Why Western Girls Struggle to Date in Thailand
Western girls will be the first ones to tell you how bad the dating pool is in Thailand.
Not only do I wholeheartedly agree with them, I’m going to tell you why they are right.
Dating in Thailand for western women sucks.
If I were a white women, not only would I be making less money than I do now, but trying to find a serious long-term relationship in Thailand would be hell.
In this article I will explain why Thailand is the worst place for western women to find love or obtain a long-term relationships.
Note: This article uses a lot generalisations as it would be impossible to write it without doing so.
These are my thoughts based on running this site and being in Thailand for over seven years.
I’m going to start by looking at the option western women in Thailand have for dating.
Thai and Asian men
Speaking to western girls in Bangkok, the general response is that Asian men aren’t their type.
I believe that is a fair statement as I hardly ever see a western women holding hands with a Thai or Asian man.
Long-Term Psychological Issues living in Thailand
Q & A With Two of Bangkok’s BDSM/Dominatrix
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My girlfriend told me straight up that as long as I was taking care of business at home (nice house, car, new tits, teeth and a full rice bowl) that a mia noi would be tolerated, especially if it meant I wouldn’t be trying to shag her 6 nights a week.
I lol’d.
That’s an interesting post. I had the same feelings when visiting Bangkok for the first time. I felt sorry for those white girls, but hey, that was their choice to move to Thailand. At least they can enjoy the weather 🙂
Yes, if all the white guys are so bad, what about the white girls? If the farang losers aren’t interested in them, does that make them even greater losers? The truth is, losers or not, farang guys are chasing Thai women because they are more attractive, kind of the opposite to farang girls not dating Thai men because they are too short.
Hello Harvie.
I think your articles are well done. I appreciate them.
I fly into Siam Reap the end of January. Any contacts you have there or in Bagan, Burma?
American archaeologist here, will be based all winters in s.e. Asia. Will be reading everything you have written.
Be safe. Jeffrey.
I don’t have contacts at either.
As a white woman I get a lots of attention in Thailand From westerners still ..But yeah can’t lower my standards (I don’t want to though)Simply cuz I know my worth
Where do expats meet in Thailand to find a date anyway?
Thailand is a country where white British men limies can use Thai women it is a perverts paradise for under age girls and trafficked women you compare Thai women to Western women because you hate British women you seem to find it funny when men come to thailand and cheat with prostitutes who have no choice because of economic hardship and family dusfunction your white English privileged gives you a sense of entitlement to buy these women. The next time more British piggies come to see you and you go out to go go bars think if the under age girls and the trafficked women you are contributing too oh by the way your England has contributed to genocide slavery and ethnic cleansing of ppl of colour and not to forget the ppl of Ireland and Scotland a d wwales so this is in your DNA to abuse people you should read the article on how British men are the ugliest in Europe not only physically but their souls are dark and evil no wonder your nation is dead
This is not exactly the topic for your post, but why do (nearly) all normal native girls in SEA hit on decent men from the West.
I spend a couple of month a year in Thailand and SEA.
I mean sweet women (and not western girls..) between 20 and 50 with jobs, surely some of them must have boyfriends? Do they view me as an investment, “maybe I can get involved with him later”. Or are they just looking for an affair, great sex? I got proposals from staff in 5 Star hotels (are they really allowed to do this?). And when I was admitted to Bangkok Hospital for Dengua and felt like shit.
Dont include the semi-pros. I mean normal girl.
But usually I chicken out and go with the massage- and bargirls for a casual contact. Less risk of future drama.
This was a revalation.
/cheers
They don’t, I would say less than <5% of native girls in SEA hit on decent man. Unless you have a specific or mannerisms or only visit rural towns, what you have said is not the norm, and an exception rather than the rule. This is in real life settings of course excluding all tourist areas.
