A battle ground, that’s what dating a Vietnamese girl is like.
Updated: I updated this article in 2019, so please read the bottom to learn more about Vietnamese girls by which city they live in and how they compare to Thai girls.
And if you are not here for the sexy Vietnamese girls, you will be very soon as they soon take over your senses and focus onto them.
In no other place on the planet have I felt such intense lust and sexual tension with the women. And it’s no surprise that people (even in modern countries) are impressed when you score with a Vietnam girl.
If you want to meet Vietnamese girls easily, check out my personal experience of their biggest online dating site.
This is a guest post by Cyclone, a long term expat living in Vietnam.
UPDATE: I updated this article myself in Dec 2018 so do read till the end for my take on Vietnam girls and how to get a Vietnamese girlfriend.
Where to meet Vietnamese girls?
If you’re already in Vietnam, then you only need to leave your hotel room. If you’re not, then Vietnam Cupid is probably your best bet. It’s the site I always use when I fly in, I setup dates with around 6-7 girls a few weeks before hand, and end up sleeping with at least half.
Around 99% of are regular Vietnam girls, and 1% are hookers. They are pretty easy to spot though. Just setup a profile with 3-4 pictures, be friendly and just casually ask if they would like to meet up for a coffee or dinner when you land. Around 90% will agree.
Do keep in min that some girls will flake (perhaps 10-20%), but that’s normal. Just set up a number of dates and you will be fine, and one of the best ways to find yourself a Vietnamese girlfriend.
Transparency in Vietnam girls
Don’t fall into the trap. Even though Vietnam is considered South East Asia, and thought of in the same boat with the likes of Thailand or Indonesia, the country has far more in common with China than those regions. This is due to 1) high population 2) language 3) it’s closed-off society and should approach the country with the same idea.
The one great thing I find about Vietnamese girls (which is also frustrating for every guy out there) is their blatant transparency. This is displayed in their emotions, body language, and voice.
In modern regions such as North America, Europe, or Singapore, women have learned to put up “shields” over their true personalities as they grow to be an adult.
When talking to a western chick, a guy has to cut through shield after shield just to get at the root of a girl’s true feminine side before being able to take control. In Vietnam, the barriers are all down.
Vietnamese girls will attempt to lie or hide feelings you will always know where you stand with her, giving you an upper hand. The frustration lies in trying to shake them out of their state and acknowledging that you can see right through them.
Related: learn everything about Vietnam escorts and hookers.
The friend à lover curve
One of my favourite things that me and my interns would become familiar with is the friend-lover curve.
Which at first is frustrating but becomes a source of amusement over time.
It means that right upon meeting a sexy Vietnamese girl(s), they are spiked with wonder and give you instant affection.
This gives you the idea that they want to get romantic with you very soon just after a couple hours of meeting up.
It is flirtation of the highest degree. But, then it stops.
The curve flattens – once you’ve got a good connection they refuse to let you grab them, take them home, put their arms around you on their bike. It is revealed that they very desperately just want to be your friend.
That’s only how it appears to us, and what they really want is for you to ask them to be your Vietnamese girlfriend (they always want it to be formal).
But for a player like myself this is an absolutely no no proposal.
It is also bit of a culture shock to see them put up a wall right when things could have gotten interesting. But hey, I have met some very sexy Vietnamese girls that I almost thought about having a serious relationship with.
A slap in the face
Vietnamese girls are stern, and I mean that in the best way possible. in the romanticised, classic sense of the word, when they start acting like the classic 1950’s uptight jealous wife, giving you a slap in the face for even seeing you walking (or riding motorbike with) another girl. Either that or an emotion fuelled shouting battle, turning up some much-needed intensity in relationships.
Which is great because that’s how you know Vietnamese girls are in love with you and can do whatever you want with them. Ensuring things stay simple and makes it a massive turn on.
While it is trippy to experience dynamics as they were in the 50’s, the girl will not hesitate to get vicious, and that includes sleeping with other men or seriously fucking your shit up at home.
It makes shaking the “player persona” a tempting route but the dynamic does make you into more of a man regardless of your approach.
Vietnamese girlfriend is for you.
Relentless testing and being the white night
It’s pretty obvious at this point in the article that cold approach pickup is non-existent here (other than the handful of clubs at Saigon).
This is because it’s so easy to meet Vietnamese girls through social circles and Vietnamese dating sites (as long as it’s not your girlfriend’s social circle). Relationship game undergoes a lot of testing here, as are a man’s true commitment to his girl.
