The Rat Race (1 Year on)

Hey guys, this post will not be about Bangkok but just something about my life and where I am today.

 

It was time last year that I quit my job as a “procurement assistant”, and it’s the best thing I have ever done. The idea for me working the rest of my days doing a 9-5, in a cold grey office with people who annoyed the hell out of me was worse then death itself.  I had not even been in the rate race more than a year and already I want out!

I remember sometimes I would sit at my desk pretending to work but really id be on travel forums or emailing friends, and I couldn’t help but overhear the conversations in the office. Every one puts on these fake voices and pretends to be nice and have the meaningless of meaningless conversations when they pass by the printer. In my head I re-acted me ripping my keyboard off and smashing it over there f****ing heads repeatedly. However in reality I was just another dead soul, nodding and giving a fake smile when anyone came my way.

This would be me at work, trying not to lose it

The canteen was a wonderful place, were several people sat eating there cucumbers sandwiches or pot noodles, all crammed into this small space, but yet not a word is spoken between any of them for the next 45mintues. Some of these guys turned it into a real art to just ignore people like they were not even sitting next too them.

People labelled me a “weirdo” at work, every time I went into the canteen I would say hello to everyone and ask them how there day went. I used to get these looks back off them like I just asked to f*** there mother. To me it just felt a bit stupid and insane not to talk or at least say hello to these people who I would be spending my lunch break  with 5 days out of 7 for a whole year. Hell some of them I even worked with on daily basis!!

Everybody at my workplace was actually really busy working and helping the “company” strive to reach whatever goals they had, sadly for them I was too busy watching and observing everyone else, it was way more fun to me then actual work. I made it a habit to say “good morning” to all my team members, there were 7. I would do this every day, then once in a while I would not say hello to any of them, thinking maybe today will be the day someone says “hello” too me first. This never happened in the whole 15 months of working there. Only one person would say hello to me first, he was an apprentice at the time, so full of life, I can only assume he has been taken in and chewed up by the machine now.

Is it time yet?
I still remember the drive to work, seeing the same faces getting on the bus, the same children walking to school, the same cars franticly driving above the speed limit and horning at everyone to get out the. Which was ironic because as soon as they got to work all they would be thinking about is leaving and moaning about how much they hate being there, when the clock hits 5pm, they are the first ones out.

“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a placewhere essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” —Charles Bukowski

 
My office uniform

All that stress about making sure my work was done correctly, if you make a mistake some bo zo comes and has a go at you. I worked for a company whose job it was to make sure the companies they supplied have there uniforms ready and on time. I sometimes saw people on the customer service team crying because someone was having a rant at them for not being able to deliver something on time. I couldn’t take it seriously myself, on the grand scale on things, if someone from Tesco doesn’t get there blazer or pair or shoes on time, who really gives a flying f***? Is the world going to stop spinning on its axis and all life as we know it will end? I f****ing hope not.

Maybe I have got it wrong, maybe I should be a model employee, come in on time, work hard, stay with a company for 20 years, then the first second they don’t need me, they will fire me or make me redundant but I should still be happy, because they gave me a chance to work for them. I should work for a manger that earns millions and gives me a dime, pretty sure they don’t know my name or anything about me either, but thanks sir for giving me this chance.

Anyway I’m glad i am out of that place now, maybe this is why our parents are usually so grumpy, I’m sure when they were young like me they used to be more laid back and have fun, maybe working for all these years has done a number on them, and they have been beaten into submission now and forgot what it feel to be happy or to even have fun? I know one thing for sure, leaving was great for  my mind, body and soul. I used to get mad or angry at work now and again for the stupidest of reasons, all that is now gone, I also didn’t like some people at work, which I know see is crazy, because I dont really know any of them, I felt as it it was poisoning my mind somewhat. I also didn’t work in the best of workplaces so I guess that would have a impact on everything also. The last year of my life has been by far the best I ever had and I would change nothing, no regrets.

 



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