Can I get laid in Thailand?
Can I get laid in Thailand is a typical question I get a lot in various forms, here’s one email I got last week:
I’m sure a lot of people already asked, but I’d like to know if a physically mediocre European guy with neither a lot of money to flaunt can get local girls without paying. I mean, are Asians easier than frigid European women?
My translation:
Hi, I have nothing of value to offer the other sex in Europe, will Thailand be easier?
Can you get laid in Thailand?
I believe most people relocate to another country in their 20s because they are running away from something.
From the email above, we can assume the guy is a loser with not a lot going for him.
I’m not trying to be rude.
I too have been a physically mediocre western male with no money in the bank and a chip with a chip on my shoulder about the west.
Looking back at my younger self, it would be have been just to call me a loser too, and you could even make the argument for calling me a loser now.
To answer the poor boy’s question, yes you can meet girls in Thailand even if you have nothing going for you.
The zero to hero
In Thailand (and Asia for that matter), it doesn’t matter if you’re ginger or have a receding hairline.
It doesn’t matter if you’re overweight.
It doesn’t matter if you’re skinny.
It doesn’t matter if you have pasty white skin.
It doesn’t matter if you’re old.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t have much money.
It doesn’t matter if you’re ugly.
If doesn’t matter if you wear glasses or look like a nerd.
In a third world country, it’s not about how you look, it’s about what value you can offer.
If a Thai girl is from a poor family and has limited educated, simply having a western passport is enough value for them to date you.
If you’ve never been to Asia or a third world country, you have no idea of what poverty actually is.
Simply being able to earn $8/hr in your home country is something some girls in Thailand will never be able to do because of circumstance (they live in a rural area, they cannot speak English, lack work skills or are too old).
Your value status may be low in your native country (zero), but when you enter a third-world country, you’re higher up on the food chain (hero).
What Thais find attractive
Thais consider dark skin as very unattractive.
Flat, fat noises are also considered ugly (a common feature for Thai girls born in certain regions).
Bone structure and a number of other things that make no sense to me, are factors Thai men look for in a woman.
Thai girls that have too many undesirable qualities (combined with a bad social background) find it hard to date good Thai men, and the alternatives are what they call bad Thai men or a zero to hero western guy.
Note: not all western men living in Thailand are zero to heroes. A zero to hero is usually a scrawny guy with little to no experience with girls, lacks self-esteem and confidence around the other sex, and dislikes all western girls because of feminism or something like that. You can have a lot of money and still be a zero to hero.
Some Thai girls are shunned by Asian guys because of their dark skin, bone structure and poor social background. Thai men who have a higher social status do not want to date these girls because they think they are ugly (subjective) and come from too poor of a background.
When Thais get married, sometimes the parents won’t allow their son or daughter to marry if their lover is from a low social background.
As a result, these girls don’t have a big player pool of Asian men to pick from, and will often date western men (mostly zero to heros), because they offer them the best opportunity of a good future. This is why you hear stories on other blogs that Thailand is a great place to live and meet girls.
However, if a zero to hero wants to date a Thai girl who earns good money, is independent, great English, nice family and of higher social value – then it becomes harder for a zero to hero to get such a girl.
20 or so years ago most of South East Asia thought: White skin = $$$$$
Today Thais are making jokes about how poor western people who live in Thailand are. Western backpackers are begging on the streets to fund their travels, and locals see us living in $200/month rooms.
If you fit into the Zero to Hero category, the girls you’re going to meet will most likely be women who are doing the worst economically in Thailand and carry the least desirable traits (socially) for a life partner, typically poorer girls from the village regions, who have limited English and work skills.
Related: How to spot Thai bar girls.
Because why would a girl who has more going for herself than you, date you? If you want to meet these types of girls, then you’ll need to improve yourself too.
It might sound like I am trashing these girls but I’m not, they are arguably some of the sweetest and prettiest girls in Thailand. They are nice, traditional and very caring. It just so happens the cards they were dealt with weren’t as good as others.
They are also the types of girls who will require you to support them and their family due to their lack of education, as they won’t have much opportunity to earn a good income.
To wrap up
Regardless of how much of a zero you’re back home, you can come to Thailand and be something.
I find from personal experience the people who are zeros tend to have the least amount of experience with girls, and are often the ones who end up losing all their money to a girlfriend, dating bar girls who deplete their funds or rush into relationships/get married way too fast, because they do not know how to handle this women attention.