Western women in Thailand have a weird outlook on relationships if they are looking for one. They want a sensual and physical experience that is unusual for them. ie: measure what they cannot obtain in the American culture. Once they have that they leave and go where their choice is paramount. and they can be discrete so no one sees their devious behaviour. Their male friends back home will never know.
First I’ve heard of that, but if true I think there are much better cities they can obtain that than Bangkok, i.e any western city.
Spot on article as usual Harvie.
I will be forming part of the “third wave” in the next couple of years.
I’m no worse than average – just an ordinary despot!
Have a good one.
You’ll be better than most then.
Western girl: Look around the corner Harvie. The west has lost its soft power. In the future girls everywhere want to live like “Crazy rich Asians”. In the materalistic, selfie centered world feminism as it was difined on collage campuses and in editiorials in Huffington Post will lose its importance. Girl will aim for Empowerment and that has a wider meaning in a broarder context.
Western girls starts do behave in a way (at home and in Bangkok) thats less repulsive, and they can score more dates.
And the need for Western guys to move to SEA will diminish. Maybe?
Happy Holiday.
Yo Harvie why you tiptoeing around the elephant in the room. Height is not the only thing that varies by population. Few in Thailand have 3rd legs :p
Because mine is just as small.
@BigNig – True most Thai guys have small cocks. But I remember walking by all those Ladyboy GoGo’s on the 2nd Floor of NanaPlaza with Ladyboys flashing their 10 inch cocks. Maybe they had penile enlargement surgery but it was definitely unsettling to say the least. I’ve tried to avoid the 2nd floor since then. haha
Ha well I’m reading this now and it’s been a long time since 2018, love the comments, love the stereotypes. I am a western woman 20 years old, so a gen Z which is maybe a little different to most of the comments of the guys I am seeing lol. I have a thai boyfriend, a Buddhist who has strong views on cheating, never been to any thai bars clubs. To start off with the first point personally I’ve had no female friends back in the west ever complain about hight difference like I’m not even joking but to put my height out there I’m 4,11 so quite small, I am not seen as attractive in the west but I am in asia maybe for my hight and maybe for the fact I look cute, petite etc. so wouldn’t that mean to you my value went up here instead of down? These days western woman like Asian men because of influences from Kpop, Anime, food, tiktok influences nobody thinks Asian men are undesirable anymore they are equal to any other race of men tbh. Honestly ugly peoples should date ugky people and attteactive people should date attractive people doesn’t matter if you Asian, White, Black etc does it. Everyone is on the exact same level other than that it’s just preference. If I’m seeing a couple in Thailand where it’s a white man and a thai woman, if the white man is ugly fat or old the Thai woman they are with do not usually fit the beauty standard in Asia, some do tho for reason such as money etc. v weird but ok. I think if a western woman wants to date in Thailand there should be places to avoid and you’ve just got to meet the right groups of people, trying to to literally go out and find a guy is just not going to work is it or you can get yourself into a relationship with the wrong person innit. Also what’s with the white woman fat thing going on r u guys ok ?? Like are all white woman Americans or smth or am I talking to the wrong gen here?
Disillusioned soon-to-be expat checking in. I hate what Western society has become and all the political correctness, I think the “third wave” will hit like a tsunami in SE Asia pretty soon. You hit the nail on the head with this article mate.
SE Asia just seems to offer a lot more for males – the ones that aren’t at top tier level in Western society anyway. I think (with the advent of online dating) Pareto’s 80/20 principle applies, except it is closer to 95/5 for men. If you are not in the top 5% you have no chance with online dating, and if you don’t have a decent social circle you will have great difficulty meeting women.
I am very disillusioned with Western society and my place in it. The good thing is there is an out – if you can make money online or you can earn 1st world dollars and live in SE Asia you can still have a decent life for yourself.
And I think you are right Harvie – we will probably be the most cynical out of everyone!
Thanks for the post David, very interesting point of view.
