पश्चिमी/थाई रिश्तों के लिए सांस्कृतिक मार्गदर्शिका
इस विषय पर ऑनलाइन बहुत सारी जानकारी उपलब्ध है कहां मिलना है थाई लड़कियाँ और क्या कहें, लेकिन यह केवल सतह को खरोंचता है।
यदि आप इसे सिर्फ सेक्स से आगे ले जाने की योजना बना रहे हैं, तो आपको और अधिक जानने की आवश्यकता है।
इस लेख में मैं दूसरी संस्कृति की महिलाओं के साथ डेटिंग की सैद्धांतिक और व्यावहारिकता के बारे में बात करने जा रहा हूँ।
लक्षित दर्शककोई भी व्यक्ति जो जीवन साथी खोजने के इरादे से थाईलैंड जाने की योजना बना रहा है।
दक्षिण-पूर्व एशियाई दृष्टिकोण
जब थाई लोग 18 वर्ष के हो जाते हैं, तो बहुत कम लोग एक बंद कार्यालय में काम करने का सपना देखते हैं, या उस मामले में काम करने का सपना देखते हैं।
के सिवा सिंगापुर और मलेशियादक्षिण-पूर्व एशिया में कोई चूहा दौड़ संस्कृति नहीं है।
थाईलैंड में व्यवसाय आमतौर पर 30 से अधिक उम्र के लोगों को काम पर नहीं रखते क्योंकि उन्हें लगता है कि वे बहुत बूढ़ा और उन्हें उच्च वेतन देने की आवश्यकता है।
विश्वविद्यालय से डिग्री प्राप्त करने वाले व्यक्ति का औसत वेतन 10 घंटे काम करने पर प्रति माह लगभग $460 है।
करियर शुरू करने के बारे में किसी के मन में विचार नहीं है, क्योंकि यह सीढ़ी छोटी है और समृद्ध नहीं है।
चूंकि इसमें कोई अवसर नहीं है खुशी देने वाला व्यवसायथाई पुरुषों और महिलाओं के लिए जीवन का प्राथमिक लक्ष्य जीवनसाथी ढूंढना और परिवार शुरू करना है।
मैंने बैंकॉक में इतना ज़्यादा स्ट्रीट फ़ूड खाना क्यों बंद कर दिया?
थाई गर्ल विजिलेंट फेसबुक ग्रुप्स ने फरांग पुरुषों को निशाना बनाया
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अच्छा काम हार्वी, मेरी एक अद्भुत थाई गर्लफ्रेंड है, उसके पास संत जैसा धैर्य है। भाषा कभी-कभी बाधा बन जाती है क्योंकि मैं उसका पहला विदेशी प्रेमी हूँ लेकिन हम हमेशा अपने मतभेदों को सुलझा लेते हैं। अगर मुझे उसकी समझ और धैर्य मिलता तो मैं बहुत बेहतर इंसान होता।
एक क्षेत्र जो मुश्किल हो सकता है वह है हास्य...पश्चिमी हास्य और थाई लोगों के बीच मजाक की समझ में बहुत अंतर है। वह कुछ ऐसा कहेगी जिसे आप या मैं गंभीरता से लेंगे जबकि वह केवल मजाक कर रही है, अगर वह किसी मुद्दे का मजाक बनाने के बारे में स्पष्ट होती तो इससे अनावश्यक बातचीत शुरू हो जाती। इसमें समय लगेगा क्योंकि हम अपने रिश्ते में केवल 2 महीने ही हैं लेकिन हम धीरे-धीरे उस स्तर पर पहुंच रहे हैं और मेरा मानना है कि समय और कभी-कभी निराशा के क्षण इसके लायक हैं।
वे व्यंग्य को भी नहीं समझते, लेकिन एक-दूसरे को बेहतर ढंग से समझने के लिए आगे बढ़ने के लिए उस संवाद को खोलना महत्वपूर्ण है। उसे फ्रेंड्स देखने के लिए कहना मददगार साबित होता है :D.