I am not bashing zero to heros either, if we look deeply at ourselves I think we can all agree that at one point in our lives we were all zeros at some point. I know I was.
The point of this article is to say yes you can come to Thailand and have good success with girls regardless of how you look or how little money you have. But don’t think you can just walk up to any girl and they will date you. The general opinion on westerners in Thailand is going downhill, and will probably keep going in that direction.
Why I Would Never Live in Chiang Mai (As a Digital Nomad)
What is Tinglish?
Totally legendary article again.
As a visitor to Thailand I can assure your readers that you truly know you shit.
Have a good one mate,
Lee
enjoy reading your story keep em comeing thanks
Thailand is not “going downhill”, its the west is getting poorer and other countries are getting incrementally richer.
Sharing common values matter more than anything else, one of the reasons I think western people actually can only match with Chinese/Indian/Korean, as they all share a “hard work”, “get educated” and “save money” culture. Unfortunately, thais share none of these values.
Also if you think the end goal is to find a “hiso” thai , they also do not share the same values. This class of people belittle the commoners in this country while getting rich raping and pillaging it as much as they can (no innovation or real value created). You will have absolutely nothing in common with their superficial lifestyles (and I’m saying this as someone who came up, not some broke backpacker), and will be bored to death of them fast.
If you must meet a thai girl, your best bet is to find one from a “middle class” background who came up on their own and shares these values with you (unicorn), alternatively, use thailand like the rich asians (HK/Singapore/Korea/Japan) do and just have a side chick you “take care” of here.
I never said Thailand is going downhill, I said the opinion of westerners is going downhill in Thailand. I also never said the end goal is to find a hi-so Thai girl, there are lots of working-class Thai girls that can support themselves and aren’t from a rich family, I think these are the ideal girls to date as most of us are working class too. The point of this article is to tell people that if you have nothing of value to offer in Asia, your options are very limited.
Someone who gets it. Even middle class thai women have zero respect for bootstrapping foreign entrepreneurs working in a co-working space all day and living in a cheap but otherwise nice condo in On-Nut for 8k baht or so. Might as well be homeless to them. You either live flashy now and can give them face or you might as well not exist to them.
The only girls who will consider you a catch are largely ugly and work at 7-11s and the like. Just paying for it is the only way. You can’t really game thais either way due to a lack of shared culture so your game will inevitably atrophy if you ever had any.
Chinese and Koreans are incredibly money and status oriented as well even though money doesn’t buy much of a lifestyle in either country, however you can find exceptions (usually they aren’t the local guys type) and they’re more straight forward to deal with and not emotional children throwing non stop temper tantrums.
Japanese are the only ones with western middle class values of a fairly cohesive society – something which is completely foreign to south east asians that all look to exploit each other above the peasant class, however their culture doesn’t allow for foreigners to integrate and even if it was possible would you really want to be a 24/7 work drone bot? (there are few japanese guys that can escape this)
I’m reasonably happy in a marriage with a Chinese but if we ever split I’ll leave Asia for good.
The most important thing really is being able to leave without a second thought, which is getting really hard these days if you don’t have a stable career / location independent career, as nobody wants to go back working some entry level job in the UK for 25k while flat sharing at 35+.
I don’t agree with your comments, lots of nice working class Thai girls that will date a western guy without them having to be ‘flashy’. Both your comments on this post sounds like me when I was jaded in Bangkok.
Seems like you don’t want to be in Asia and the only thing keeping you there is your wife. You should both consider relocating, you’ll be happier with life more.
l go Thailand 3 or 4 times a year l would say it is going down hill even at Xmas and newyear not as many people go the hookers want too much money. Thai people are fed up with tourist also. Bangkok got rind of most sex bars they even knocking down half of walking street too make beach longer.
Close all farang orientated red light areas.
See how the losers get on…….
Might even halve the number of them that washes up in Thailand
pat l am a very happy loser as you call me. You sound like a kill joy too me l bet you still live your mother lol.
>I believe most people relocate to another country in their 20s because they are running away from something.
You have bought western female shaming language. In reality most guys in their 20s have not a lot going on. The percentage on track to something resembling a stable career is very small these days.
>From the email above, we can assume the guy is a loser with not a lot going for him.
Are you aware of the 80/20 rule? Most girls only want the top 10-20% in looks. There are tons of studies on this from OKCupid to Tinder. Most guys are “losers” by default either by looks or lack of resources. Again female shaming language. If you don’t buy into it you can be a happy “loser” (average or below looks with a low status job) by yourself banging hookers every weekend even in the west if you aren’t in a country where this is banned.