Good article as usual. Lots of western guys living here certainly hate western women lol. That’s definitely a big reason. You kind of tip toed around another huuuuge point…
Most of the Western girls living in SEA weren’t even physically attractive back home. They’re like the female version of the stereotypical male SEA expat.
I mean, I personally prefer white women looks wise (blonde, blue eyes, C-cups… hnnggg), BUT they need to be thin, have long hair, wear dresses/skirts, and be under 25 y/o. There just aren’t that many white chicks living in SEA that meet that criteria. So in that sense, the Asian women are superior.
All the attractive white chicks that want the “foreign experience” appear to go to Spain, Portugal, Italy, Greece, or some other European country with swarthy men.
That’s a hard list of requirements, you must be one hell of a catch :D.
Asian women are overrated sorry
Your take on western women and western men is spot on, they really do give you anxiety because when they talk to you they are already looking to see if you say anything offensive, what your political views are, etc., and if it’s not aligned with what they believe you’re a bad guy. Why even bother with such women, regardless of how hot they are. Thai women on the other hand may not have as much in common with you but there’s no anxiety at all felt when talking to them. They size you up for other things like probe questions on wealth, status etc. It’s a different conversation altogether.
Interesting take Charlie. I think there’s a portion of women in Thailand (western and Thai) who probably see us as “bad” for just being here, and they would be right :).
They should not even exist or be allowed to Thailand. For the benefit of all of us and them. The last thing anyone wants to see here is a farang woman and everything that goes with it.
You should like a first waver.
Fact: nobody wants black skinned guys. They only take them if they have no other choice. White skin has been the highest standard of beauty in all cultures and lands from the time Jesus walked the streets of Nazareth.
Not sure that’s true in the west, yes in the east.
Man I’m black skinned and 6.2 ft standing on my 10 toes , I’m pretty sure I get more hos than you do living in Thailand
We are somewhat concerned that you might have gone into early retirement Harvey, or a state of heat induced inertia after only one post a month recently…
Life in the Big Mango must be good…
Not retired, just doing a few other things right now :).
Good post but it should also mention that most women that have moved to Thailand from the West are ugly fat whales. Also, many of them are TwatPackers (Backpackers) who don’t bathe often, have hairy armpits, bad domineering attitudes, and who lack the sexiness and femininity that Thai girls have. But don’t get me wrong,I have seen some super hot Russian and Ukrainian type women in Bangkok or Pattaya. But majority of white women from the West are how I described and generally unattractive.
In my opinion, western women living in Thailand should just date Thai men since most ex-pats wont be interested in them, even though that probably means they’ll likely be cheated on with a Mia Noi. But it’s either that or they can just masterbate with their vibrators to porn. Now they know how it feels for many men in the West who can’t get laid. Karma is a bitch. Lol…
I think western girls in Thailand are fairly attractive, I also don’t think they have any issues with getting laid, the issue they have is finding something who isn’t a loser.
Western women in average have better faces and bodies,the only guys who think asian women are more beautiful are in general losers that cant have a pretty white girl lol
I’m a black man who’s dating a white Slavic girl . I’m my opinion , I don’t find Asian girls attractive except the thick thigh ones with curves and all that . There’s no comparison between white bitches and Asian hos tho . The former wins
My favourite feminist view those days is :
– Men like dating Asian girls because they are racist.
– Women don’t date Asian guys because that it’s their preference.
I sometimes talk to some western girls on tinder. It is funny how they dislike Asian men in general. The pool becomes really limited and Western guys give them much less attention too. There is some jealousy regarding Asian girls too. It is curious, they like the country, the culture but have a huge comtempt for them for being not attractive for the men and for stealing their men for the girls.
I see some of my female friends back home who had unreasonnable expectations in their prime age hitting their thirties and losing a big part of their attraction. It is a bit sad to see but they didn’t put the efforts or had absolutely realistic expectations about men and they are now paying the price. Ageing is not fun but it is much better to be a man. Especially if you can choose the place where you live.
That was Nice points.