यह वास्तव में एक बहुत ही रोचक लेख है। मैं मय थाई का प्रशिक्षण लेने के लिए कुछ अलग-अलग मौकों पर थाईलैंड गया हूँ। बैंकॉक की अपनी यात्राओं पर, मैं आमतौर पर थाई लड़कियों से मिला हूँ जो अंग्रेजी में धाराप्रवाह थीं। उनमें से कुछ काफी अमीर भी थीं। उनमें से एक के पास एक स्पोर्ट्स कार और समुद्र तट के किनारे एक विला है। इसलिए वह आर्थिक रूप से संपन्न थी और मैं सुरक्षित रूप से मान सकता था कि वह मेरी कंपनी की सराहना करती है न कि मेरे बटुए की :-P। मुझे लगता है कि यह जानने का एक सुरक्षित तरीका है कि एक लड़की सोने की खुदाई करने वाली नहीं है।
वैसे, इसका मतलब यह नहीं है कि एक गरीब लड़की भी सभ्य नहीं हो सकती, लेकिन जैसा कि आपने कहा, वह निश्चित रूप से कम स्वतंत्र होगी।
अंग्रेजी महत्वपूर्ण है। हालाँकि, आप नहीं चाहते कि वे अद्भुत 100% धाराप्रवाह अंग्रेजी बोलें या फिर आप नारीवादी थाई लड़कियों से टकराना शुरू कर दें क्योंकि अंग्रेजी सीखने के लिए भारी पश्चिमी प्रभाव की आवश्यकता होती है। मैं व्यक्तिगत रूप से सभ्य अंग्रेजी के लिए जाता हूं, लेकिन कुछ भी बहुत जटिल नहीं। मुझे लगता है कि अगर हम डेटिंग शुरू करते हैं तो वे अंग्रेजी सीखेंगे।
धोखा देने के बारे में: आम तौर पर लड़कियाँ इस बात की परवाह नहीं करतीं कि आप धोखा देते हैं, जब तक कि उनके पास कोई विकल्प न हो। SEA में, कोई भी SEA लड़का तलाकशुदा लड़की (खासकर 25 या उससे ज़्यादा) के साथ डेट नहीं करना चाहता, इसलिए वे एक तरह से फंस जाते हैं। एंग्लोस्फीयर में महिलाओं को 50% मिलता है और वे पुरुषों को उनके गंदे गधे के पंजे चूसने के लिए मजबूर कर देती हैं, इसलिए वे अपने पति को 50% पाने के लिए धोखा देने के लिए प्रोत्साहित करती हैं।
सामान के भुगतान पर: जब हम बाहर जाते हैं तो मैं (लगभग) हमेशा हर चीज का भुगतान करता हूं, लेकिन मैं गरीब विश्वविद्यालय के छात्रों के साथ डेट करता हूं; हालांकि कोई भत्ता या कुछ भी नहीं। उन्हें ग्रैब मनी (जैसे 50 सेंट) दें।
जो लोग किसी भी चीज़ के लिए पैसे देने से मना करते हैं (रूशवी पर ज़्यादातर लोग) मुझे बहुत परेशान करते हैं। वे हमेशा एंग्लोस्फीयर में नारीवादियों के बारे में शिकायत करते हैं, फिर भी वे चाहते हैं कि गरीब लड़कियाँ जब भी बाहर जाएँ तो 50% (सचमुच कुछ डॉलर) का भुगतान करें।
आप एक ही समय में केक नहीं रख सकते और उसे खा भी नहीं सकते।
एशिया में अपने पूरे प्रवास के दौरान मैं कभी भी किसी नारीवादी थाई लड़की से नहीं मिला।
मैं थोंग लोर के आसपास कुछ लोगों से मिला हूं।
या तो पश्चिम में शिक्षित हिसो पृष्ठभूमि वाले नरम 5s या पश्चिमी लोगों द्वारा पंप और डंप किए गए।
आप उनके चेहरों पर दूर से ही उनके बुरे व्यवहार को देख सकते हैं।
(मेरी टिप्पणी आपके उत्तर से अधिक सामान्यतः अंग्रेजी कौशल के बारे में है)
अच्छी अंग्रेजी बोलने वाली लड़कियों के साथ असली समस्या यह नहीं है कि वे इसे अच्छी तरह से बोलती हैं, बल्कि यह है कि वे समझती हैं कि बेवकूफ विदेशी क्या कह रहे हैं। इसे स्वीकार करें दोस्तों, एशिया में बहुत से फारंग बैठते हैं और लड़कियों के कानों को शुद्ध बकवास से भर देते हैं, कुछ घबराहट के कारण और अन्य क्योंकि वे चूत से इतना डरते हैं कि वे बहुत गंभीर होने का दिखावा करते हैं और केवल एक वास्तविक संबंध चाहते हैं और इसका परिणाम नकारात्मक मोड़ के साथ मुंह से दस्त होता है।