Now, I have had various experiences as have my friends, but there are two ways to react when a Vietnam girl “tests” you. This includes ignoring you completely for 2+ days, flaking on a major date or commitment, or even claiming you stole something of theirs just to see how you react.
One is that you ignore her back and dominate, taking on the player role; the other is to “fall in” to her trap of drama willingly and be on your knees for her, begging.
The first will prove that you are not clingy, the second would prove that you really are committed.
The choice you make to get the bang depends entirely on how conservative or slutty the Vietnamese girl is. Of course, your true goal are always your own and you shouldn’t feel like acting like a white night if you don’t want too.
Saigon vs. Hanoi Vietnamese girls
This difference between political city vs. business city is common throughout much of Asia.
It is the Beijing vs. Shanghai, the Delhi vs. Mumbai; and the Hanoi vs Saigon is not much different.
In the more communistic north, which is where I spent 9 months of my time, getting laid is *hard*.
This is due to how close they are with China both in terms of location and contract-like relationship culture, and because Vietnam is a communist country.
Although it does spike your exotic senses, it’s probably going to be a lot more dating and romance, and a lot less real action. In the south the women are equally beautiful. But while the really cute Hanoi girls strive for a “perfect” pure, model look, all the sexy and cute Saigon girls value and exhibit far more diverse, with colorful and fashionable clothes, and revealing attire.
They speak more English and are more down to meet you.
Their core still feature the same values and you can find a wide range of conservative and liberal Vietnamese girls down here. Also, they tend to use online dating sites such as Vietnam Cupid, check it out to meet girls in Vietnam.
Vietnamese or Thai girls?
This is where the updated version of this article starts written by me.
I don’t agree entirely with this guest post, but we all experience things in different ways, so I guess that was his thoughts.
I’ve been to Vietnam 4 times and I have to say Vietnamese girls are very different to Thai girls.
For example, Vietnamese girls are much more conservative, where in Bangkok you can find Vietnam girls who openly drink beer, smoke, have western friends and visit bars or clubs.
Vietnam women are more traditional I would say, showing pubic displays of affection makes them shy. Just because they are traditional doesn’t meant they won’t want to meet you.
If you’re a nice guy and plan to be here a while you can find a Vietnamese girlfriend with not so much trouble, as long as you’re willing to put in a bit of work.
Just expect a more traditional feel to all their actions.
I think the higher you go north the more you’ll find this in Vietnam for obvious reasons.
With that comes their sweetness, it’s safe to say that Thai girls are much more animated in their actions. For example, if you piss a Thai girl off she is more likely to get mad and show her rage, where Vietnamese girls are sort of the opposite.
If you had to ask me which I prefer Thai girls or Vietnam girls, I could not answer as they both have their own pros and cons.
Related: find out where the best sex massages in Vietnam are.
As Vietnamese women are quite shy, approaching them in clubs or out in bars, restaurants or cafes is hard.
Read my guide on where to find sex in Ho Chi Minh and where to get the best blow jobs in HCM.
Even if they like you they may not give you their number or they will become so shy because other locals are watching them that they will end the conversation or make an excuse to leave.
During my time I saw very few ladyboys in Saigon or Hanoi.
Best places to meet girls in Vietnam
for lazy guys dating sites are the quickest and easiest way to meet Vietnam girls.
If you decide to use this method the first thing you need to figure out is the girl is she traditional or not. I found the further you go up north the more traditional they are.
You can check my guide on meeting girls in Dan Nang if you plan to visit there.
If she is then you need to decide whether you’re okay to take it very slow with her.
Conservative Vietnam girls will meet you for coffee or a date, but if you expect them to get drunk or go back home with you on the first date, that’s harder.
Most of them will be working full time, study and looking after people in their family.
What their family thinks of them is also very important, so dating a westerner can sometimes be looked down upon.
You’ll find both types of Vietnam girls on dating sites, the more westernised girls will be more flirty and forward.
After online dating sites, your second best option to meeting Vietnam girls is to go outside.
Vietnam has hundreds of coffee shops, bars, restaurants and a few malls.
If you see a Vietnamese girl you like, just go up and say hello.
Do note that not all girls in Vietnam speak good English, many don’t and you won’t know until you talk to them.
The best way asides from western friendly nightclubs is via online dating sites. The biggest site is Vietnam Cupid which is worth checking out.
What are your thoughts about Vietnamese girls?