Where and how to hook up with western girls in Bangkok? Cause the majority of them leave Bangkok the next day.
They don’t unless they are tourists.
You have a very down putting, anti man, bitch voice regarding men’s worth.
So a guy that goes to Thailand can’t fit in and sucks with women and is a loser? Wow, you really must hate yourself. Normal guys don’t attack other men; they know society does that enough.
How about encouraging men? Men who will not tolerate the bullcrap of Western dating insanity are not losers….they’re smart enough to not invest in Western user snakes.
Good job, though, in articulating a tampon FEMINIST, emotional Simp bitch.
Thanks for the kind words.
The hot Western women have no problem dating or hooking up with whoever they want when they want in Thailand if they adjust to the local social environment in the right way. The *really* hot Western women have no problems even if they dgaf, but tbf they are small in number. Both types do seem to often relish the fact and enjoy letting the local women see that they don’t have a monopoly on men’s attention…and often wallets. Plenty to be seen in Sing Sing, Smalls, Fairies, Magie’s, Glow, Above 11, Nest etc and other decent bars/clubs that aren’t overtly FL hunting grounds.
Average or below Western women though, i.e. the majority of them….yeah good luck to them because they do need it. This strata really do often have to drop their standards to even get a hookup, or have some sort of USP/gimmick. A very few exceptions are those with amazingly good game or natural banter, even more so if they are sober. Another factor that can tip things in their favour is if they are ‘the only farang woman in the village’ kinda thing. Teachers in small towns or working on the quieter islands doing whatever.
Add to that how some (not all) have this ingrained suspicion of western blokes who live here. I’ve seen them glance at couples with utter contempt as if to think blokes are only here to pay prostitutes for porno style sex.
Yes, some men are, best of luck to em.
I recall meeting a nice American girl at a bar and we both got a taxi towards her place down Suk 39. I commented that I could do with another few beers and the answer was that I’d be lucky to get anything more than a glass of water at hers.
So why were we heading to her place at 1am, I hear you all ask.
Turns out she was some kind of artist who did modern artistic oil paintings, ie. shite that pretentious bearded hipsters masturbate to down Brick Lane, and she only wanted to show me some of her work.
Needless to say I faked a phone call (countdown timer set at 7mins) and evacuated fast.
That story just sounded like she was genuinely interested in you as a person and in turn wanted to show you something she was passionate about. I don’t see anything off putting about that interaction, other than the fact that it seems that you felt entitled to sleep with her that night.
Great post as usual.. Bars are not so much my scene, all the more as I don’t drink!
So where would you suggest to meet Western women in Bangkok?
Those on Tinder are too young for me and thaifriendly has none.
Thanks
In real life.
I think it’s a little different in Chiang Mai. By and large I agree with this article tho, especially in bkk.
There is only one tip for western women – do NOT come to Thailand. Never. There are so many other places on the Earth. But not here. Everyone loses. There is nothing of interest here for you. We do not want your opinion on anything, not like the sight of you, your mere presence annoys us. Go somewhere else, anywhere else, like Bali, Santorini, Capri, Mikonos, Acapulco or wherever. But stay strictly out of Thailand
There could be one exception – they could be allowed to, but strictly only to Khaosan road. Same thing for the French and Italians, especially couples, especially young couples /why are they even coming to Thailand, its beyond me, but it is immoral, unhealthy and cynical/
Saw two overweight, farang girls openly smoking amidst a crowd who were waiting for a bus. There were a lot of hints dropped that it was an inconsiderate, smelly foul thing to do, like holding noses, scowling glances and schoolkids nearby, but these two self-entitled miserable looking uglies didn’t, or wouldn’t even use common sense.
”It’s my human god given right to do what I like because I have a vagina and breasts” is what the western world teaches them,
If they’re they type of expat women hoping to snare a decent bloke in Thailand, then god help them.