अगर यह यहीं रुक जाता, तो ठीक होता, लेकिन ऐसा नहीं होता! अब फरांग लड़कियों का अपमान करना शुरू कर देते हैं जैसे "ओह, आपने रंगीन कॉन्टैक्ट लेंस क्यों लगाए हैं, इसके बिना बेहतर है और ब्ला ब्ला ब्ला", यह पहले से ही एक लड़की के लिए रुचि खोने के लिए पर्याप्त है, लेकिन फिर भी फरांग इसे आराम नहीं देगा, और उसके संगीत के स्वाद का अपमान करना शुरू कर देगा जैसे "आप उस कोरियाई बकवास को कैसे सुन सकते हैं, मुझे समझ में नहीं आता, यह वास्तविक संगीत नहीं है, यह बहुत बेवकूफी है" और फिर वे उन्हें वास्तविक संगीत में "शिक्षित" करने का प्रयास करते हैं, जैसे कि वे कभी विली नेल्सन या आयरन मेडेन से प्यार करेंगे, ओह हां... यदि आपके पास संगीत में एक ही स्वाद है, तो यह आपके रिश्ते को कैसे बेहतर बनाएगा?
मेरी एक बहुत ही सुंदर दोस्त है जिसके दांत बहुत सफ़ेद और प्राकृतिक हैं, वह इसलिए नाराज़ थी क्योंकि उसके सफ़ेद दोस्त ने उसे इस बारे में व्याख्यान दिया था कि उसके दांतों को कैसे संरेखित किया जा सकता है और ऐसा करने में कितना खर्च आएगा, जबकि वह जहाँ से आया था, वहाँ वह दंत चिकित्सक भी नहीं था। अगर वह उसकी बात नहीं समझती तो वे बहुत बेहतर तरीके से साथ रह सकते थे। और उसे संरेखण की बिल्कुल भी ज़रूरत नहीं है, इसलिए बहुत ही स्वाभाविक मुस्कान है।
...और ये तो बस कुछ कहानियाँ हैं जो लड़कियाँ विदेशियों के साथ अपने बुरे अनुभवों के बारे में बताती हैं। एक लौटता हुआ विषय यह है कि अमेरिकी युवा लड़कियों से डरते हैं, अब अगर वे ऐसा महसूस करते हैं तो यह उनकी पसंद है लेकिन उन्हें लड़कियों के कानों में यह क्यों चिल्लाना पड़ता है कि "तुम बहुत छोटी हो, मुझे परिपक्व लोगों की ज़रूरत है जिनसे मैं बात कर सकूँ"? अस्वीकृति के अलावा यह उनकी बुद्धिमत्ता का अपमान भी है।
और हां, IKEA और वोल्वो बुरे विषय हैं, किसी को परवाह नहीं है, न एशिया में और न ही पश्चिमी दुनिया में, सार्वभौमिक भाषा में इसे बेवकूफ होना कहा जाता है।
अगर लड़की अच्छी अंग्रेजी बोलती है तो खुश हो जाओ, बस कम बोलो और तुम ठीक हो जाओगे। अगली बार जब तुम इतने भाग्यशाली हो कि KPOP पसंद करने वाली कोई स्मार्ट लड़की मिले तो नकारात्मक मत बनो बल्कि कहो “मुझे लिसा मनोबन पसंद है, बहुत सुंदर है, तुम्हारी तरह”। थोड़ी सी सकारात्मकता ने कभी किसी के अवसरों को नुकसान नहीं पहुँचाया है।
@प्लॉफ़
बहुत बढ़िया बातें कही हैं। मैंने आपके द्वारा कही गई बातों से मिलती-जुलती कई बातचीत सुनी हैं।
मैंने एक और उबाऊ फरांग ड्रोन सुना जो अपनी लड़की को बता रहा था कि गोरी त्वचा कितनी नस्लवादी है और सांवली त्वचा अधिक स्वस्थ है।
मैंने उसे लगभग यह मांग करते हुए सुना कि उसे इस बारे में अपनी सोच बदलनी होगी अन्यथा वह "जीवन में आगे नहीं बढ़ पाएगी"...हाँ ठीक है, जैसे कि वह एक तीसरी दुनिया के देश में स्थानांतरित हो गया है जहाँ उसके पास कोई अधिकार नहीं है, वह मूल निवासियों के लिए हास्य का विषय है और एक टेफ्लिंग अजरन के रूप में काम करता है, जो अपने देश में मिलने वाली बेरोजगारी के बराबर कमाता है।
And with his jiggling man boobs and pasty white legs he’ll soon need medical insurance to fund his stay in the diabetes ward.
Of course she won’t argue, just smile through gritted teeth until she can escape. Another American putting the world to rights eh
..who needs ’em
There are exceptions of course, but l’ve overheard any others in Swensens like that idiot
Having a dialogue about these things can be really good. For example in the West, brown = sexy where here pasty white skin = sexy. Talking about this is fine but demanding or changing the girl to believe your way of thinking is not. Regardless of where the girl is from, you should not want change them but accept them. My next blog will touch on this.
