タイでの色あせた生活とその対処法
It’s official: I’m a jaded Bangkok expat.
It’s impossible to live in a city like Bangkok and not become jaded at some point.
This year I have been blogging more about the negatives of living in Bangkok. I am not doing this because I hate Thailand (it’s my #1 favorite country).
I am doing it because it’s therapeutic for me to write down my experiences, and this blog is my personal diary.
I hope my rambling can act as signposts for others in Thailand and those of who you’re considering the move to the continent, as much of what I write can translate to other Asian cities.
A small percentage of my audience reject the negative experiences I write about saying I’m talking rubbish and it’s only because I’m a washed up sexpat.
Before I talk about my story of being jaded in Thailand, let me tell you a little about the man behind the keyboard.
I have the best long-stay visa in Thailand.
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You think you’re jaded? Oh man.
A good few Thai apologists are simply trapped in Thailand and have zero choice but to suck it up. You see those awfully dressed english teacher types on the bts who have never owned shoe polish or an iron? They sport ill fitting pants and short sleeved shirts? Those types are most likely the low end who can’t get it together to save up and go home. They really want to deep inside but can’t.
Ever seen photos of the kinds of places where the jaded low end top themselves? It’s a grim reality that most can’t identify with. Tbe huge number of suicidal farangs in Thailand is a clue.
Why? I hear you ask? The usual reasons, sadly. Fell for a girl who dumped them or screwed them for cash. How can these seemingly innocent sweet smiling lovelies switch?
This is just a small example. It’s vital to get back home a few times a year to get back to reality, civilisation, rule of law, complain and be listened to, be able to cross the road, not witness this insane worship of the rich and white skinned, etc etc. Thailand really can be hell. Even worse if it’s Bangkok. Pattaya is hell at the best of times. Many are trapped tbere too. Must be torturous.
Live without the option of a break gets old fast, man. Spare a thought for these losers. They live in a bubble of cheap booze, low wages, renting rooms in horrible locations and the wrong girlfriends.
They go on about how they feel accepted and how the west has gone to pot. They go on about how cheap street food is and how locations like (example) Huay Kwang or Victory Monument are ‘up and coming’
They call it paradise. They say stuff like “this would never happen in the west” and laugh off crap like getting overcharged and the general piss poor local way of doing things. 90% are alcoholics. One of their favourite sayings is “you should leave if you can’t handle it” or “that must have happened to you” if you dare to disagree on any online forums.
Thai Visa dot com is packed with these losers all trying to outdo eachothers delusions and getting hostile and aggresive if anyone questions them. Half the mods there are the same losers to. Disagree and they ban you for a thousand years. That’s no bad thing trust me.
Life is tough and it takes character and nerves of steel to get through it at the best of times in Bangkok.
Spare a thought for the low enders. Back home they’d be asking you for spare change but here they feel like they are living a dream.
Still jaded Harvie? How about starting a charity for these loonies?
lol, okay now I don’t feel so jaded when you put it like that, but yes that can end up to many people. This is why I think it’s important to have some connections back home, they are usually the best chance of saving you from this happening.
You are not old enough to be jaded, you sound more bored than anything. Why did you come to Asia? To do all the same things you did back home, only cheaper? Or did you come to learn about the history of Thailand/Siam/IndoChina? About the trees, animals, fish, birds, and flowers? That’s what any country is; not what’s available in the cities. Cities are the same anywhere in the world: noisy, dirty, crowded, dangerous, vectors for disease, and most of all, expensive. I suggest volunteering in an orphanage or starting a soup kitchen for the street kids.
Good comment Joseph. I’m currently having a huge urge for travel actually, which I never had in the last 2-4 years.
He came for the same reasons all western farangs do. For the cheap girls and the cheap living. To feel way more important since he never got the same attention in his home country. Did he learn the language or even bother trying? NO. Did he try to learn their values and culture, Nope! Like all farangs, he didn’t feel valued or respected in his country. All farangs are this person, but will NEVER admit it. World would be a better place without liars
Why not try another location in Thailand for a set period of time to compare. You never know you might be surprised.
That is my plan. I was thinking of starting to do 3 months in Japan, easy visa requirements and a little less chaos if I go outside of Tokyo.
Taiwan is also a good option. It’s like a 1st world version of Bangkok with much friendlier people. Same weather as Bangkok too.
I really like Taiwan, much slower pace of life and good sidewalks. Street food is so cheap too!
I think everyone gets jaded no matter where they move assuming it’s a big enough culture or climate clash. Southeast Asia is probably the worst because people mentally build it up to something that it’s not before moving here. Once that false reality is shattered, then you turn into one of those guys wearing shorts, a tank top, and drinking Chang at 2PM while complaining to other expats in the bar. We all know the type.
I tempered my expectations of Vietnam a bit before moving here and it’s worked fine so far. My low will probably be less than most because my high was less than most.
The soft reset sounds like a good option, probably do one later this year to Hawaii or Europe as I can already feel myself beginning to get a little jaded. Sucks that my hometown is 40 hours of flights and layovers though.
Yes it really sucks for Americans when flying back. You should consider Australia for 1-2 months instead of flying back. It’s a western culture with easy direct back to Asia.
Completely forgot about Australia lol. Thanks for the tip.
Bangkok would have me Jaded too. Couldn’t imagine living somewhere so chaotic hey.
Jadedness is imo mostly about not having a clear understanding of what you want from life or who you are. If you know that being a degenerate in Thailand is the best you can do in life, then you wouldn’t feel jaded. What you’re describing sounds more like you’ve “grown up” somewhat in Thailand, now you’re Mr. Goody Two Shoes, but you don’t feel Thailand rewards you for being a proper human being. Nope, instead you feel Thailand punishes you. You are still being treated and expected to be a degen expat.