Lol what a loser you are
I disagree with your ascertion that Thai women are not superior to western women. In my country, Ireland 53% of women are overweight or clinically obese and have wholeheartedly embraced the ‘real woman’ blurb to excuse a poor diet, little or no exercise and a whales arse. If you dont find fat attractive you are somehow sexist, fattist and so on ad nauseum. Im physically fit and enjoy being with woman who also enjoy exercise and health. Thai women have fitter bodies, are more feminine and take more care of their appearance in my experience. A smart casual day in an Irish office is a parade of heifers in sweat pants. Dont get me wrong, if a western woman looks after herself its all good but then you have to deal with this 3rd wave feminist crap. I held a door open for a woman recently who immediately called me a pig and told me to F off. I was in BKK for a couple of months this year and all I saw were frowning, fat arsed white chicks squeezed into ill fitting yoga pants trudging about like they owned the place while stuffing their faces and passing super hot Thai office girls who would be 9 or 10’s on a bad day.
Absolutely
Of course they are far superior. There is no comparison. I live in Switzerland, where there is not so much obesity, but white girls are terrible – attitude, looks, appearance, make-up, carrer orientation. Only exceptions are immigrants from south America. Or prostitues at /very, very expensive/ hotels bars and clubs. And they are not Swiss, of course. So, Thailand, or any SEA country for that matter is far, far better in every sense. There is overflow of tourists in BKK, however…
Hey loser not all western woman are fat and not all thai women are thin and femminine ok?
I’m not sure what’s going on with my situation right now but I’m having a hell of a time trying to get with Thai woman, I’ve lived here before several times and had crazy success before, but since being back in 2020, I’m struggling to get a date off Tinder, and when I cold approach, most say no…is this a sign of the times that the market is flooded in Bangkok with Western men? And I’m even considered good looking, but 5’7 so I’m on the short side, but as I mentioned before I didn’t have any problems getting laid my other times living here.
My friends who are dating don’t have much trouble, but it’s not as easy as 10 years ago.
Yes, you are basically right. It is changing for the worse. All over Thailand, but especially BKK. It is now literally flooded by: 1/ tourists in general, and their money, 2/ among them, Japanese, Koreans and farangs. 3/ unforturnately, also young farang couples taking selfies all over the place. 4/ mid-age and young farangs. 5/ young farangs spending money senselessly. So, everything is worse than before /I first came exactly 10 years ago, and here 3x every year 10-15-30 days/, but still OK. I mean, much better than Farangland, but not really good anymore. I still like BKK, but its really annoying, and you can not get away from those 1-6 items. Almost the same in Patong. But Pattaya is better. Not Walking street, which is also terrible /tourist groups, families, Chinese, Indians, Arabs…/ but LK metro, Soi Buakhao, and sometimes Soi 6, 7, 8. Insomnia is also lost to tons of young fit farangs splashing money around. Last week I was one of maybe 50, and there were maybe 20-30 available thaigirls, average looking. So I went back to Buakhao and surrounding bars, many new….
It’s pretty simple. Thai women treat their men better. They also look better.
I know the readership of this site is mostly Western men but there’s so much useful info for the Indian man as well. Just contributing my 2 cents. As an Indian man, I’m pretty much shunned by Thai girls both online and physically. There’s almost no way to overcome this no matter how well-groomed and educated the Indian man is. I work in a big corporate in Bangkok and I have had success with quite a few Thai women owing to the fact that I do presentations and seminars. So these women get a chance to see that I’m articulate and charming on stage before I make an approach. Even then it’s hit-and-miss. The stereotypes are too entrenched.
I have found approaching Western girls to be easier. The stereotypes still persist and if the Western girl is fresh off the plane, she wouldn’t give you the time of day. The trick is to find the Western girl who’s been here more than few weeks. Within this time her partner may have cheated, she hasn’t got any attention from attractive men that she’s used to, she’s been invited too many times to threesomes with white men and Thai hookers etc. They’ll be more than willing to interact with you if only to soothe their wounded self-esteem. I’ve banged more white women in Bangkok in one year than I did in 4 years in the US.
