The South East Asia City Breakdown
You, an aspiring heterosexual male, ready to leave your mother’s tit and make the move to Asia.
A move you’ve been planning for months, maybe even years.
As you fiddle downstairs trying to find your peanut size balls to make the jump, a question you’ll ask yourself is Which city in Asia should I move to?
So I created this guide.
I have picked 4 cities that in my opinion offer the best options for life your desired lifestyle.
Each city will be rated on the following:
- Lifestyle
- Cost of living
- Girls
- Visa situation
Note: if you hate Bangkok, you’re about to be triggered.
1. Bangkok
Bangkok is the best city in South East Asia.
No other city in South East Asia comes close.
I know dozens of you will reply in the comments and tell me that Bangkok sucks, and it’s not the best city in Asia.
But that’s because you’re biased.
If you polled an infinite number of males who have been all over South East Asia, and asked them which city in South East Asia is best, Bangkok would come out #1 in that poll.
Lifestyle
Bangkok is the number one city in South East Asia because you can live any kind of lifestyle you want.
Whether you’re the $700 a month starter phaggot who left his country a 22 and is trying to make his way through adulthood (that’s me), or the 10k a-day baller who wants to live in a Penthouse and dine out at the best restaurants in the world (Bangkok has several) – you can.
Spending $10,000 per month in Bangkok is VERY EASY because you have hundreds of gourmet restaurants, lavish bars, spas, penthouses, events and more.
There are so many ways to buy pleasure.
Good luck trying to spend $3,000 per month in Laos or Cambodia.
Bangkok is a city with millions of options.
500 gyms to choose from. 5,000 restaurants to choose from. 5 million girls to choose from.
And you have the BTS and MRT which will get you anywhere in Bangkok in about 30 minutes. The only place in South East Asia that has a metro system (Yes I know Singapore and Malaysia have metro systems too, but don’t nobody wanna live there.)
Taxis are cheap and the main airport is a hub to most places in Asia.
Cost of living
I think I explained that well above. You can live here from as little as $700>.
Girls
Thai girls are beautiful. Second best city in South East Asia to meet girls after Manila. Thai girls are so friendly and easy to get on with, they have a low barrier of entry meaning you can be a total loser and Thai girls will still talk to you.
If you love happy ending massages and soapies, then they are easy to find
Whether you want to pay for play, or play Cassanova – you can live out all your fantasies.
Visa
this is where Thailand lets itself down. You can only stay in the country for 90 days (unless you have a shit passport then you get less) before having to leave and re-enter. Not a deal breaker though.
2. Ho Chi Minh
I love Ho Chi Minh and it’s my number one city in South East Asia… if you plan on staying for less than 2 weeks.
Lifestyle
to grab a cup of coffee in HCM you gotta risk your life at least 8 times, I’m not joking.
Crossing roads is no fun, and each time you do it could be your last.
There is noise everywhere too, no peace and quiet in condos for the most part unless you want to live a little further out the main area.
They are fixing this by having gated communities with private parks, they awesome but sadly a little far away from the center, and the cultural vibes are close to 0% in these communities. It’s like being back in the west.
Ho Chi Minh is not a first-tier city yet, it’s getting there but it may take 5-10 more years.
There are not enough bars, club, gyms, restaurants or new areas to explore.
Yes, I know Vietnamese food is great and everywhere, but sometimes you just want a juicy rib-eye steak or some amazing Mexican food, in which case you’ll have two pick between 2 restaurants.
Things get repetitive quick, and you don’t have that whole first world vibe going that you do with Bangkok.
When was the last time Just Bieber or Coldplay toured Vietnam?
Never, that’s when.
Cost of living
Cost of living on average is lower than Bangkok and Manila. However, if you make good money and want to spend that cheddar on good food, drinks, gyms and the rest, you’re shit out of luck.
But if you don’t want to enjoy the finer things in life, HCM offers great value. I like to cook a lot of my own food and the last time I visited it was impossible to find western supermarkets that sold imported quality cuts of meat or fish.
I may sound negative but I really do like Ho Chi Minh, amazing city but sadly Bangkok has spolit me.
Girls
Vietnamese girls are beautiful. Maybe the best in Asia in terms of cultural and traditional values. If you like the girl next door, or like traditional Asian girls who never do wrong or is too shy to hands with guys, Vietnam is the place to find them.
If you’re coming here to spin plates and date lots of girls…
Ho Chi Minh is modern but if you want to play most of your days playing the field, visit Bangkok or Manila. If you want to settle down with a sweet local girlfriend, then visit Vietnam.
If you want to spin some plates, visit Jakarta, Manila or Bangkok and not HCM.