>If you’ve never been to Asia or a third world country, you have no idea of what poverty actually is.
Bangkok isn’t Manila. It doesn’t take a genius to work at 7-11, Big C etc. Min wage officially is now 10k baht which these places can’t circumvent and gets people by just fine. These women want to upgrade their lives. There is no real poverty outside few regions of the countryside and the people living there don’t want to move to Bangkok to take up a low status job. Even in the countryside most people are able to make alright livings by local standards.
Again, don’t buy the poor third world women wants to escape starvation in a mud hut feminist stories.
Most people who are 20s don’t have a lot going on, but if you have a good social circle, a job you enjoy (doesn’t need to pay a lot), a close family and friends, maybe a girlfriend why would you leave your city for years? Most people I’ve met in Thailand rarely go back home and have few friends and family visit them.
Most are running away from something, nothing wrong with that, just making the observation.
As for the loser comment, having no money and not taking care of your body is a loser attitude and mindset. It has nothing to do with feminism shaming, it’s to say go do something and be the best you you can be.
l fed up reading about people who don’t like this or that about Thailand don’t go or talk about Thailand me and millions other people love Thailand
Economics are important. As Harvie explained. But a growing number of girls in SEA “just want to have fun”. In Bangkok and Ho chi min. Young girls and older girls. Sure they “usually” want a commitment or play you, getting levearge. But sometimes they only seek a a friend to date? Be open for this.
If you are looking for a steady realtionship Harvie is spot on. But dont be obsessed with that path. Thats not what life is about.
Also. Write about your own experiences Harvie. There are an abundance of blogs explaining SEA but they only get interesting when the guy is personal. Tales from your dating in Bangkok? In previous posts you talk about friends visiting you, good reading.
But have you never yourself picked up a ladyboy by mistake? Or intentionally? Any foodpoisoning? Crazy ex girlfriends? Dealinings with the Police? And so on. Thats how you strengthen the brand. We dont want a newsletter from TAT.
That said. Do enjoy reading your blog.
/ cheers.
Thanks Alex, I agree with the personal touch,I do plan to do more of that in the coming months, just need to figure out how I want to get my message across.
harvie tell me how do l know if a Thail girl loves me or my money lol
There’s a book called ‘money number one’ which is a useful read
pat l have got that book l think l need too read it again
^Paul I think many read the first few pages and stop themselves, thinking …”no way, my girl’s different..”
Shame can’t post pics here!
Another important factor (which maybe deserves its own article) is that Farang are pretty much of a blank slate to Thai girls and they don’t know where to place us.
I have middle-class Thai female friends who were dating guys that they would almost certainly not even consider if they could pick up hints about their background and manners. It usually doesn’t go especially far, but a western girl would have not even considered that type of guy, and a few bangs might happen by the time she figures it out…
The same could be said likewise.
Familiarity breeds contempt.
Would anyone date a hooker back home, no, but in Thailand, it’s fairly common.
Here’s a novel thought.
Maybe some zero to hero are the male equivalent of a fine, but brown skinned, Thai girl?
Thai girls don’t mind skinny, in fact, many prefer skinny. Maybe it changes somewhat with Instagram, but not really, the ideal in Thailand is rail thin skinny, both girls and guys. In addition, bro/lad culture is considered brutish and low class.
Attraction arbitrage.
l don’t date hookers at home because they cost too much money
I am no loser with a senior management position. I have dated many asians and Aussie women. Eventually I want a forever relationship but for now I still search. The huge difference is Aussie women seem to think they are so superior and have the only pussy in the world. Asians are more realistic and whilst some are after visas they in general support thier man. Aussie women don’t have that commitment.
In many asian places I meet other Aussies who tend to agree thier asian relationship experiences are far superior to what their Aussie ex provided. Sure rarely I meet a guy who met the wrong asian lady so we all have to be cautious with whomever we date. I read where over 80,000 Aussie men leave Aus every year for parts asia. I understand why
Interesting blog, I enjoy to read it. Anyway I everytime hear about women ripping off the poor tourist thinking about real love, gold diggers and so on.
Obviusly if you date hookers it’s pretty sure they want your money. It’s the same if you try to date young beautful blonde escort in London I guess.
But I’ve a different story and it’s very weird because very opposite to stereotypes: I knew girl in massage shop. I thougt she was beautiful and I paid her for sex many times.
