Why Western Girls Struggle to Date in Thailand

Western girls will be the first ones to tell you how bad the dating pool is in Thailand.

Not only do I wholeheartedly agree with them, I’m going to tell you why they are right.

Dating in Thailand for western women sucks.

If I were a white women, not only would I be making less money than I do now, but trying to find a serious long-term relationship in Thailand would be hell. 

In this article I will explain why Thailand is the worst place for western women to find love or obtain a long-term relationships.

Note: This article uses a lot generalisations as it would be impossible to write it without doing so.

These are my thoughts based on running this site and being in Thailand for over seven years.

I’m going to start by looking at the option western women in Thailand have for dating.

Thai and Asian men

Speaking to western girls in Bangkok, the general response is that Asian men aren’t their type. 

I believe that is a fair statement as I hardly ever see a western women holding hands with a Thai or Asian man.

Why?

Asian men tend to be much shorter than their western counterparts, they are not very bulky and their interests differ greatly from western women.

It’s safe to say that women as a whole don’t want men who may be shorter or smaller than them.

The average height of a Thai male is 169cm or 5’6.

The average height of a US female is 165cm or 5’4.

The average height of a Thai female is 160cm or 5’2.

(Source)

My Thai girlfriend (who you’ll be getting to know her more in this article) said she prefers taller men because if she was to have a baby there’s a greater chance her baby would be tall, and that taller guys look better in almost every aspect.

She said something just doesn’t feel right when the guy is shorter than the girl, and sometimes that can annoy the guy.

I think most will agree that being tall is a good trait when finding a partner, and most girls want someone bigger than them.

European and American women are the tallest women in the world.

But let’s say that’s not true and girls don’t care about that.

I think Thai guys look great, some have a great dress sense and serious swagger that makes up for other short-falls.

How good would a Thai boyfriend really be for the long-term?

A recent survey revealed that Thailand is the most adulterous country in the world.

56% of married people admit to having an affair in Thailand, if people were honest in that poll, the number would be higher.

Cheating in Thailand is not as much of a big deal than the west, and not a reason for divorce.

Don’t get me wrong, if you cheat on a Thai girl all the drama you would have being caught is still there, but unlike the west it’s not an instant breakup or divorce.

If my girlfriend had a brother, I’m pretty sure he would be taking me to Thai go go bars and gentlemen clubs.

My married and un-married friends are taken to such establishments by their the male members of their partner’s family.

This is what men do in Asia.

I asked a Thai friend how common cheating really is, this is how our conversation went.

Me: Hey, how many of your Thai friends do you think cheat on their partner?

Him: define cheating?

Me: Kissing or more.

Him: what about g clubs and karaoke bars?

Me: Of course!

Him: 100%.

One friend told me it’s only cheating if you don’t wear a condom.

Thailand even has words for a second wife (mia noi).

My girlfriend has an older friend in her 40s, we’ve known her for years, she is very sweet and always goes out her way to help us when we move apartment or need anything.

She never has a bad thing to say and when I was sick, she even went to the pharmacy to get me tablets.

I asked my girlfriend how can someone so nice and attractive be single in her 40s.

It turns out that she is the mia noi of an older Thai guy who is married with children, and she has been dating him for over 10 years and he takes good care of that.

That literally blew my mind and when I looked into the mia noi, this rabbit hole went too deep for the scope of this article.

Western men

Your other choice is us, the western male.

I’d say Bangkok has the worst bunch of western male expats for a major city.

80% or more of us come here because we were misfits or had no social placement in our native country.

The western guys in Thailand are the guys you never wanted to date back home because they were losers.

Think about it, why would a charismatic guy with a great job, friends, family and a lifestyle give that up and move to Thailand?

Hint: they don’t.

You don’t leave a first world country to live in a third world country permanently if your life is great.

Men who were relocated for work and not choice are usually better people to date and do not fit the segment I’m talking about.

But even these guys can become comprised if they make the wrong friends or get lured into the temptations of the city.

That sums up most of the dating player pool of 20-30 year old guys in Thailand.

Your reasons for moving to Thailand may have been because it would be a cool new experience, you can find a job here teaching while travelling the world, but that’s not true for men.

The first wave of western expats were older retirees looking for love in Thailand (90s) after being divorced.

Thanks to the Internet the current wave of expats are a mixture of digital nomads and guys who fit no social circles and have had little success with girls back home, so they moved here.

The third wave which is slowly happening now are the guys hate all the political correctness and feminist movements happening in the west (I have a feeling they are going to be worse than us!).

Each wave has been hurt by western women in some form of rejection.

So not only is the current pool of guys sucky, some really don’t like you.

Social dynamics for dating in Thailand

In the west girls have the power and control in relationships.

It’s very easy for women to get a date compared to men.

I’m not hating, that’s just how the game is played and I’m fine with the rules.

However, these rules do not apply in Thailand.

A skinny guy with not a lot going for him can meet and date reasonably attractive and nice Thai girls with a little bit of effort.

Guys living in Thailand have the characteristics of a Bitcoin.

Everybody mocked them for years and thought they would amount to nothing, but when they stepped onto the tarmac in Bangkok their value sky-rocked.

All the reasons why we would not make a good partner in the west doesn’t apply here.

Now take a guy who is higher up on the food chain and doesn’t live in his mum’s basement.

He looks good, earns well, is charming and lives in Thailand, for this guy Asia is a place to become a bachelor.

The standard narrative for a guy aged between 20-30 living in Thailand is not to find love, but to live a hedonist lifestyle because they are now of value.

They don’t want one partner, they just whats best for them.