HCM does have some massage options, but they aren’t as easy to find as Manila or Bangkok and freelancers in nightclubs will often end up scamming you.
Visa situation
Visa situation in Vietnam is like Thailand, if you pay a bit more money you can get a 1-year visa for around $1,000.
2. Manila
Wait I thought Ho Chi Minh was #2?
They are both #2 for different reasons.
Lifestyle
You can live a pretty good lifestyle in Manila if you have money. If you plan to send $1,000<, then I would advise against coming here.
The city has lots of great dive bars, restaurants, clubs, and there’s enough first word condos, gyms, supermarkets to be able to ball out.
Condo prices are so high in safe zones, and you cannot find the $300 rooms in amazing locations that you can in Bangkok or HCM.
Manila’s biggest downfall is its traffic.
“Well, the traffic in Bangkok is not that good either?”
If you just uttered this comment, Bangkok has a BTS system where you can get anywhere in 30 minutes. It also has motorbike drivers that will whizz your ass through traffic to anywhere you need to be for $4.
Manila has none of that, (it has a metro system but it’s not in the areas expats live).
Between the hours of 5pm to 11pm, you better check your black ass at home.
Manila traffic has gotten to the level that no traffic in a city should ever get to: full retard.
3 hours to get anywhere, if a girl tells you she will be there at 5pm, she’s there at 9.
Manila does have one thing none of the rest of South East Asia have (Singapore does not count because nobody wants to live there), Bonifacio Global City (BGC,) a 3km area of Manila that looks like any top western city.
Streets are marked out in blocks, every restaurant is new, amazing gyms, nice (but expensive) condos, parks, and almost no crime because they have police with guns making you feel safe.
It’s the safest place in Manila, maybe the safest place in Asia?
Sadly it’s only 3km wide and beyond that, the streets, pollution, and smells get really bad.
Leaving your condo is not fun because everything is just grey. It just brings your mojo down.
Oh and the food sucks. Least with Bangkok and Ho Chi Minh you have great street food you can eat for $2, in Manila, there is none of that.
How many Filipino restaurants have you seen in your life?
Zero, that’s how many.
Cost of living
Manila is 30% more expensive than Bangkok in general, with condo prices being about 20-30% more than Bangkok. If you don’t like to cook (produce is limited because it’s an island) then your only option is to pay a lot to eat out every day.
You can’t do the $5 street food diet in Manila because there’s no good food.
Girls
Filipino girls are beautiful. If you want to date lots of girls and be a playboy, Manila is the best city in South East Asia to do that (even better than Bangkok).
As far as pay for play goes, Manila has several massage and freelancer options.
Visa situation:
You can pretty much stay in Manila for as long as you like. You just need to renew your visa which easy and fairly cheap.
4. Jakarta
Jakarta is a place for veterans. If you’ve not done a few years in South East Asia already, Jakarta will make you shit your pants.
There’s not too much to do there, and if you want to do it, there’s so much traffic that you can’t.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BgQFdongT1G/?tagged=jakartacity
Things are just too far apart and hard to reach. And Muslims.
Lifestyle
I’m not really sure how much of a lifestyle there is there, it’s way too hot in the day and there’s too much traffic at night.
Jakarta made my list simply because it’s for party-goers, if you love to get rekt then live here.
Bangkok used to have a very good club scene 6 years ago but nowadays it not as intense as so many clubs have closed. Jakarta has a great scene and the locals love to party hard.
It’s a very underrated city in that regard.
No other reasons to live here. Great for short visit and the local food is actually very good.
Girls
Indonesian girls are beautiful. They are so cute, friendly and caring. Some of them like to party too.
Their pay for play options are limited but you can still find them. Not as safe as Bangkok or Manila either so you’ll need some experience here.
Visa
There’s your full list of cities to live in South East Asia.
“WTF Harvie, you missed out Singapore, Hanoi, Bali, Phuket, Chang Mai, Kuala Lumpur”
Lol, that’s a good one.
You don’t want to live there.
Phuket is an isolated island with very few direct flights to anywhere good (you almost always need to change at Bangkok or KL first), there is a lack of quality produce because of nothing good in shipped in. It’s super hard to get around the island without a motorbike or paying high fees for taxis. No food options unless you have in Patong.
Hanoi is quite nice, but to live there long term the place is just too damn small.
Chiang Mai, again too small.
Singapore, do you have $5 million dollars, lol did not think so.
Bali, too many bogans.
Don’t get it wrong, I enjoy all the cities I just shit on for holidays and vacations, they all offer things that Bangkok doesn’t (clear air, beaches), but long-term they don’t have the options or flexibility the cities above provide.
