A faint light appears.
I instinctively rub my eyes and see it’s 9:27 am.
I can’t remember the last time I used an alarm clock.
I get out of bed, relax on the balcony and take in the views.
I hear splashing.
Two (hot) women are taking selfies in the condo pool.
I see them, but they can’t see me.
I extend balcony time by 20 minutes.
Feeling a load lighter, I make breakfast.
Then I take the commute to work.
3 seconds later I’m at my desk.
The next hour is spent writing this blog post.
Gym and steam room.
My phone makes a sound.
I meet an old friend for brunch.
He tells me a new online dating strategy he learned.
I decided to try it.
I do push-ups, clean the apartment and change the bed sheets.
I arrive at the fancy Japanese restaurant she insisted we try.
She apologies for being 35 minutes late.
It’s fine, really.
I fucking hate her.
She orders the most expensive thing on the menu, and 3 cocktails during dinner.
I want to get a sledgehammer and crush her fucking skull.
My heart skips a beat when I pick up the bill.
Want to hit a bar or drink some wine on my balcony, it has amazing views – I said.
I have work in the morning, I’m going home – she said.
I blow up into a million tiny pieces.
I contact Minny.
She was cheaper than my date and complimented my bedsheets.