I have devised a basic check list you can use when you visit Bangkok.
It’s not totally conclusive, but it should give you some foundations on what to look out for.
The check list to spot Thai bar girls
Is she alone?
If you meet a Thai girl that is alone at a bar or club after 10pm, there’s a high chance that she is a Thai bar girl.
Your average Thai girl would only ever go out in a group of friends, as Thai’s don’t usually do social things alone.
Thai bar girls do also have friends, so don’t be fooled by the fact that you meet her in a bar with several friends, she must be a normal Thai girl, as it’s not always the case.
Did she approach you?
99 times out of a 100 your typical average Thai women will not approach you.
It’s not in their culture to approach a man, even worse a farang, they tend to be on the passive side.
If a girl has approached you or advising you to come over in a forceful manner, this is a tell tale sign that she could be a Thai bar girl.
Did she ask you to buy a drink?
If she asks you to go buy her a beer or a shot within 5-10 minutes of interaction inside the club or bar, this is another tell tale sign that the Thai girl you are speaking to may be a Thai bar girl.
Your typical Thai women won’t press you for a drink, but if you offer, they will usually happy have a beer or twelve.
Is she showing public displays of affection?
If she being very touchy and even kissing you in public that is a signal that you may be with a Thai bar girl. This only applies if you have meet this lady for the first time, after several dates this can be totally normal, depending on the openness of your Thai girlfriend or gik.
There are two types of Thai girls who always look at their phone:
1. Normal Thailand girls
2. Thailand bar girls
In a club or bar, your everyday Thai women will hardly look at her phone, while Thai bar girls will check to see if they are getting messaged by their boyfriends or sponsors. Hookers will seem more interested in their phone than you, that’s because they are.
The guy on the other end of her messages is most likely sending her a lot of money and thinking she is at home.
Does she have a bottle at the table?
One thing I’ve learned from visiting several clubs in Bangkok is that Thailand girls who are Thai hookers rarely buy bottles.
This is not always the case but I’ve noticed this a lot. They will sip on a beer in small groups.
When normal Thailand girls head out they will usually pool their money and get a bottle of some kind.
Thai girls care a lot about their how they are portrayed and having a bottle on your table is important. Regular Thailand girls will plan this before they go out while Thai bar girls will just buy single drinks and look for customers.
Are all Thailand girls bar girls?
99% of Thai girls are everyday working people, you will only find Thailand girls that are hookers in places like Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy. If you do not want to meet a Thai bar girl and would like normal Thai girl, then visit Thai Friendly. That will be your best bet to finding a normal girl from Thailand.
I’d say something like this to a Thailand girl who I’m unsure is a hooker or not:
Hey, I am very sorry to ask this but can I ask you a question? I am wondering if you are working here or you are just a normal girl because I like you.
That’s all it takes, they will be up front and honest about it, if you want to pay her for sex, then ask how much she wants. You can find a base line of what to pay for sex in Thailand here.
If you’re in a expat area like Thong Lor or a restaurant or night market, don’t go up to a girl and ask if she is a Thailand bar girl, only ask them that in clubs and nightlife areas that have a lot of westerns.
What are Thailand bar girls like?
I think Thailand bar girls get a bad rep, most of them are very friendly and out going people.
In go go bars in Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy they are being watched by the supervisor who is telling them to ask you to buy them a drink which can get real annoying.
But when they are not doing that, they are just like most regular girls. There are exceptions to this rule but usually every Thailand bar girl you will meet will be normal. Watch out for girls who drink way too fast or way too much, this is usually a sign of trouble ahead for you.
I’ll often get a few emails a week of people asking where is the best place to meet farang girls in Thailand. If you want to avoid Thai bar girls and focus on farang girls, head to any island.
Most backpacker flock to islands like Krabi, Koh Tao and the like.
Bangkok and Chaing Mai also has a lot of farang girls in the tourist parts of town.
Thai bar girls scams
We have all heard about the story of a foreign man who has visited Thailand once or twice and they met this beautiful and caring Thai bar girl.
This man has met her when she was working at one of the bars in Bangkok or Pattaya.
They started hanging out, going on a few dates and then finally this poor foreign man has fallen in love with this Thai bar girl. But this guy had to go back home for work.
However, the connection still remains between this man and the Thai girl – constantly communicating through Skype or email or even text messages. This man can no longer bear the pain of missing the “love of his life” and have been thinking about bringing her to his country. When he discussed his plans with the girl, she has lots of excuses saying while she is dying to be with him, she can’t because of this and that.
If this sounds familiar to you like you know a friend who has a friend, etc. You should read this. Do you actually think that your Thai girl is telling the truth? Find out some of the Thai bar girls scam and possibly give you some information and how to avoid it.
One big scam that you might have heard is that you would have to pay the bar she is working with a 10,000 baht bar fine. The bar fine is supposed to be for her to be released from working at the bar in order to be with you. This will also give her the opportunity to be able to go back working at the bar in the future if she wants to.
The truth is, if she wants to be with you, why is she even thinking about going back working at the bar? If the Thailand bar girl is popular, of course any bar would be happy to take her back as this would give them the chance to rake in some more income for their business.
