A Day in the Life of a Creep

A faint light appears.

I instinctively rub my eyes and see it’s 9:27 am.

I can’t remember the last time I used an alarm clock.

I get out of bed, relax on the balcony and take in the views.

I hear splashing.

Two (hot) women are taking selfies in the condo pool.

I see them, but they can’t see me.

I extend balcony time by 20 minutes.

Feeling a load lighter, I make breakfast.

Then I take the commute to work.

3 seconds later I’m at my desk.

The next hour is spent writing this blog post.


1:17 pm

Gym and steam room.

2:47 pm

My phone makes a sound.

I meet an old friend for brunch.

He tells me a new online dating strategy he learned.

I decided to try it.

I do push-ups, clean the apartment and change the bed sheets.

6:58 pm

I arrive at the fancy Japanese restaurant she insisted we try.

7:37 pm

She apologies for being 35 minutes late.

It’s fine, really.

I fucking hate her.

She orders the most expensive thing on the menu, and 3 cocktails during dinner.

I want to get a sledgehammer and crush her fucking skull.

8:45 pm

My heart skips a beat when I pick up the bill.

Want to hit a bar or drink some wine on my balcony, it has amazing views – I said.

I have work in the morning, I’m going home – she said.

I blow up into a million tiny pieces.

10:12 pm

I contact Minny.

She was cheaper than my date and complimented my bedsheets.

If you're thinking about moving to Thailand and need help or advice, check out my Online Nomad Group by clicking here.

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