How I’ve Turned into a Sukhumvit Snob

If you’ve followed my blog from the start you’ll know that I once lived in On Nut and Bangchak, areas you couldn’t pay me to visit nowadays.

When a friend tells me about a cool bar in Udong Smog or a new night club in Spahwian Kwaih I’m like:

how about no thanks

When most people think of Bangkok, this is what they see:

bangkok 1

When I think of Bangkok, this is what I see:

bangkok 2

Why I’d only live in Sukhumvit

The first three locations I lived at were:

  • Bangchak
  • On-nut
  • Lad prao

They are all fine locations but I’d never want to live there again, I wouldn’t even want to vist them again because of the traffic and time it takes geting back to the safe zone.

Safe zone: Sukhumvit 11 to Sukhumvit 67

If you go past Sukhumvit 67, you’ve gone too far (picture for reference below):

sukhumvit 67

Why do I think like this?

Is it because I’m a snob and love over paying for rent, food, drinks, bottles and gym memberships?

Yes, it’s exactly that.

I’d much rather pay 25,000b for a small 1 bedroom in the middle of Thong Lor, than the exact same price for a huge 2 bed in On Nut. You know why, because there isn’t sheeet in On Nut.

I’d much rather pay 22,000b for a yearly gym membership then join a similar gym in On Nut that only charges 9,000b per year. You know why, because there isn’t sheeet in On Nut.

Hola back at me when On Nut has its own Villa Market, mall and cinema complex.

I didn’t always think like this

when I first moved to Bangkok I had a pretty modest budget of around $1,000 per month, sometimes I spent even less.

I’m not Mr. Cash Money now either, as I only spend around $1,500~ per month, but I’ve got that fuck you I’m not going to Bearing or Bang Na money.

I can walk everywhere I need to be (I enjoy walking).

I think it’s fair to say that the best clubs are in lower Sukhumvit (and RCA which isn’t in my safe zone but I’ll make exceptions to go there).

The best bars are here.

All the top gyms to get your swole on are here.

The best restaurants are here.

There’s lots of coffee shops, western supermarkets and food delivery options here.

Enjoy ordering Foodpanda, paying extra for delivering and waiting 75mins for your food.

I’ll admit, I do sneak off to the Smoking Pug in Silom every now and again, Uber there and back though.

My friends who visit me every year stay in lower Sukhumvit and the last thing I want to do is travel miles to see them each day.

I don’t need to jump on the BTS and rub arms with about 50 people because I can walk or get a bike to all the spots.

Oh, and most of my expats friends live here.

“Bangkok is bigger than Lower Sukhumvit”

Not to me it isn’t.

I know the further you go away from Sukhumvit the more culture, sights and nuances you are exposed to, which for many is what makes living in Bangkok so great.

But I’ve lived here for 5 years now and ain’t nobody got time for dat anymore.

All I want is convenience and a Villa or Tops Market within 500 meters.

I need Food Panda to deliver my food in 25 minutes.

I don’t need to be 4 feet high in flood water during rainy season.

And I need to have 8 different malls that I’ll never visit or buy high-end designer clothes from within a 3-mile distance.

What do you think?

I wasn’t always like this mind you, when I lived in On Nut I used to think “look at all them morons paying 200b for a coffee” now I’ve become that moron.

What is your favorite area of Bangkok? If money wasn’t an option where would you like to stay?

PS: this article is 50% satire so don’t get upset.

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