Thus, move back home if you want to “feel belong” or move to to Singapore/Hong Kong/Shanghai if you don’t mind being that rootless expat.
If you want to stay in Thailand and continue to be a decent human being, then you would probably get married, have a half-caste kid and find a whole new set of experiences and challenges.
The degen part is true, but I do think Thailand benefits you for being good if you have an online business, because you can enjoy everything else it has to offer and save good $$ to travel often. I don’t think the cities you listed are for me long-term, maybe Japan though (not Tokyo).
Agree on Thailand being good for online biz, I could live there only for that.
I if I wasn’t a fuckup, here is what I would do.
I would network and make friends with other online entrepreneurs of various kinds, successful ones that travel. That would mean you could have a group of people you know around the world, so that you don’t suffer from the transient nature of Asian expats. You can go to all these industry meetups, expos, trade fairs and the like. I’ve been to a few in my line of work (also online) and it’s really good fun and a great way to network with successful people.
Thailand is too transient to count on having the support group you need to grow and friends back home will not enable a lifestyle that includes a lot of travel, thus it is best to make friends with other serious online entrepreneurs.
I know a guy younger than you who lives in Malta, but lives like that and travels around the world. Hot brazilian girlfriend too.
Also, I would definitely read a A Farang Abroad in Japan.
In fact I think your humorous take would be a smash hit. Japan is full of politically correct expat type.
I don’t mind the discrimination. I don’t like it when it happens to me, but value living in a free country (people/business should have the freedom association/disassociation with anyone for any reason). Plus, in a cheap country like Thailand, the cost of discrimination is almost negligible. There are always more restaurants, bars, and women that would be happy to have your business and treat you well. If not, maybe the problem is you…
Personally, my two biggest grievances with developing Asian cities are the 1)The high density results in an overwhelming amount of noise, chaos, and stimuli 2) The inefficiency of simple tasks is very annoying.
However, these problems are pretty minor and are likely to improve in the coming years. Don’t forget Western cities used to suffer from similar problems not so long ago and many still do. I think the best way to evaluate a city is in terms of quality of life/$. Figuring out what increases your quality of life is the hard part. Many things such as social life, romantic life, distance to family, green space, ect. vary in importance from person to person and are hard to quantify.
They really need to sort out the high density of people, if you’ve seen Bangkok lately there are massive condos going up everywhere, I mean everywhere, half the rooms in all the new places are empty for years. I think it will get better but will take decades not years.
The skytrain/Mrt/Airport line are all struggling to keep up with increasing passenger numbers. If they continue to pocket budgets for this basic infrastructure needed to move forward, this country will remain in the 3rd world for decades while so-called ”low class” (to Thais) nations like Laos and Cambodia will overtake them pretty quickly.
@JosephT
Nobody is too young to get jaded, it’s human nature. Would he not feel jaded if he was over 40? A ridiculous statement. People travel to far flung places for their own reasons, and not just for a ”cheaper” lifestyle. If he wanted that he could have signed on the dole and sat around smoking weed back home. He got off his arse and explored the world out there. Takes balls.
So it’s cheaper, so what? Is that a terrible, awful thing in your eyes? Cities are not the same the world over, which is why people travel to experience them.
Would you rather Harvie be moaning about the prices in Singapore and Japan just to satify the losers who begrudge a cheaper, quality life? In fact Thailand is no longer cheap due to a piss weak GBP.
With statements like that it’s you that’s not travelled. See animals? An afternoon on a pedalo in Lumpini Park is great for animal watching, snakes, cats, lizards, swans, squirrels, all members of the animal kingdom last time I checked.
Volunteer at orphanages and soup kitchens? Why would that make someone unjaded? It would make most normal folk run a mile. Leave that to the gap year Facetwittergram enthusiasts, they appreciate the likes.
Get on a plane, it’s not as expensive as you think.
Don’t you like traveling around Thailand and exploring different islands?
Are those restaurant ,which you mentioned, kind of a brothel which provide services for Japanese guys?
They are karaoke bars no sex inside the place but girls can come back with you at some places, not all.
やあ、ハーヴィー、
I’ve been here 17 years and have gone through a full 360 degrees already – loving Bangkok and it’s eccentricities…. hating Bangkok and it’s eccentricities that I used to find cute now I find extremely annoying… then I’m at the point where I’ve accepted Bangkok for what it is – that there are things that will still annoy me, understanding that the Thais are complex and not one-dimensional…. I have learned that they are process-oriented (which means unfortunately you have to push them for results as they can get stuck on the process)… Am I jaded? Yes. Do I hate Bangkok? Not anymore . All points considered this is still a better country to be in than most
So don’t worry about being jaded – “this too, shall pass”
(for context: Me and my husband moved here for work. Our kids were born here. I’m from another SEA country and my hubby is European and we both travel a lot for work)
Good post, very few women post on my site, and when they do it’s usually negative. I think a big part of life is to accept things rather than trying to change them or not accept them for what they are.
Hahaha! I guess in the era of micro-aggressions some of my gender compatriots cannot just move along when your blogs or comments to it annoys them and they feel the need to “get in the fray”
I guess there are three things that distinguishes me from other women in that: (1) I consider myself a sex-positive person and (2) I have genuine friends who work as prostitutes/escorts – so I know a lot of them do it on their own volition (and even enjoy it) and not against their will (that is not to say there is no sex-traffic prostitutes and these women need to be rescued) and lastly (3) I have actual guy-friends (heterosexual cis male to be specific )
For me – as long as you treat prostitutes fairly (and pay them properly for crying out loud – trying to shore them is just pathetic and cheap!) and look at people as individuals and not as a “group” -then live and let live.