Your thoughts?
What are your top 3 cities in Asia?
The Handjob Experience – A Short Story
Can I get laid in Thailand?
Can u help me to how to settle in Bangkok or anywhere in Thailand or move from India to Thailand, I visited 4 time ,and finally I m in love with Thailand, can’t control my self to come over there, my job my home I want to quit here !!!!
Out of these 4 cities I only know Bkk and Manila really well and have to say your comments and opinions on both are spot-on. You forgot the pretty important pro of English being widely spoken in Manila though 🙂
Hey Harvie if your in Saigon let’s have a drink on me bro , visiting 3/23 to 3/25 of March this month. Any good places to visit please share? Flying out of NY in 10!days
cheers
West
Veing Dong massage, it’s in the hotel. You’re welcome.
These cities are all terrible. Why would you move to the other end of the world to live in an overpopulated shithole. Makes no sense to me.
Comments like this is why I love the Internet : ).
Can you make a guide for the aspiring homosexual?
Just Google “vegan blogs bkk”.
Last Sunday my Thai GF and I were coming back from the floating market and got into a metered taxi, about 3 minutes into the trip the driver said that he needed to stop for fuel. I didn’t mind as we where not in a rush, just told her to have him switch off the meter while he was refueling. Then things got ugly with both of the yelling at each other and the driver flagging another taxi down which we got into and completed the trip without any issues.
Apparently because I was a farang he thought he could pull a fast one, while this was going on I checked his fuel gauge and it was over half full, when I told her that I thought she was going to beat him to death. I guess once he discovered that the scam wasn’t going to work he didn’t want anything more to do with us or her. He couldn’t have made that more with the spot but I guess he didn’t like being called out. Other than that one incident and taxi drivers that don’t want to use the meter, I really have not had that kind of experience here and this is my 3rd time here. But don’t get me started on the tuk tuk drivers….
Tourist traps are full of taxi drivers waiting to rip you off. Uber is better, get the driver to take you there, then call them to pick you up.
As a recent transplant from the USA I can make a few suggestions. First you have to settle on a budget quickly and realistically. Once that is done then within those guidelines you need to find a place to live. I read here about various places and settled on the Thong Lo area close (7min) to the BTS. It is a great area with reasonable prices on food, massages and rent, plus it is easy to get anywhere in Bangkok quickly on the BTS.
Then if you have the funds get into a Thai language class to get the basics of ordering food and using transportation. You will also have the benefit of being able to talk with women a little bit which goes a long way, it is also easier to find work if you can speak a little Thai. After that then get a long term visa, bank account, girl friend and enjoy life. Stay with the budget as the GF will attempt to remove the cash from your wallet as quickly as she can. I’m not complaining it is just the way they do it here.
I’ve ending up living in Silom area close to the Chong Nonsi BTS which is a little more expensive but more in tune with my lifestyle. As my language skills increase I will be traveling more within Thailand and maybe doing a little work to keep me busy. Remember the budget as it is easy to lose track of how much you are spending. Have fun and enjoy!
Good comment Daniel, I agree.
I have lived all over Thailand and IMO there is no good place to live there. Heres my breakdown:
BKK – Lol complete nightmare. If you enjoy living in an overcrowded, rat-infested dump and being stuck in traffic 24/7 it might be for you.
Chiang Mai – Very nice place but too small and theres fuck all going on there. Also three months of the year they burn the fields and it becomes a health hazard to live there.
Koh Samui – Too small. You can drive around the entire island in an afternoon. I lasted a month before I got cabin fever and went back to the mainland.
Phuket – Too spread out, its a hassle to get around. Also the local thais are some of the most rude cunts Ive ever met.
Pattaya – Ironically this is the best place in terms of logistics and getting around. Its a laid-back beach town, easy to get around and everything is very central (not so spread out like Phuket). The problem: Youre Living in an open-air whorehouse and the expat “community” is mostly geriatric burn-outs. There is fuck all to do except boozing/whoring and your social life will suffer.
Every other place beyond that is even worse and not even worth to talk about IMO. Overall thailand is very overrated and I would not live there again.
Great post, agree with everything other than your final paragraph.
He was spot on about Pattaya^
I lived in Thailand during 2011-2013 and I can tell you it was the best time of my life. I lived and worked at Chonburi which put me halfway between BKK and Pattaya and life was just fantastic. I wish I was there still now… I had to leave because my employer company got sold. I would say that any work which can enable one to live near BKK or in BKK is the best. The rest of Thailand is okay but BKK wins despite the drawbacks. Now I live and work in Saudi Arabia and long for a holiday to BKK every day.