I don’t know if I’m loser but I’m not ugly and I’m pretty well-off.
I started to text her every day for one year and I went to her in every trip in Asia. She never asked me to send her money. I took her for luxury trip and she never asked me for gifts. She asked me her “salary” only (100 euros per day).
At end I asked her to live with me because I fell in love but she refused because she didn’t love me. After she took off to work in Seoul massage.
I tried again talking with her sister, I wanted send her christmas gift so I proposed to her sister to come with me to mall because I would like to buy Tiffany’s necklace. It was worth about 3000 euros. Sister talked her and reported me she refused. She didn’t want any jewelry, she preferred a coat because she felt cold in Seoul.
I sent her a burberry scarf
Do you know someone can refuse 3000 euros gift?
I think I found out the honest one, she didn’t love me and so she refused. She could live wealthy life with me and also if she got korean boyfriend she could pretend to love me and take my gift and ask me new ones or money too.
I didn’t want fall in love with thai girl, I just went there to have fun with friends. I’m 38 years old, with all my hair in my head, slim, green eyed and pretty rich. What do you think about?
I can easily demostrate I speak the truth because I can meet the blogger in BKK: I’ll be there on August 18 🙂 Businness class airplane and 5 star hotel: the poor pretty woman refused her Richard Gere.
I’m not native english speaker so I hope you could understand me well
Thanks to read.
I’ve heard stories like this a lot, these are the best trips but I would advise that when you leave to never speak to her again. I know it’s hard because you build a meaningful connection and she is a lovely human being. However, these relationships never end up working for any number of reasons, just be glad you had the experience, it’s a rare one to obtain.
We’ve all heard countless stories like this before. But they have a name for it now, “Captain Save-a-Hoe.” Haha
Like other commenters say on this post most “Zero to Hero” guys will have a difficult time scoring with anything other than “dark skinned Thai women.” Most light skin Thai girls are Hi-So and have no interest in farangs because they’re in high demand by wealthy Thai guys. When light skinned Hi-So girls are seen out on a date with a farang it lowers their value because everyone knows that farang guys pay Thai ladies for sex. They don’t want to look like hookers so they usually try avoid farangs. I have seen some exceptions though.
I also prefer the light skinned Chinese looking Thai girls. But don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind being bangin all the tan LBFM Thai girls, but there is just something that turns me on about that light milky white skin on Thai women.
Many of the light skinned Thai girls also look like little hot K-pop sluts. It’s also more of a rarity so maybe that’s why. One of my friends only likes the super dark black looking Thai’s. That’s kind of his fetish but to each his own I guess.
Most of the light skinned Thai’s come from northern part of Thailand like Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai, etc. But, surprisingly there are quite a few from Isaan area as well. Many people have this misconception that all Thai’s from Isaan are dark skinned. Many are light cos many of them migrated from Laos and southern China. I’ve dated several hot light skinned Thai ladies who I swore were from Chiang Mai and was shocked when they told me they were from.
Most light skinned Thai girls are from northern Thailand and are Hi–So, stuck up, and spoiled like Korean women or western women. Despite all that, I want to be balls deep in every one of their little light skinned Thai snappers. Guess I’m a glutton for punishment. Lol…
Korean women aren’t spoiled, its just a different social contract (western women are 100% spoiled).
You can fuck around on a K girl (as long as its not in her face and her friends dont find out lol) and she still will support you, and take care of you.
But if the money/status train stops they will be gone in a blink of an eye. Dont lose your job!
To me they are the most “americanized” asians and the best looking (after surgery lol), most intelligent (most are educated), and actually have a real work ethic.
Best to date them outside korea, as like most places in asia that place is a fucking jail even for them. Just look up the song “Itaewon Freedom” and you’ll understand what I mean (basically koreans are only allowed to be themselves in the foreigner area, how ironic).