Compare this to a western women coming to Thailand the first time.

The moment you step off that plane, your value plummets faster than VW’s shares in 2015:

Your value doesn’t drop because Thai girls are superior, your value drops because you come here with the same standards for dating men as you did in the west.

Very few men in Thailand want to meet that standard.

Now let’s look at the choices men have in Thailand.

Thai Girls 

To us, Thai girls are exotic because it’s something we are not used to seeing everyday, remember we were living in a basement for 20 years with no Tinder matches.

Their body type, facial features, skin color and eyes are all new concepts, and the idea that they will actually talk to us blows ours minds.

Thai girls are also more submissive and let men get away with more (see the chart above).

I asked my girlfriend what she would do if she caught me cheating.

She said our relationship would never be the same, she would be mad, would punch me, hate me for a while but she would not leave me.

Just imagine for a second, a guy having that card in his pocket, how is anyone able to compete with that?

You’re probably thinking why the hell would you want to cheat on your girlfriend or wife, that is so horrible.

Spoiler alert: that’s the kind of people we are – horrible. 80% of western men in Thailand are not guys you want to date, we are savages.

Faithful guys don’t live in Asia, it’s just too god damn hard!

I’m not saying this is true for all Thai girls as that would be silly, but I believe because cheating is so common here, being caught is not a big of a deal compared to the west.

When a Thai girl gets into a relationship she is thinking about the long-term and her security.

If a man can provide her security for the rest of her life and she knows she will always be #1 no matter what and her needs are met, she will buy a ticket for the ride.

Here are some real life examples.

Example 1:  a western friend of mine is married and when he goes on holiday without his wife, she puts condoms in his suitcase.

They have been happily married for 4 years.

Example 2: Another friend of mine is married with two kids. His wife knows he goes to G clubs and other venues very infrequently. She does not like him going there but she has accepted it and doesn’t bring it up any more.

He does a great job at raising his kids, gives his wife ample attention and is helping her to reach her life goals (starting a family and she is know starting a business).

They have been together 7 years.

You may think that is disgusting, vulgar and my friends are paces of shit, but that’s common in relationships in Thailand.

As I make up the 80% of shit bags,  I must say it’s really refreshing to see a girl accept all my horrible flaws and love me with all her heart anyway.

I don’t think men or women in the west can achieve level of compassion, we are just too rigid in our ideologies of marriage and relationships.

It takes someone with a lot of compassion and forgiveness to be able to do that, and Asian women have it in abundance.

It’s much easier to be faithful when you’re living in a suburb in the US and no woman is batting an eyelid at you, but in Thailand with temptations on every corner it’s another story.

I wrote an article a while back of an account of my male friends who came from various backgrounds and each one of them ended up cheating on their partner during their trip to Thailand.

Maybe I just have shit friends, or maybe boys will be boys.

Western girls 

Our other choice is you, the western girl.

When it comes to banter and shit talking, I don’t think there’s anyone better or more fun than western girls.

Personality wise Thai girls don’t touch you and I don’t think they ever will because we share the same culture and up bringing.

We have more things in common.

I’d have a drink with you than anyone else.

I’d have no problem dating western girls.

I don’t because once you get to know the real me, you’d run for the hills and I could not blame you.

Your standards are too high, and I’m not willing to meet them.

My standards are too low, and you’re not willing to accept them.

It would never work!

For the other 80% of men you have bought pain and hurt, and many came to Thailand to get away from you.

In our younger days you gave us no attention because we were dweebs. So we got upset and moved to Thailand.

For western guys talking to a western girl is a lot of work and brings up anxiety. 

I believe many guys are also very insecure to talk to you as you’ll quickly see them for what they are.

Thai girls on the other hand are sweet, even in rejection.

How can anyone compete with Thai girls?

Now I’ll address the elephant in the room which the physique of Thais.

Being small and thin is not a desirable quality in men, but it is for women.

Asian women in general are built in a way that you just cannot obtain unless you modify genetics from birth.

I’m not fat but if you put me next to a Thai girl, I look like a woolly mammoth that needs to be shot between the eyes, my body incinerated, and then my ashes re-incinerated to ensure I can never come back.

That’s how bad they make me look.

How is anyone meant to compete with that?

And there’s millions of them!

The Asian type is not loved by all men however, I’ve had several friends that have no interest in Asian women because they are too small and lack specific features.

My western friends on holiday usually ask me where to go out to meet western girls in Thailand because they have zero interest in Asian girls.

There are millions of guys that don’t like the Asian look – but very few of them will be living in Thailand.

These guys don’t live in Asia, they come for a short holiday and leave.

These guys love you and you’ll most likely connect with them better than us, but they are few and far between here.

The guys that stay are the ones who have the so called yellow fever and love or have weird fetishes for that look.

Tips for western girls dating in Thailand

To have fun dating in Thailand you need to see it for what it is.

Lowering your standards is the only way to get by here.

There’s less than 10% chance you’re going to meet an outstanding member of the male family in Thailand.

The cards are stacked against you.

The intentions for many to come here was to get away from you (sorry if that sounds mean).

Very few guys under the age of 30 are thinking of having a long-term relationship in Thailand when they step off that plane, and the ones that do are probably looking for a Thai women.

Most have read blogs like mine and others and their intentions are to make lots of mistakes and have fun.

If you want to date in Bangkok, you need accept that and have fun yourself.

Anyone western women who wants a husband and children any time soon, my advice would be to leave Thailand a few years before you want to make that goal a reality.

The last thing you want do is be stuck with one of us.

If you agree or disagree with any of my points about western women dating in Thailand, please leave a comment below.

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