I wouldn’t even listen to what a woman says they find attractive. They all say they want a nice guy that doesn’t insult them and we know how that turns out.
I agree that the lack of advanced English is great for more inexperienced guys though. Less opportunity to say something stupid and the girl won’t bitch at you as much.
Volvo, Ikea … Are you Swede?
Good post mate.
I have a question. If cheating is so common in Thailand, which it does seem to be, what does that tell us about the quality of relationships?
I think this is rather an important thing right?
We see so many single mothers too. Maybe it is that thai girls take relationships very seriously, but then again, a whole lot of them seem to end badly either the guy getting them pregnant and splitting or them getting cheated on every friday when boyfriend is at the karaoke club.
Why do thai girls then jump so quickly into relationships? Is this what you’re saying about the whole friends, job, family thing? That a relationship is basically the most interesting, fun, meaningful thing going on in their life outside family?
I quite enjoyed this about thai girls, that they seemed to be able to get really into a relationship/love/sex even if they had been in a bad one before, where western girls often seem like they got PTSD (seriously) after a bad breakup. For some reason, most thai women, seem to roll with the punches more. They cry and scream but eventually get over it and ready to try again.
Do you have any comment on that?
Guys cheat the most because it’s so easy for them either paying or going online. The only girls I’ve seen cheating are the party girls/bar-girls who just want to make $$$.
I think girls getting over stuff may have to do with their religion, they just seem to forgive and forget a lot quicker in general. Yes they do fall in love a lot faster, I think because they put more mental commitment into the relationship
Whilst I agree with the cheating issues, (I know you have advised me before Harv for which I will take on the chin and thank’s it’s nice to know the thing’s I know already but just appreciate the confirmation) I don’t cheat but my girlfriend once said to me quoting “you can have but I don’t want to know!”…most of what you say in your blog’s and I read the comment’s with great interest, I understand and respect completely that you can’t speak for everyone and every Thai Woman, generally I guess with Thai culture you are talking on average or overall because there has been no mention of age difference, and of course the culture/attitude of Thai women can vary some of which can depend on what part of Thailand they’re from, and AGE makes a big difference and in general, just suppose a westerner meets a western woman and start a relationship with a 20 year or “more” age gap I guess is an average in Thailand assuming the girl is the youngest (I like to emphasise the word more), would she completely understand the sarcasm or humour between you both in western culture…creating a better “conversation” between you maybe?