Good list, sort of. However, Singapore is excluded for no particular reason. Except for being “expensive”. No, its not. That is well balanced standard of living, normal prices for that quality of living and the market economy in place. Great city in every sense. Would include Hong Kong, even though it is not technically SE Asia, but belongs to this group. Jakarta could have been better evaluated here, it is dynamic, wild, exciting, affordable, full of beautiful girls /whether you are paying or not/ and not that many farangs. Deserves to be on the list. Yes, altogether, probably Bangkok has it all, but others are also strong contestants, and there are other criteria, like – age, salaries, family situation….
Some good points there. I like Singapore for a few days, not sure if it’s ideal to live there, everything just seems harder (to get girls) to cost of living (condo prices, cost of a beer).
I’ve not been to Jakarta for a while so my info on that place is a little limited, do agree with the lack of farangs that being a plus.
Yeah, I agree, Bangkok is nr 1 because you have so many options for your lifestyle.
One thing though and you touchee on it, girl situation is much better in Manila. Just the fact they speak English and don’t have thai ladyboy super aids. I kid, but theres too many damn ladyboys in Bangkok nightlubs these days and on Tinder. I also think Manila girls are generally prettier.
I wonder what living full time in Fort Bonafacio is like?
You forgot Hong Kong which is an awesome city despite the high cost. It has much of the crazy nightlife of Bangkok (including the hoes), but also do much to do and better trafif. Underrated part is ot has beaches and mountains and parks just nearby.
If you’re balling then it can be an option to think about. Downside are all the banker-wankers (as the local women call them). Effing bugmen mate.
Thank you very much Vicki!
@Harvie – You forgot to mention Pattaya, Thailand as one of top cities.
Pattaya has a lot going for it:
1) Fairly cheap housing and accomodation (much cheaper than Bangkok). Good value for money
2) Plenty fine dining options and quality food
3) Amazing nightlife and hot girls everywhere (mostly pay for play but you can still find plenty of good girls to date in neighboring cities like Jomtien or Naklua).
4) It’s easy to get around in Pattaya on the Baht Buses (only 10 Baht a ride). Traffic isn’t too bad so you can freely drive a car or motorbike.
5) Pattaya is a beach city so has cleaner air. Plenty of islands close by to explore
6) Pattaya has several new malls where you can find almost anything you need. Also plenty to keep you busy like zoos, jet skiiing, zip lining, parasailing, temple touring, ATV tours, etc. etc.
7) Pattaya is a big tourist destination so you can meet other westerners, Russians, Arabs, Indians, etc.
8) Pattaya is relatively safe if you stay away from Beach Road at 2:00 am while drunk.
9) Pattaya has good medical care
10) Pattaya is only an hour and a half away from Bangkok and halfway to Hua Hin so good location.
Some people feel that Pattaya has too many whores and sexpats to be considered a top tier Southeast Asian city. But the whores and nightlife is easily avoided if you dont live near Walking Street or Beach Road. Many expats live in Jomtien a few kilometers south of Pattaya or Naklua a few kilometers north of it. Also the surrounding towns of Pattaya have much nicer beaches and are quieter. Whenever they want to get back to all the action on Walking Street, it’s only a 10 minute baht bus ride away. No other SE Asian cities really have all of these things going for it. Bangkok comes close but no beaches and much more expensive to live there. Also Bangkok has bad traffic and a lot of air pollution.
Yeah Pattaya just needs to shake of its reputation and I think it could be a solid all-rounder with it being so cheap as well. Does Pattyaya have prominently Thai areas where it’s quite up-class too or not?
@Harvey- Yea, I was in Pattaya a few weeks ago. Patts is beginning to shake off it’s sexpat whore mongering reputation. Also, the Thai Minister of Tourism has downsized the “Zero Dollar Chinese Tours” in Pattaya cos they weren’t spendin much money and scaring westerners away.
There is a Thai upper middle class area downtown and around the “dark side.” Also Jomtien and Cosy Beach is being built up recently with nice condos going in. Cosy Beach is a much quiter alternative to beach road and downtown. But only a few kilometers away from all the wild action at the GoGo’s when you want it.
I’m not trying to knock Bangkok cos Bangkok is no doubt a top tier city in SE Asia. Just tryin to point out that Pattaya has it’s advantages too.
Great article by the way. Keep ’em coming.!
