any considerable length of time, there will come a point in time when you’re literally shitting all your bodily fluids and organs out your arsehole, or vomiting your stomach out of your mouth.
Today I’m going to give you my un-educated opinion on what I do when I’m sick.
Disclaimer: I am not giving out advice or recommending anyone to do what I do, in fact you should stop reading this article right now and consult a doctor when you feel ill. That is my advice, see a doctor or registered health professional. And really, stop reading this article, it’s total horse shit.
Don’t see a doctor
When I get sick, I’ll consult with Google and my flower pot before I go and see a doctor in Thailand.
To me, doctors and hospitals in Thailand are very much similar to the game Theme Hospital, where the objective is to make as much money as possible from every patient walking through the door.
Add the first 10 girls you meet on Thai Friendly to Facebook and within 2 weeks you’ll see one of them post an image with a bunch of pills to cure her cold or flu:
They love selling you pills (and not the good ones!).
My friend had sepsis and it took one private hospital in Bangkok 3 days to diagnose him, he racked up more than 35,000฿ baht in expenses… luckily he had insurance.
No thanks Doc.
Buy Activated Charcoal/Carbon
There’s a good chance you’ll get diarrhoea at least once if you stay here for 3 or more months, maybe even days.
For 25฿ you can buy something called activated charcoal/carbon which helps to clean up all the shit (pun intended) in your stomach and intestines.
I’ll usually take about 1g per day when I have the runs or as soon as I feel my stomach is about to go full retard.
Avoid Imodium and other tablets unless you have to block your plug hole for a long distance fight, it can cause a lot of harm to your body.
How to get over food poisoning
The way I recover from food poisoning in Thailand is to stop being a bitch.
When I first got it I was shoving everything (including black hairy dicks) down my throat and nothing worked.
Food poisoning can’t be fixed with a tablet, it just needs to run its cause.
The last time I had food poisoning I couldn’t leave my bed, all my joints were sore, I had a headache and my body would sweat and then shiver in undefined patterns.
I had no appetite, I didn’t want to drink any water and I lost a ton of gainz.
Now when I get food poisoning I just stop being a bitch and deal with it.
I drink several litres of water per day, I’ll solider through eating 4 meals a day and consume coconut water like a mother *****er.
No one cares that you got food poisoning and there’s little you can do about it when you get it other than eat and rest.
If you do decide to go into battle unprotected, many pharmacies will sell you the relevant tablet over the counter.
Use a website like WebMD to find out what tablet you need and you should be able to pick one up at pharmacies.
Cuts and bruises leading to infection
Thailand is not a sterile place where you can leave cuts unattended. If you cut yourself playing football, putting up a shelf (uwotm8?) or falling of a motorbike, you need to clean and bandage that up straight away.
Even the water you shower with may have bacteria that can seep into your cuts and get infected.
I usually buy 99% alcohol and rub that over my cuts (and anus for good measure) as soon they appear then tape them up with a plaster.
9 times out of 10 out of ten nothing will happen if you don’t do this, but it’s not worth the risk for when it does happen.
Get good health insurance
I’ve bought health insurance every year in Thailand and used it a total of zero times.
A lot of people debate whether they are scams or not and I agree that many aren’t worth the paper they are written on.
But the good ones cover you in time of need and saved my friend 35,000฿.
With drunk drivers on the road and the numerous horror stories of backpackers in hospital with no insurance, I strongly advise you get one.
Bupa Thailand offer some decent insurance deals for when you’re in Thailand only which are not that expensive.
What about you?
What do you do when you get sick in Thailand? Leave a comment below, and if there’s anything else you’d like me to blog about let me know in the comments.