@Klove – Well said. You make some valid points about Korean women. Like you say, Korean women aren’t as bad as fem-nazi western women. But many of the Hi-So (Hi-Society) Korean women make it a goal to become just like western women who want to be catered too while giving the bare minimum in a relationship with the bitch attitude and all. I’ve dated Korean women in Korea and U.S. so have experience with them. Not all are like that but many (particulary the very hot ones) have become this way. I hear it was different 20 years ago before K-pop and Samsung. Even so, I still rather date a Korean over a fat, pale, selfish western whale of a woman any day.
l must be going too wrong places in Thailand every Thail girl l meet is a hooker no matter if they single or not
Yes you must.
your a funny guy Harvie any way funny thinking about comeing too Bangkok for a few days were the best place for hookers and how much for short time and long time cheers
that’s 2 times l ask you some thing harvie you not give answer as l tell Thail girls up too you
Your question is to generic, there is no ‘best place for hookers’, maybe I’ll write about it in my next post.
ok l look forward too reading it
@Paul McFarlane – It’s a generic question …but the best places for nightlife and hookers can be found in the 3 main nightlife red light areas in Bangkok: Soi Cowboy (try Baccara and CrazyHouse), Nana Plaza (check out Billboard and Bangkok Bunnies, and Patpong (Kings Corner 1 & 2, and BadaBing.). That’s a good start and those places get decent reviews from most sites.
@Paul McFarlane – Also BTW, I’ve personally been to all the gogos and bars I mentioned at Soi Cowboy, Nana Plaza, and Patpong so I can actually say they’re top of the line places to go to. But they’re not the cheapest. Probably among the most expensive.. but if you want to score with the top of the line sexxxy girls 9s and 10s super models, you’ll have to pay the price. You get what you pay for in Thailand. But still much cheaper than most places in the Western World. ..IMHO.
will try thanks
Lets be a little more honest…
Skinny is not great, better if youre not.
Bald is not always ok, better to keep some of the little you have left, dont shave your head.
Eyeglass are not great, consider contact lenses when going out.
Always better to shave than to not.
And stay pale if youre pale, its good. I had a period in 2012/13 when i always stayed out with friends/girls till morning, and slept in daytime. After 3-4 months i was very white, being blond and of scsndinavian blood adds to the whiteness, so i decided i HAD to do something to get some color but then girls started to approach me with compliments about my color. Its one of the things we dont need to understand, just accept it.
While eyeglass, shaved head, skinny body, beard and strong tans are ok you will do even better without.
And ofcourse, dont dress like a tourist. Always longpants and shoes, i believe tshirt is great but i know Harvey recommend wearing shirt.
And finally, dont talk about boring shit, dont make fun of their music taste or talk too much about typical guy-things or promote the greatness of western values, not saying theyre dealbreakers but being self-centered is never a good thing. To demonstrate how the girls will feel: You probably feel the same if someone walk up and say “im from Sweden! You know Volvo and IKEA, right???”.
Sweden have beautiful as well
I think young guys should go to one of big cities of their country and stay there for a while to learn how to communicate with girls before moving to Thailand.
I can’t speak for Bangkok – but I can for phuket and pattaya. I’ve lived in both for several years now.
There are enough cool buff “chads” and tattoo thug guys in these cities from western countries to give any issan type girl here plenty of quality choice. Yes she may not be able to date a “good” thai man but her choice in farang is high quality in terms of cool confident dudes and good looks. If you are a nerd loser geek you better have a BIG bank roll to compensate ( aka you’ll just be fucking hookers / sugar babies ).
In pattaya and phuket there is NO such thing as a “zero to hero” guy fucking anything even half decent for free. If you see a scrawny geeky guy here doing well with girls ( for free ) he is most likely NOT new to women and has very good game, coolness, and probably parties his ass off. He isn’t some shy nerd zero to hero type guy. Chances are he has a few decent slays under his belt from back home as well.
If you are a loser back home, coming to Thailand is going to be just as hard if not harder. You will probably just meet some girl looking to scam you and eventually milk whatever money you have while hooking or banging chads/thugs on the side.
Just get on Thai Cupid and have a blast.
The problem is you WILL find someone you like enough to stay with.
The good thing about Thailand and other 3rd world countries is that a couple thousand dollars a month will be plenty and give you many great options.
In the US 2K is poverty and you don’t have a chance in hell.. haha
Personally I think people need to have about 2K a month and stay at least a couple of years here to really appreciate it. Then decide what to do. I have traveled to many 3rd world countries and they are all basically the same. I am from Texas and have retirement visa here. But, also travel to Mexico and South America. Just chill and have a good time the rest will follow.
Thanks for the post.
First time to Thailand was 2010. Now in Dec. 2019 it is very different. First of all prices have really almost doubled in most cases, even though the exchange rate of 30 THB to the dollar is the same. The bar girls have much more attitude and are pros at seperating you from your money. After 10 uears of Thailand i think i will find another holiday location.