Single Man’s Trap When Moving to Thailand

Thailand is a great place to live as a single (or married) guy. You can get gash by the hour from going out to Bangkok clubs or using dating sites like Thai Friendly.

However, over the years I’ve seen an incredible amount of friends and friends of friends that get sucked into the world of Thai girls and never recover.

If you’re thinking about moving here, you should read this article, and if you’ve lived here a while, you may already be in the trap.

Why we move to Thailand

Most of us who move to Bangkok permanently give up jobs and many ties back home to start fresh.

Many who read my site have the following ethos:

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The goal of coming to Bangkok for so many guys is to setup an online business and or self-improvement while enjoying everything Thailand has to offer.

I’ve known people who have come here and done exactly that, but I’ve also met dozens of people who failed miserably and ended up broke.

Many of them fall into the single man’s trap.

What is the Single Man’s Trap?

The single man’s trap is when you disregard your focus on building your own mini empire and instead focus on girls.

Before you call me a phaggot, hear me out.

There’s nothing wrong with meeting Thai girls on a regular basis if you’re getting shit done, and your life is moving in the right direction (more cash flow, huge gainz, learning new skills or meeting the right people to improve yourself).

I got mad respect for the playaz who do this and meet girls daily, but there’s just as many if not more who take the opposite route.

Instead of focusing on self-improvement, they spend hours upon hours on dating sites, day gaming at malls and clubs trying to pick up chicks.

Day after day after day.

Their focus isn’t self-improvement and their money dries up as they keep paying for dates and dinners with girls they won’t ever see again three weeks from now.

People who do this don’t really care about the girl they are dating, it’s an addiction that’s much more powerful than they know.

You may have fallen into the single man’s trap if you’ve done the following:

  • You spend more than 2 hours per day talking to Thai girls online
  • You receive a mini endorphin rush when your phone makes a sound that a girl has messaged or been matched with you
  • You check your Line and dating messages as soon as you wake up and before you go to bed
  • You’re excited to check your dating account messages after not checking for 4-5 hours
  • You flake on meeting your boys to meet a chick
  • You have 5 or more girls you talk to on a daily basis on Line/Whatsapp
  • You have no interest in what these girls say but talk to them hoping to sleep with them later
  • In the last 7 days you’ve spent more time in total talking to girls online than your real life friends
  • When you’re hanging with friends in a real life gathering you’re messaging girls constantly

When you get into this state, you’re merely chasing the dragon looking for your next hit, it becomes a grind with no real satisfaction or positive outcome.

Chasing Thai girls becomes more important than improving your own life situation and it literally consumes you.

This is happening to a lot of people right now.

Two types of guys who move to Thailand

There are two types of guys who come to Thailand and plan to live here in-definitely:

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The red line is the people who come to Thailand with the focus of self-improvement.

At the start they slide into the losing section but that is normal, they just landed in Bangkok and they are within their right to go full retard for the first week, month or even year depending on how much money they have.

But then they get their shit together and start hitting their life goals while meeting girls. This should be the goal for all of my readers.

The green group is who you want to avoid.

These are people who came to Thailand with an idea of achieving some goal but get side-tracked by Thai girls. For months (sometimes even years) they focus too much on attaining girls and enough on their life goals.

The next thing they know they are broke.

If you’re in your late 20s or early 30s it’s very dangerous to fall into the green group as you may never recover from it, and your overall quality of life can be damaged forever.

What do you think?

Have you ever fallen into this trap? I think most guys moving to Thailand do but the smart ones are able to recover (as shown in graph) and can enjoy the best of both worlds.

Next week I’ll talk about the other half of the battle, betas who find a girl too quickly and move in together in a toxic relationship.

pmc-afb

14 thoughts on “Single Man’s Trap When Moving to Thailand

  1. Jonno
    11 December, 2016 at 5:27 pm

    Good stuff. Very similar to Vietnam and a situation i once found myself in that took some effort to get out of. Times flies by in Asia and you don’t want to be that guy 6 years down the line broke wondering what happened…

  2. Pat
    12 December, 2016 at 6:57 pm

    I go for quality rather than quantity nowadays. I used to be the opposite though. I managed 4 shags in 4 different girls beds in the course of one day about 10yrs ago. My body felt drained, tired and cramped. I could hardly stand up.
    I fell asleep in a taxi and woke up 2hrs later where the driver had parked up with his mates and were trying to wake me. He said they were about to drive me to hospital they were so worried.

    I then vowed to clean up my act and promised to show girls more respect after that.

    It was around that time that I became a loser

  3. Uwot
    13 December, 2016 at 6:35 am

    Lol

    I spent about two years just banging my way through sea. First regular girls then hookers only.

    Got to a point where I’m completely burned out on one night flings… and I have zero interest in a relationship with a Thai

    Haven’t had sex in a cpl of months now and pretty much working all the time. Once i hit my financial goals I’ll get me a huwhite chick who I can actually have a conversation with.

    No idea if I’m winning or losing now

    1. 13 December, 2016 at 7:03 am

      Seems you’re somewhere in the middle brah.

  4. DamnHomie
    19 December, 2016 at 11:49 pm

    You are losing once you move to Thailand. #facts #runaway #fleetoasia

  5. heisenberg
    20 December, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    it’s funny, all of those guys claiming to be successful having an online business in thailand, the majority of them have a blog. thats not what i call a real business. there are hundreds of them selling the same bs sea pussy paradise shit. sooner or later their business will go down the toilet. guess what im an expat working for an international firm with good money and i spend time chasing girls.