This article is about normal Thai girls who are not working in the bar scene. Age group is 18-35 and I had to generalize a lot because there are variations to everything. This is just a guide, a path to give you an idea of what things are like, but each aspect has many variations.
Usually the bigger the age gap the less you have in common. You will also be from two different generations which makes things harder.
Hi Harvie, there are many variations of course but speaking from my own experience, My brother lived near Bangkok for 5.5 years and married a Thai much younger than himself, he had to leave for work reasons being promoted to head office in San Diego, for the American co he was working for in Thailand, the marriage didn’t last long as he caught her with a guy in there bed in a Las Vegas hotel.
Another good friend of mine married 2008 to a Thai lady in Thailand much younger than himself to which I was best man, they moved to the UK and are still happily married living in Northamptonshire with 3 children, Another good friend of mine lives in Bangkok and has been married to a Thai lady now for 11 years, have two lovely kids, there marriage is NOT great by any standards but still together, he is 66 and she now is 38, I see them regular every time I go back. I will be seeing them in a couple of weeks when I return. I could go on but I gues you have an idea on my Thai experiences, ever since my 1st visit in 1995 so I’m not new to this. thanks for the reply Harv
Thanks for the comments Roger, good to see people are making it work.
Spot on about long distance relationships, as tragic as it sounds, it’s a waste of time.
Cheers mate just signed up ,heading to Phillipines soon I’ll keep yr advice close
I wouldnt advice you to live by these guidelines, not in TH and esp not in PH, theyre subjective at best and has a serious amount of generalisations. “The 20%” recommended girls in this post are the ones to stay away from in Philippines, they will drag you to boring places with lots of chaperons (friends who are there for a free ride, paid by you) and a boring guy named Bernhard or whatever who will be appointed to be your bestfriend and companion. Bernhard never had a girlfriend and will do his best to bore you, i see foreigners and their Bernhard everywhere i go where there are many foreigners. Been subjected to Bernhards myself but i dont mind being rude if i have to take back control of a situation, but most of all i dont accept to pay for joyrides and resorts for friends of girlfriends in the first place. I dont date 20%’ers anymore, its no problem to find girls after 1AM who want to get serious, way less BS with those.
In Philippines its crucial to stay away from single mothers if you want relationships, and dont make the mistake of thinking older is better and more “mature and nice to talk to”, theyre damaged goods and even if they marry you they will still be true to the father of their child in their heart. Most foreigners cant understand the language so they will not notice that their filipina wife talk about a different husband when she talk with other filipina, the foreigner she will refer to as hubby or some other degrading name, just so all filipinos will understand that she is a real filipina and she belong to a filipino. Later this foreigner will join the club of foreigners who want to tell you about his beautiful filipina wife and then show you a photo of a mediocre-to-ugly somewhat old filipina, you dont want to join that club.
Anyway, i guess you need to make your own mistakes, its one of the primary traits of males; the inability to learn from other peoples mistakes.
By the 20%, I don’t mean the hi-so or rich girls who spend their parents money, I mean hard-working Thai girls with good English. The quality of girls you meet after 2am for a life partner is poor, most of them just want to have fun and party, and the women pool after 2am is also infested with freelancers and gold diggers. Guys are much more likely to find a bad girlfriend and lose a lot of money than to find a wife at that hour. I’m not saying don’t date the girls who are out at 2am (you should), they are just less desirable as a life partner as they seek different things to you.
Thats the kind if girls i mean. Usually Lower middle class, college student or low income job. In PH they are mostly terrible, some are not virgin and can be fun but still have some of the usual vices. Very demanding to boyfriends, highly unrealistic relationship expectations.
As for life partner, a bargirl or freelancer in say Angeles is just a working girl too but usually from a poorer background, the only real difference is that they are nicer and dont have those twisted relationship expectations. I cant find any significant difference between such girls and regular girls from the poorer parts of southern metro manila, and a bargirl earn her own money, nice advantage.
Lets just be honest enough to admit that guys who dont want Phil bargirls end up supporting some kid and then start showing photos of old mediocre ladies and shouting “isnt she beautiful!?!?” while in fact shes nearly as old as the mothers of my female friends.
