The Handjob Experience – A Short Story

Chapter 1- The Tingle (1pm)

I feel a tingle go down the back of my head.

And my balls.

It’s getting worse.

I know what my body is telling me.

I send messages to all the girls I know in Bangkok.

None of them reply.

They must see me for who I truly am now.

What to do?

The tingle is piercing my entire body.

The room is spinning, or my head, or both.

YouPorn isn’t going to do it.

I manage to pull it together and take a shave, shower and make myself look reasonably presentable.

I wait until night then headout.

Chapter 2 – the voyage (7:32 pm)

As I leave the confines of the apartment, the Bangkok heat smacks me in the face with dust and I start coughing.

Maybe this is its way of telling me I’m a worthless piece of shit.

After hailing a motorbike taxi to get dropped off at Sukhumvit 55 (Thong Lor), I act natural and walk.

My body language was telling the world don’t mind me, I’m just a normal expat walking to his apartment after a hard’s days work and meetings.

But there was no normal expat.

There was no hard day’s work.

And there was no meeting.

Just a guy looking to get his next fix.

The first massage shop had women wearing official buttoned up massage uniforms, quite old, unattractive and looked like they all would give amazing Thai massages.

photo of welcome massage shop

Maybe for another day.

40 meters on and there’s another massage shop.

The girls here looked like they wouldn’t know what a massage was if given one.

And they don’t look too bad.

My radar is telling me to enter.

It’s reliable in these situations. 

I enter.

Chapter 3 – Rollercoaster (7:47pm)

I’m handed a laminated massage menu, and opt for 60-minutes of oil.

 Small talk is maid with the masseuse for the evening, Noi, who comes from a lovely village in the North.

She guides me up the stairway into a room with dim lights and several private booths.

 They are playing meditation music loud enough to drone out groans.

The stage is set.

Noi walks me to the booth.

She points to the towel on the bed and then my body, which I translated as “put on the towel you dumb prick”.

There’s barely enough room to turn around, never mind get changed.

Thoughts wonder through my head.

Should I put the towel on?

The towel goes on and the massage starts.

Five minutes and nothing. 

We talk a little to build up a rapport.

15 minutes and nothing.

Massage is average, and she hasn’t fired a single warning shot to the special area.

Maybe I’ve come to the wrong massage shop?

I knew I should have kept walking.

30 minutes and nothing.

Not a single graze.

My life could not be worse.

I’ve not enjoyed a single minute of this massage, and my the tingle is back.

40 minutes and nothing.

45 minutes and nothing.

I try to reassure myself mentally this is no big deal.

Should I ask her?

No that is too perverted.

But then.

Something extraordinary happens.

48 minutes and SOMETHING!

Noi innocently grazes the young man, chuckles and asks if the boy would like to take part in proceedings.

There is a God.

She says 500b, both parties agree and the consent forms are signed.

Finally, it’s time to enjoy the massage.

The rollercoaster starts.

There were highs and lows.

I never knew if the next drop would be my last.

Before I knew it, the ride had finished and I had gotten off.

Mostly on my stomach, and her shirt.

I didn’t even have time to catch my breath before another I was forced to go on another rollercoaster.

This poor girl, she must be traumatized.

What have I done?

She excuses herself for a moment to clean her hands and throw up.

I want to get off this ride.

But it doesn’t stop.

All I want to do is run home and curl up in a ball.

Finally, she comes and tells me our time is up.

My life is up.

Before I leave the room I hand her a 500b service fee.

The shame of handing it to her in front of other customers in the lobby is something I cannot deal with right.

She leads me down the never-ending corridor and down the stairs the stairs.

Legs feel heavy.

Everyone is looking at me.

Korean girl getting a foot massage.

The receptionist at the desk.

The other massage girls.

They can smell it.

They can see it in my face.

They know what really happened, my face screams GUILTY AS CHARGED!

I’m handed a tea which I don’t acknowledge, put on my trainers and power walk out.

The Bangkok heat hits my face again.

Now I know for sure it’s reminding me I’m a piece of shit.

I look both ways to make sure nobody I know just saw me, and then I drift back into the shadows.

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