Where did you go to meet them, my friend?
All very true even if generalization and stereotyping. I think Thai women in general are very caring if you treat them right. They will be loyal to you and don’t bitch about not getting attention. For them, it’s about their children and family they want to look after, so if you bring stable income and love them, they will be alright. For men, it can’t be helped but we are all kids and we want the best looking cars, tvs, suits, watches and women, so we care about looks. In general Asian women age slower so they are attractive longer term.
I never knew that looking skinny without no boobs and ass is feminine? I thought a woman is supposed to have some meat tho ! Asian women have bones , bones are dogs ! Meats are for men. Y’all get over all that skinny looking feminine shit.
Wow Harvey! I really enjoyed your post, well put. I admire how blunt and self aware you were. I really respect the part where you talked about the difference in standards ( how women typically have have high and men low). I just wished most guys were as self aware of what their standards were and discussed about the seriousness and overall views on infidelity as you did! Respect!
Though some guys commenting just seem down right misogynist. Tbh I think that the expats who were socially awkward in their home countries are nice people at heart and wish them the best, can’t say that for guys who truly think women are lesser than though. So if you’re a guy reading this and feels like he’ll never get a girl because you’re awkward, don’t give up! Have value in yourself and don’t think you’re entitled to be with someone and you’ll find someone!
I share only less then 50 % of the author’s view of that article.
When a Western man comes to Thailand he get hot looks from many Thai women, an experience many haven’t had in the West for quite some time.
And in my opinion Thai women are more attractive: dress better, are slim and so on.
Many Western women do not take care of themselves and eat bad fast food.
In the West families have been destroyed (but I do not say by whom, I do not want to sound antisemitic). Feminism and Socialism are bad things!
Then the scumbag claim: what people immigrate to Europe and the US? The elite of their countries? Of course not, welfare seekers do.
I can tell you my personal story: in 2017 I emigrated from Germany, because of high taxes and too many years Merkel.
Despite being conservative in contacting expats here, I assure you that I am not a criminal, bad person etc.
I could have been emigrated to several countries: Bulgaria, Hungary, Spain and others. But I chose Thailand.
These comments show that racism and sexism is alive and kicking – how sad.
Latecomer – maybe that should be Hatecomer.
So maybe Harvey is right – we are all shitbags.
Western women *and* Thai women suck, for different reasons.
as a southeast asian woman reading this (no, i didnt read it all) this shit sounds so pathetic and deeply insecure, just because you’re a white man doesn’t make you a god in thailand or a catch, yikes.
I like all the salty chicks who come here and complain in the comments. They proved the point of the article! Non-Asian women: who wants them, who needs them?
People vary greatly in Thailand just like everywhere else. Height, weight, body constitution, skin color, etc. A lot of variety. I like Thai people overall because of their chill nature and vivid personalities. Seeing the whole population of very diverse people as an uniform dating market with people viewed as meat is a pretty shallow perspective. And anyone can find a partner they want, especially in Bangkok area where people are less conservative overall. There’s life outside of GoGo bars where the Thais are building their careers and businesses, being artists and advocates, studying and teaching. And there’s definitely no problem to find someone for a Caucasian woman. It just seems that’s usually not what they come looking for in Thailand.
The real answer is that they just can’t compare to the feminine Thai women. Especially the fat ugly ones from America, England and Australia.
I laughed pretty hard at the Bitcoin joke. I think most Thai guys don’t want to deal with western women unless they can receive money or some sort of reward. Thai girls make it so easy for us that we become spoiled in SE Asia. Height is a big factor but don’t forget about money! We earn more money than the local guys, which makes it hard to western women to find a rich ATM in Asia.
Western women are great as friends and coworkers but I don’t think they can ever compete with SE Asian girls unless they lower their standards and stop acting like complete 304s.