I think your opinion has some value in TH, but SE Asia nah… Both in Phil and Hong Kong the highclass girls are often among the nicest, what you view as HiSo in TH is probably what Filipinos call Social Climbers, whom are horrible.
We should add that most guys go for low hanging fruit (girls they meet online or bars/clubs) which aren’t the best girls to meet as they will often fit into one of the segments you mentioned. It’s better not to look for a girl and just go on with normal life and you’ll meet one organically. By activating looking and the inability to speak Thai, westerns almost always look in the worst places.
It’s 2018 and we still need to mention how it’s a bad idea to marry a bar girl when there’s ample information online on all the horror stories, yet people still do it.
I’ve been to PH 4 times but not spent enough time to know how it works there, but a friend said that high-class girls in Manila (while boring) are quite down to earth. PH is much more welcoming to western culture than Thailand, hence their level of English and religion.
Yeah i met my share of fake manipulating bargirls in PH, and they cannot always be filtered out at first sight. What the bad ones do have in common is being “single” mothers and usually age 23-24 and up. The last one that fit the description was very nice at first, we went to mall, bought a nice tshirt for her, dinner and starbucks, she hold my hand and we had nice conversations, before we had sex. She didnt complain at all when i gave her just a small amount before dropping her off near her place after a nearly perfect date. So far. Took a few days before i saw her true colors, when i refused to give her money for some “problems”. And thats the problem right there, inexperienced guys will give them money so they stay sweet, they are stupid enough to believe that her child will starve and possibly die if you dont give money for imaginary medicine, vitamins and milk. As long as the money keep coming they will never show their true colors.
Im currently having a longer “non-GF” relationship with a younger bargirl with no kids, she dont need any money from me and keep messaging me and flooding me with her selfies on a daily basis, nice caring and a great girl. Had similar female bestfriends before, without any money issues. Very good GF material.
Thais are essentially always on the look out for sugar daddies at all times as remaining independent isn’t really worth it to them with the shitty salaries, long working hours and 6 day work weeks.
Those who aren’t are way out of your league unless you have local cred (as in working as a hotel / f&b manager and thais can vouch for you etc.).
The only reason she will consider you as a foreigner to begin with and take up the mia falang stigma upon herself is because she considers white guys to be the better potential sugar daddies. Whatever else she feeds you is bullshit unless she had seriously bad experiences with a bunch of thai guys, but if she isn’t a hooker from the rice paddies (equivalent to white trash from back home) that is unlikely, as middle class and above girls are generally quite sheltered by their parents, protect their reputation and don’t tend to fuck around without probable serious commitment.
Unless you see yourself as a sugar daddy it’s just not worth it and banging hookers is much more straight forward and largely cheaper in the long run.
Thais are not always on the lookout for sugar daddies, girls you meet in clubs and bars are yes. From your last paragraph it seems you’re talking about hookers, which should never be made girlfriends.
Also, I’ll be the obligatory story about long-distance relationships. I “dated” (just a FWB) a 27 y/o Vietnamese girl that had a long distance relationship with a guy from India. Dude gave this girl about $2k/month, bought her a MacBook, paid for her nice apartment, and flew to Saigon about once every 3 months.
Girl was the biggest skank. Talked about her BF’s small penis and fucked guys she met on Tinder on the reg. Not a low class girls either. Came from a middle class family (dad had a car), had a pretty decent office job and degree, and spoke great English.
Don’t do long-distance relationships in SEA.
I am a Gen X. We learned from the Baby Boomers how to value SEA for “spicy seafood, hookers and blow” – but dont do drugs, threre are better ways to embrace a hedonistic and openminded lifestyle.
In theory this article and feedback provide good insight. Of course one should seek a partner who can take of her self, speaks good english and is educated. Everything else spells disaster. But dont hurry. Why should a 20-something (or a guy who just turned 30) settle down? Experirence stuff, do bad things, try do date ladyboys if its your thing (not my cup of tea though), dont commit to early. Honour the legacy of the late Anthony Bourdain. Take risks. Go outside your comfort zone. Life is short. I am a doctor but have lived an “interesting” life. Its so sad to meet old friends in there 50-th who to late in life search for tools to get things to remember outside of what is expected from them, from an evironment clearly bored to hell.