Pattaya is not even trying to “shake off” its reputation. Nor is anybody planning for it. There are tons of Zero dollar Chinese tourists and increasing. /but you can avoid them in LK metro and Soi Buakhao/. Of course, these are very positive things, and I like Pattaya too. But, the increasing number of tourists, cameras, families with children and young farang couples is really annoying. Though better than in Nana and Soi Cowboy
Other westerners, Russian, Arabs and Indians – that is a big minus. Other ‘comments’ are equally witty. Dude, your excitement tells us that you havent seen much of the world, and certainly not SE Asia, most probably one night in Bangkok. Sorry, your opinion has absolutely no value at all
@SE Asia Farang – LOL…What makes you think you’re such an expert on SE Asia? What value has your comment brought to this blog? Answer: Absolutely nothing. You’re probably just one of those disgruntled troll haters from ThaiVisa site.
It’s my opinion. Not saying everyone has to agree with me. Other Westerners, Russians, Arabs, Indians might be a minus for some people …or a plus for some people. Depends on how you look at it.
Spent plenty of time in Bangkok.. I’ve traveled enough of Asia and SE Asia to know what I’m talking about. Google my name and see for yourself….Also traveled all over Europe. You don’t even know me so why don’t you shut your pie hole.
I bet you didn’t even bother thoroughly reading this blog post. If you did, then maybe you would have something witty to say and actually bring some value to this comment section yourself…instead of merely trying to bash other peoples comments.
I agree with most of that. I think Saigon will be awesome in a few years once they get this long awaited metro. It takes a bit of time to understand the night life there too. But the situation is moving fast there.
Regarding visas, Thailand start becoming hard to stay for more than 6 months, unless you have a Thai Elite visa.
I would add Bali if you know where to locate. Location is really key there, avoid Kuta like the plague to avoid the boogans except to goo early at SkyGarden if you like nightlife. Ubud is nice but dead as fuck and full of hippies. Horny girls from Jakarta go to Bali on holidays making Thai girls like conservative grandmas in comparison. If your location is good and you go for the Javanese girls on holidays, you can get the best of both worlds.
@Johnny- Good comment. Jakarta and Bali is definitely on my bucket list. I wouldn’t mind having a boat load of horny Java girls drain my balls in Bali. They’re considered the latina’s of Asia with curvy hips, big boobs, and bubble butts.
I for one absolutely hate Bangkok. It is a hot, stinky, shitty, filthy, over priced city filled with sour faced miserable people.
I have lived in Asia for 15 years, five in two cities Thailand. Would not return. With the exception of the northwest former Lanna kingdom (Chiang Mai / Chiang Rai) and the stolen Cambodian provinces (Surin / Buriram), Thai women are the ugliest, fattest and least fashionable in Asia.
Western friend just made his first tour of Southeast Asia: HCMC, Mumbai, Phnom Penh, Siem Reap, Hanoi, Bangkok. He is not a mongerer. Just a regular traveler.
With zero prompting from me, he told me that he absolutely hated Bangkok and never wants to go back. He disliked it so much that he left early. Meanwhile, he stayed longer than planned in HCMC and Phnom Penh.
Go figure. Horses for courses!
He should add more places in India if he is just traveling imo. As for your first line, yes you’re right I think most tier 1 cities are like that :D.
“Visa situation in Vietnam is like Thailand, if you pay a bit more money you can get a 1-year visa for around $1,000”
If you are from the US, you can get a 1 year visa for $155 USD. No questions asked. No need to work, show income, bank accounts, or anything else.
Off the beaten path, but I’d put Batam Indonesia on the list. Short ferry ride from Singapore where the good jobs are. Cheapest place to drink in SE Asia – comparable with Manila and Hanoi. Golf courses are great. And women are beautiful and less than BKK. Just stay away from the Muslims.
I lived in Bangkok for 2 years and now in Saigon for 1.5 years so I can pretty accurately compare them (but not the other cities). I’m a teacher working out here.
Bangkok is definitely better in every aspect, at least on the surface. It’s more developed, more modern, more fun, better food, easier and more available girls, better apartments for teachers, better mongering, better infrastructure. It’s just better, in a league of it’s own.
But..
Saigon is far better for teachers. Thailand’s salaries are shit. I earn double here than I did there and it’s far cheaper here. They’re also friendlier in Saigon. Both places have good and bad locals but you’re definitely more likely to come across rude people in Bangkok than Saigon. Theres a distinct anti-foreigner sentiment in Thailand too.
But Thailand’s biggest downer is the visa situation. Its just getting harder and harder to stay, especially as a teacher. The feeling of being unwelcomed was the whole reason I left Thailand.
I like Bangkok far more overall. But as a teacher my pay and work to life balance is better in Saigon. If you take Bangkok but with Saigon’s cost of living and visa situation along with Manila’s English ability and open mindedness and I think we would have the perfect place.