    1. 21 December, 2016 at 3:54 am

      I don’t get your argument, so you’re saying it better to work 40+ hours a week for a boss than have a blog that makes just as much if not more than working 40 hours per week with no boss?

  6. Jim
    21 December, 2016 at 3:09 am

    Ok, this worries me. I retired young, and I’m comfortable. The last thing I want is to go to Thailand or the Philippines and the rest of SE Asia and go crazy. You mention how detrimental this is for someone in his 20’s and 30’s. For someone like me in his 50’s, it’s far worse. Instead of never having to work again in my life, I would be working till I died. See if I don’t do anything too stupid I’m set, but how do I protect myself from my own stupidity? I don’t have to worry about drugs. I wouldn’t spend the money and I’m not a real addictive personality. I can’t drink, and I worked way too hard and long to gamble it away. But attractive, young women? Sumbitch, they found my Kryptonite! And no, I’m not trying to be funny. The more I think about the more worried I get.

    I was going over soon for 10 years or so, now I’m thinking it might be safer to go for 6 months, then go home and take stock of what happened. If I find I can’t control myself stay away. And console myself with Tijuana every few months. Or maybe set a monthly budget in Bangkok and if I start blowing up spectacularly, bail.

    Thanks for a great article. It’s giving me a lot to think about. See I spent decades saving like hell, doing everything right so I could be at the place I am now. I don’t dare screw my life up now. So I’m going on this adventure but cautiously. Any tips on how to protect myself from myself would be appreciated.

    1. 21 December, 2016 at 3:59 am

      Hi Jim,

      If possible you should set a credit limit on your card so you can only take out X per month ensuring you never go overboard. The 2nd thing is to get good friends in Thailand who will put you straight if they see you going off the rails with a girl. The third and biggest one is when you move here don’t fall for a girl right away. Set yourself a restriction of not to have a girlfriend for the first year.

      This way you can learn more about Thailand, the girls and build more self control. Oh and finally, don’t have a bar girl as a girlfriend because they will end up taking all your money somehow.

      1. Jim
        21 December, 2016 at 2:29 pm

        Thanks Harvie:

        First, let me thank you for one of the best posts I’ve ever seen on SE Asia. For the past decade all my focus has been on working and saving so I can go over and live a life smothered in hot women. Stupid me. I didn’t consider how dangerous and addictive that life could be. The women in my life lately have been pudgy, bitter trolls who want a handyman not a lover. So your post made me realize just how vulnerable I am. I’ve read post after post from guys about men being “sponsors” or buying a girl a house or being drained financially and thrown away. And my reaction was always WTF? Now I see why. I’m not going to be that guy.

        I had planned on… hell thats the problem, I hadn’t planned. I read hundreds of trip reports and watched all these videos about the Thai nightlife and thought that was planning. No, that was masturbation. And it was setting me up to be one more stupid white man. Just another cautionary tale about the dangers of yellow fever.

        So… I have to change my goals. Instead of chasing hot women as the greatest adventure of my life I’m going to have an adventurous life with hot women as a PART of it. A life exploring the world. Getting my SCUBA certification, learning to sail, seeing breathtaking sites everyone else only sees pictures of. Trying the food of a thousand cultures and even learning to cook some of it. Because if I let the girls be the focus of my life I’ve given them all the power. And that would be a waste of the incredible possibilities before me.

        Thanks for the tips. I hadn’t even thought of how important friends, the right friends would be. Not so much as bar buddies but a support system and people to say, “uh Jim, you might not want jump off that roof with a rope tied around your dick.” And no girlfriend for a year and especially no bargirl as a girlfriend.

        You wrote an important article. Hey, if you saved one guy it was worthwhile.

        And, the guy you saved? Might have been me.

        1. 21 December, 2016 at 2:37 pm

          Thanks Jim, I enjoyed reading the 3rd paragraph the most, that is what life is all about enjoying everything life has to offer and not to focus or obsess on women only. Too many people forget that and are knee deep in girls, which don’t get me wrong is great but it’s not always sustainable if you want to live the ‘free man’s lifestyle’.

  7. Masterbate
    24 December, 2016 at 7:39 am

    If you really wanna make money, then stay in Europe, at least for now before hell breaks loose. If you are really into making money then get a job in UK, work on your online business on the side, live with your parents, save 90% of your income. Easy to save up 20.000 to 50.000 pounds a year or upwards. Once you saved up enough, take a one year sabbatical in Thailand, only working on your online business. Then repeat.

    1. 24 December, 2016 at 10:31 am

      That is a doubled edged sword as people who go with this plan never actually end up going.I personally think £10,000 is more than enough to leave if you have some sort of online income already.

  8. 20 February, 2017 at 5:23 pm

    I agree 100% Harvie. The first time I went, I loved everything about Bangkok and got zero work done. Luckily, I only spent 1 month or I would have gone completely broke.

    This time, I want to focus on my online businesses but get a part-time job so I’m not spending ALL my time socializing and chasing skirts.

    Plus, getting a part-time job can open up new opportunities to expose you to people on high social levels. It will also force you to learn the language faster and stop relying on everybody else to speak English.

    Once you get a small side job and learn the language, you can date any girl and enter any venue with confidence. Great article and reminds me about how I went to have fun and be productive at the same time.

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