Good advice. Just don’t leave it too late :).
Most amusing are the vagina-whipped farang who are trying and failing to “educate” their skank rentahoes that money does not equal real love and how love matters more. The poor girls can’t escape these barstool philosophers fast enough.
This normally translates into “l’m a desperate old whore chaser with no savings who expects free sex”
This species of farang will always somehow bend a conversation round to tell you his skanky tramp hoe is different and pays her way by buying dinner*
*Dinner as in a bowl of rice noodles in warm sewage water with brown cubes of pigs blood, in a filthy soi near her bar.
If that floats your boat, fine. But that boat will sink faster than ten kittens in a bag of rocks.
Yes bar girls should be avoided at ALL costs. If you date one know that she is only there until your money goes.
I think the best girls for a long-term partner are working class girls who work and have a decent income. I would say in Thailand anything over $1,000 per month is a good income. Since all westerns who come to Bangkok are working class too, I think that’s the best fit.
The so called “middle-class girls” may have money but they are not independent, they use their parents money and have very little personality or desire to do anything. They are the same as rich white kids who drive lambos in the west.
Yes I am generalizing (how can you not when talking on such a topic) and I’m sure there middle-class girls who are not like that, but they are the exception.
From my limited experience, I would advise you to be very suspicious of the types who have numerous male farang friends. I don’t mean whores but regular girls. They will tell you they are ‘jus friend’ but don’t buy it, even if they are.
It’s the farang friends you should mistrust more than her. Too many look at and talk to Thai girls like they are all fair game.
She will cheat with these farang friends, more likely because he would have instigated it.
After all, even if they are ‘jus friends’ and they meet up, what do you think they talk about? Politics? Stephen Hawking theories? Disadvantages of Brexit?
Even more hellish is this scenario if you are 6000 miles away clinging to your long distance relationship
Yes nice tip. A good way to know is when you add them on Facebook or IG, if they have dozens of western friends, it should be a red flag that the girl is not ready to settle down yet.
Every farang guy is trying to sleep with every Thai girl they talk to, regardless of if they have a boyfriend or not.
^ And the girl will persist and tell him it’s all ok and not to worry.
I usually check their facebook, instagram and Line feed, to see what kind of guys are liking their pics and what kind of comments they are adding. Many will inevitably include some kind of sexual innuendo and/or love heart sticker.
Beware. That sneaky farang is only a few private chats from a date. He can’t help himself.
Sometimes the girls are innocent and naiive/stupid enough to believe he does just want to see the grand palace and jim thompsons house, until of course he gets her to a bar or beer garden first.
If that farang is abroad and likely to visit Thailand soon, it won’t be too difficult to find clues in comments.
And let’s be honest, a percentage of Thai girls are easy to get into bed.
After that, the comedy of her lying attempts are quite easy to detect, and some ridiculous story of losing phones (impossible for a thai as it’s normally glued to their hand) or working late will easily be accepted by Johnny Teerak Farang who is still saving up to visit in 3 months.
As the Doobie Brothers said in the 1979 song…
“What a fool believes, he sees”
What you say Pat and Harvie is so true and ring’s so many bells, just about every comment you’ve made I read is not all justified in my case but hilarious to say the least, keep up the good work chap’s…
I forsee the future of the sick buffalo scam. Many blokes obviouly still fall for it.
In 2038 an updated version of this tale will be something like “my robot buffalo needs a new circuit board and transformer…can u help me daaling, lubb you long time l plomiss”
And so it continues…there are thousands of farang queing up at passport control daily, desperate to experience this….
Broadly agree with most of this with biggest emphasis on being able to actually communicate to a high level with them, in English. Even if you speak Thai to a high level it’s still important to be able to converse with them in your own language well on a day to day basis as well as theirs. Ever see a guy or girl who’s been living in a foreign country and not conversed in their own language for some time (this isn’t so big a thing what with the interwebs these days) when they meet a compatriot in a bar or somewhere unexpectedly? They babble away at each other non-stop. Being able to shoot the shit on day to day basis with your girlfriend is as important as being able to discuss the more important things.