Another excuse of paying for the barfine is that their family has been paid of this amount in advance.
In all honesty, there are several Thai girls from poor provinces who are lining up to work as a bar girl due to lack of education and they would think of this as the easiest way of earning good money to send back to their families.
This would mean that this is nothing but a scam and hope that you have not fallen for it.
Still working but can’t be bar fined
Another big scam that Thailand bar girls would throw out to their foreign lovers/ boyfriends/ partners is that they are still working at the bar but they can’t be bar fined. In most and all Thai bars, they have a certain system for Thai girls’ salary.
Thai bar girls are usually earning around 8,000 baht a month. She can only be able to get this amount in full provided she has reached her quota. This means that she is required to be bar fined 7 times a month and clients need to buy her ladies drinks 50 times a month.
The caveat is that if the girl fails to reach this quota, her salary will be deducted. Deduction is 600 baht for every bar fine. 50 baht for every drink. If you do the math she will only be receiving around 3,800 baht per month if she does not get bar fined.
If she also fails to show up for a night, this would also mean cut on her salary.
So if this Thailand bar girl is saying that she is still working but she can’t be bar fined thus she can’t go with another man – this is total B.S.
Needs 20,000 baht a month to live by
If you are going to make your Thai girl to quit her job, this means that you would have to pay for her monthly expenses and all other stuffs that she is paying for such as financial support to her family. Some Thai girl would even ask for more than 20,000 baht a month!
If she is really serious about being with you, regardless of how much you send is just enough for her. Otherwise, if she asks for more then she is serious about YOUR money.
Mobile phone problems
Another scam that Thai bar girls would throw at their poor foreign boyfriends is that they would come up with tons of excuses why they are unable to answer your phone call.
Thais sleep, talk, walk and breathe with their mobile phones. It is quite impossible for them to not have their mobile phones with them all of the time. Unless of course she is doing something that she should not be doing.
Most of the time, their mobile phones are turned off during late hours in Thai. This only means that they are with a customer and not wanting to be disturbed. When she answers the phone, she will give you an excuse that she left her mobile phone at home or it is broken. Sure. There are not just only a few mobile phone repair shops in Thailand.
Some would play it less obvious. They would turn their phone on but put it on a silent mode. This will enable them to monitor if their boyfriend have called them. This would give them the opportunity to call them back and give them another of their best lies.
Another common lie that they would give is that there are network issues or lack of network coverage in the province where they are at.
Thai technology is booming. This also means that telecommunication industry is expanding their reach by installing more cell towers. It is likely that your Thailand bar girl is with a customer who hired her to be with him for a couple of days or so.
Women in their family are working as bar girls
Does working as a Thai bar girl the only option for you to earn money? First of all, older Thai women have entered the industry to help with the cost of raising her kids. This might seem like the only “noble” reason why they have chosen to be in this industry.
Some women are attracted with the fact that they will be able to make quick money, buy flashy and trendy clothes, latest smart phones, provide money for their parents and families easily by working as a Thailand bar girl. They are just lazy enough to look for a more decent job to support their families.
This might not be considered as a scam but it is just a pity lie that most working girls would tell.
There are several horror stories which you can read online from those who have actually experienced being in on one of these scams. Before you dive your nose into one of these types of relationships make sure that you are sober and have thought about it more than a few times.
Theft in your sleep
Perhaps this is one of the most common Thai bar girl scam that you have heard. You pick a Thai girl from a bar, you bring her back to your hotel and have her stay for long-time. After your rendezvous, you feel asleep and woke up in the morning. The girl is gone and so is your money or any other valuables.
This is why renting a room for short time or long time is a good idea. This will leave her out of the temptation of stealing from you. This will also eliminate the headache of trying to retrieve your things, etc.
This is by far one of the most unusual yet crazy type of scam. In order to get more money from their farang boyfriends, some Thailand bar girls would convince them that they are pregnant.
As proof, they would even inject a chemical substance to their stomach to make it seem that they really are pregnant.
That injection costs around 3,000 baht. After this the stomach will inflate a few weeks after the injection. Another injection is needed in order to make their stomach back into its original shape.
Ever heard of pregnancy test kit? While this may seem too ridiculous, just be wary of the pitfalls of all the scams that these Thai bar girls create just to get more money out of your pocket.
Is it safe to sleep with a bar girl?
I would always advise to wear protection when having sex with any bar girls in Thailand.
Most are tested every 3 months and the smart ones always insist that you wrap up.
Dating Good Girls vs. Bar Girls
Is it possible to find love from Thai bar girls?
Yes. There are some foreign men who have been able to find a wife through Thai bars. That was back in the days.
Nowadays, it is quite difficult to find a good Thai bar girl. Some of these Thai bar girls have already wasted away the money they should have earned due to gambling or any type of vices. They have learned a trick or two from dealing with all the scums they have met once or twice in their lifetime.
Lack of education and struggling to make ends meet have driven these Thai girls from far flung provinces to be involved in this industry.
I would never advise anyone to date a Thai bar girl for the obvious reasons that there’s a high chance it’s going to end badly.
Thailand has so many girls that why would you pick one who works at a bar and is most likely lying to you?