Harvie mentioned sarcasm and this is the acid test of a Thai girl really understanding hunour and Western, well mainly British personality’s imo. Its also a good indicator that if they do get sarcasm then they have been around Western guys a great deal already.
I disagree about the going Dutch thing though, quite a few low-middle, middle, and higher-middle class Thai girls I’ve dated have offered to pay their way in one form or another. Them paying for dessert as mentioned is a popular one and I find if they suggest where to eat/drink they will often pay half the bill. You can tell pretty often…if they suggest a noodle type restaurant at a mall then there is a good chance they will chip in without being asked…if they suggest Gaucho or Vertigo then unless they’re pretty moneyed up you’ll be paying 100%. Another arrangement that I find common is you pay for the bigger things like dinners out, nights out/drinks, little trips away and they get all the smaller ones like coffee and cakes, cinema tickets, pick up the Villa Market bill if you’re eating/drinking in (except then it’s usually Foodland) and that sort of thing. For FL’s/BG’s then fully agree you’ll be paying for everything always in most cases even if you start “dating”.
A good thing to do at the start of a relationship is find out/go through all the absolute utter crap they spend/waste money on in a month, it often adds up to a few K Baht. If you can get them to see that and agree with you on it then that is a great outcome as you’ve really done nothing but they suddenly have a nice chunk of change extra/spare to spend on themselves. Getting them to give you the money they’re not wasting on whatever everyday and then give it all back to them at end of the month is a good one, even if it’s just 2-3k.
Good comments Nate.
Feminine or feminis? Thaigirls are transactional and calculating. Being feminine is a better tool to achieve success than adopting feminist views. At least for now. But it could and probably will change.
Where do you think can be a good place to meet a independent wealthy Thai girl? Like the Victoria secret in Siam Paragon, near a car parking lot,near the Embassy of an European country ?
Are you trolling because you’re doing a great job if so.
Not really. Finding a Wealthy Thai girl in public is not easy. Will it be helpful, if you mention some other places to find them.
Oh, if you went to a car parking lot of a Euro Embassy you would come across as a stalker, the same if you went to a women’s underwear shop, hence the are you joking. If you want to meet wealthy Thai girls you need to network and have roots in Bangkok. As an expat that is hard, so focus on making meaningful relationships with the right people.
Wealthy does not mean good. You’d want a hard working girl on a good salary, again the best places to meet these girls are organically, not by picking them up at malls.
Spot on. Seriously wealthy girls will also only usually date seriously wealthy guys, seriously wealthy Thai girls will only date very very wealthy guys who aren’t Thai or at least the right kind of Asian unless you are a 10/10 Brad Pitt clone (and then you’d just be a bit of fun) or can somehow help them to gain face (unlikely) or advance their life/career in some way and be completely acceptable without question in their social and family circles (again unlikely). Can you (Khun Thomas) treat and keep a really wealthy Thai girl in the manner (and manor you could say) as to which she has been accustomed to her whole life and expects as normal, every day? I’ve dated middle and higher middle class Thai girls who’s family aren’t short of a few Baht; they’ve studied in the UK and US at proper schools and Uni’s, family has own business usually, girl has their own newish decent car albeit on lease/finance (think Mini/ CHR/CRV/CX-5 kinda thing) but these aren’t really seriously wealthy, they aren’t swinging Birkins and debating which Manolo’s to wear out with you. Only one of them I met in a set-up/planned kinda way, through TF years ago in 2011 I think when you could still find a few like that on there.
@Thomas
Most wealthy Thais will suss out the farang losers as whore chasers pretty much immedietely.
If anywhere, you’d have more chance in your home country meeting a wealthy Thai bird up for a ‘bit of rough’
Just follow them home, then knock on her door holding a stack of take away menus for a Thai restaurant. That might get your foot in the door, as they say.
Whatever you do, DO NOT say you went to Pattaya for 2 weeks a decade ago.